To ask the most bonkers mumsnet post you've ever witnessed?

[agonyauntie]

After the deletion of various threads on here (you know what I'm talking about)

Just wondered what is the most bonkers mumsnet thread you've ever witnessed or came across?

Has anyone mentioned the woman who sent dozens of pizzas to her daughter’s school as a birthday treat and couldn’t understand why the staff didn’t move mountains to facilitate the whole thing? She was fuming that the pizzas were cold by the time they reached her daughter What made it more bizarre was that, amongst the tiny number of people on the OP’s side, there was one woman taking it ridiculously seriously and saying ‘Why is no one in the UK brave enough to put their head above the parapet; you should encourage your children to ask for more from life’ or some such bollocks.

There’s a very long thread running at the moment that just screams creative writing (there’s a new ‘shock’ development every time the thread goes quiet) - but it’s getting huge amounts of traffic, so no way will it be deleted.

DP loves the "line of duty is real" one

Me too. The best bit is probably the polite bemusement of people saying "Errm, not really" with the OP getting ever more indignant that she's been deliberately hoodwinked.

snapped and farted one was funny.

Some batshit posts that spring to mind are a poster who makes her whole family use hand towels to dry themselves after they shower because she wants to wash the towels everyday but doesn't want to wash big towels.

A poster who uses two bottles of bleach a day bleaching her patio as her dogs walk on it.

And I did very much enjoy the Sistine chapel screamer and the making unwanted guests sit on the driveway.

Oh god yeah the hamster freezer one I remember

The trouble is that many of the “funniest” threads are either fake, so pointless, or make me feel uncomfortable about the relationship or mental health of the poster. I’m sorry if that’s not “in the spirit” of the thread. For me, it’s the writing style rather than the content that make me laugh. Some threads about cooking, for example, are proper funny.

@StillCoughingandLaughing

There’s a very long thread running at the moment that just screams creative writing (there’s a new ‘shock’ development every time the thread goes quiet)

Ooh! How frustrating! I quite see the the etiquette in not specifying it as basically it would be calling the OP a liar with no firm evidence, but I'm dying to know if it's one I've been watching.

I'll just have to die in ignorance

The trouble is that many of the “funniest” threads are either fake, so pointless, or make me feel uncomfortable about the relationship or mental health of the poster. I’m sorry if that’s not “in the spirit” of the thread. For me, it’s the writing style rather than the content that make me laugh. Some threads about cooking, for example, are proper funny.

That's how I feel too.

I have properly laughed at many threads on Mumsnet (although not to the extent of spitting my tea out) but they've always been about daft, harmless stuff. And sometimes people's puns or song lyric replies or whatever are really clever.

It was not bonkers but it was , in its way .

It holds a special place in my heart , haha.

Elderly Korean Lady.

I enjoyed

Dangerous Yeovalley yoghurts www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2544097-DANGEROUS-Yeo-Valley-yogurt-pots

The best bit is probably the polite bemusement of people saying "Errm, not really" with the OP getting ever more indignant that she's been deliberately hoodwinked.

God, I forgot that one. But actually, the cumulative effect was such that I finished by finding it depressing that anyone literate who had access to TV and the internet was so -- gullible? Thick? Unable to distinguish fact from fiction?

I found myself wondering how she would distinguish scientific studies on, say, vaccination, from frothing anti-vaxxer forums etc.

The Sistine Screamer was bonkers.

I loved the PRINCESS of TONGA thread. The OP didn't understand the MN sense of humour and got more and more frustrated. Sadly I think it got deleted at the OP's request.

Some are gently funny remember one about people bring too polite to correct others errors so spend whole lifetimes pretending to be married to someone else or happily being called by the wrong name.

Oh god MrsTSwift, those are my people! Due to a school tie mix up, someome I know vaguely now thinks I went to Cambridge. I avoid him like the plague. There was someone on here who feigned infertility problems & a subsequent miracle baby I think, to try and empathise with a colleague who's wife kept losing babies? Any way, she said she'd said it by accident and had kept up the lie... and now he wanted her to meet his wife, because her words had helped! That was a one!!

Other bat shittery I remember fondly: OP stealth-boast berating lack of cooking facilities at Oxbridge for offspring who couldn't live without the thought of cooking.

I really enjoyed one where an op posted about something strange on the wall of her daughters bedroom, iirc it turned out to be a strange snail of some sort but that was brilliant to watch unfold

my friend volunteered with the elderly and due to mix up they thought she was a single mother. Then she had to pretend with her baffled dh there that he was a new man and not the father of their 3 kids...

The current one where the OP
Is terrified to let her 16 year old DD go for a walk in the local woods in broad daylight because you know, rapists.

And loads of people are agreeing with her!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/2927932-AIBU-about-the-man-on-the-bus

This one for me...I actually use the bus quite a lot and I "think" I know what she was talking about with Fly Space and Flight Seat (maybe!)

I think about it quite often when I'm bored on the bus.

This one for me...I actually use the bus quite a lot and I "think" I know what she was talking about with Fly Space and Flight Seat (maybe!)

Not a fan, either it is someone trying to create a 'Sharon and the Wine' style comedy thread and is forced and unspontaneous or it is someone who has quite severe health problems having the piss taken out of them across nearly 20 pages by people who should know better.

The sex in the hedge one was actually my post a couple of usernames ago. I can confirm it was all true and yes, it was a bit ridiculous but there's nought stranger than folk! But just to correct a pp I didn't rig up a sound system I just put my portable speaker in the hedge

plantbased - thank you, I loved that thread. 'I've never heard a badger ask for a finger up the bum' had me in tears of laughter.

RosemaryHoight the pomander one is one of my favourites too

I loved the elderly Korean lady thread, "Apparently I'm dead" and "pom bear anyone?" I did not understand why people think "snapped and farted" is funny. I'm clearly missing the joke here

Sistine Screamer is very funny too.

Anyone remember the troll who posted that her aunt and uncle had stolen her inheritance from her parents who had died in the Zeebrugge ferry disaster. It went on for several months (if not years). the main thing I took from that thread was to make a good will just in case I should pop off early!

I would love to read lemon drizzle cake again but I can't remember what it was called.

If I'm I a bad mood (or in a really boring meeting) I head over to Classics - there are some crackers in there

The 'bonkers' posts have stayed with me a lot less long than some of the really sad ones. I remember in particular a woman who had been married to an academic who treated her appallingly yet who didn't seem to be able to walk away, and the poster whose child was desperately ill and then tragically died, and the lovely lady whose DP died of cancer and who was so funny and brave in spite of it all. Also, those with terminal illness, dealing with it with such nobility and strength. I raise a glass to all of you.

The Sistine Screamer one was brilliant!

I think the post I was most irrationally annoyed at was when an op was complaining about a woman being naked in the changing rooms at the gym and getting really near her, and some poster waded in with "well, perhaps she couldn't afford a towel."
Seriously? I mean, come on, fucking seriously?????

Does anyone have a link to the sisteen chapel thread? :)