To ask the most bonkers mumsnet post you've ever witnessed?

[agonyauntie]

After the deletion of various threads on here (you know what I'm talking about)

Just wondered what is the most bonkers mumsnet thread you've ever witnessed or came across?

Pirate sex, anyone remember that?

Vague memories of a first date with penguins. The bloke was an arse and she (Shiney?) was setting him up for revenge somehow.

We've got some contenders for the most bonkers of bonkerness threads today all on the same subject - the latest addition to the Royal Family. I despair at the way some posters on MN carry on.

The royal newborn is a doll is 2 weeks old etc etc
Bonkers and batshit but awful

The 2-weeks, warming pan variation theorists are creepy. I may have over stepped the mark on Meghan earlier but it's VERY obvious she's just had a baby, who even to my untrained eyes looks pretty tiny & brand new! I'm not sure what they see or don't see from under their tinfoil hats that the rest of us are oblivious to or just accept. I'm not the biggest DoS fan but she can't sneeze without offending someone, poor woman. It's ott and unfair. They also look v happy & in love so I hope they prove people wrong and last.

Plus the endless ones on their choice of names, and what Meghan was wearing. Imo these threads and the posts on them don't paint MN in a very positive light.

Aw I got told off at work for guffawing at the penguin date.

Hands down has to be Balonz

I nearly fouled myself laughing at willy willy willy

‘John Travolta does it in Grease if that helps? during the summer nights song’

Thought of another couple of bonkers threads, there were two by the same poster, both written as if it were the child narrating. The one I clearly remember was about the OP and her niece in a bookshop, it was so cringey and twee using 'child-talk' it was just awful. The OP did not take kindly to the criticism.

‘John Travolta does it in Grease if that helps? during the summer nights song’

Does he really?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Tell me more....

One of my favourites was the one where the OP wanted the law changed to say that if you pressed the button on a Pelican crossing you had to wait until the 'walk' light was green and not just take a gap in the traffic to cross

I remember that one :) That was quite mad.

lisa the Germans do that and tell you off if you just wait for a gap in the traffic.

it was so cringey and twee using 'child-talk' it was just awful. The OP did not take kindly to the criticism.

Ok, you have to elaborate!

I'll try IvanaPee, you know how some people do an affected type of speech and voice as to how they think children would speak? It was like that on steroids, seriously cringey diatribe such as:

"Horrid lady in the book shop told me off for sitting on the floor and taking all the books off the shelf and looking at them but my ever so fierce auntie stood up for me and told the horrid lady off back and then my auntie said how clever I was and took me for an ice cream because I am such a good girl and horrid lady shouldn't have said that to me and then auntie took me to the park...."

and on an on and on it went it was turn yourself inside out embarrassing to read.

The OP was an aunt and had taken her niece out, (can't remember the age of the niece fairly sure it was toddler age) the first instalment was to a bookshop where OP allowed niece to pull books off a shelf and scatter them across the floor, opening them and going through them in the process. Shop owner was unimpressed at the damage being caused to her merchandise. Second instalment was at a park or cafe, both events happened on the same day, and we were treated to this riveting story narrated by the child, with child opining on the various adults in the three act play.

It was dire.

God how revolting!

Either the Michaelangelo one or a thread about a random Chinese lady in someone's garden??

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3583629-About-dispute-with-neighbours?pg=1
This is really a bit bonkers.

I may be confusing two threads but another I remember was something to do with school photos, the OP was in Wales and kept on about there being some sort of corrupt practices within the school/PTA regarding selection of the photographer, and decided this was the same for all schools everywhere, it was odd. This is the part I may be confusing with another thread, I think the same poster had some beef with the school/PTA about garden work at the school, OP's dh was a landscape gardener, I can't remember if he was doing the work or wanted to do the work but it was a very strange thread (or two!).

Yes, IvanaPee the 'child talk' one was indeed revolting, according to the OP MN posters were all hideous, nasty vipers for not appreciating it.

There's a totally batshit one in AIBU at the moment.

Only one?

There's currently one going where OP is asking if she is BU by not eating cereal or toast for breakfast. At least, that's what it seems to be: perhaps it is written in code.

The one where OP wants to call the police because her DH nearly got splashed with water on their driveway. Apparently its harassment because the neighbours previously looked up at their DDs window. Totally bonkers.