To ask the most bonkers mumsnet post you've ever witnessed?

[agonyauntie]

After the deletion of various threads on here (you know what I'm talking about)

Just wondered what is the most bonkers mumsnet thread you've ever witnessed or came across?

I read the 'ejaculated on my assignment' thread at the time and thought 'no way did that happen'. And then I thought 'hmm, well, on the other hand, abusive men do all sorts of horrible things in order to humiliate their partners, so I suppose it's not entirely impossible?'.

But one way or the other it was revolting. Either because someone thought it was funny, or because someone out there is with a man so hideous that he did something like that.

I agree that these events changed MN but i am less nostalgic for the 'old' MN which was very cliquey and ab upper middle class enclave, you'd hear people described as Mumsnet Royalty and people would suck up to them like mad and agree with people based on who they were rather than what they'd written, falling over to tell them how funny they were. It also seemed one of the quickest ways to get 'royalty' status was to be needlessly rude under the guise of telling it like it is. I for one don't mourn the old MN.

Pretty much this. Some of the sycophantic fawning by some posters desperate to be onside with the royalty set was fairly desperate stuff.

I always assumed some kind of bat signal was projected into the skies whenever a MN Royal was being taken to task over some nasty remark as the number of people who would log in and rally to the defence of said poster was astonishingly fast. The whole 'I am just being honest / telling how it is' defence became a bit boring when in fact they were just acting like a cunt to impress their fan base.

Pretty much this. Some of the sycophantic fawning by some posters desperate to be onside with the royalty set was fairly desperate stuff.

I know, i seem to remember a poster named their new dog after a well known poster on here. Cringeworthy stuff.

Ha ha ha ha oh no was it called fido

The thread I think in style and beauty of what a look was intended to be and the actual reality had me literally crying with laughter

No 'HullyGully'

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1471644-Sooooooooo-HullyGullys-a-tiny-Bitch-right?pg=4&order=

MsTSwift the 'fashion fails' thread was very amusing and you could relate to it because most of us have been there!

I've just discovered that HullyGully is a dance, a game and a song. I had always just thought that the poster who went by that name was from Hull and liked seagulls or something like that

Scraping the memory banks a bit, but a slightly weird thread where a poster and her kids went sledging with a couple of other families. Other mums were dressed in appropriate winter clothing. OP wore a short skirt, knee-high boots (she was very specific about the knee high) and two pairs of woolly tights because that was apparently loads warmer and far more sensible for rolling about in snow than whatever the other women were wearing. She was absolutely convinced that the other mums were side-eyeing her and making out she was a bit trampy on the tube afterwards.

It all descended a bit into "But I'm so SEXY and their husbands drool over me and they're horrible and frumpy and JEALOUS". Posters responding were mostly and . I'm pretty sure the poster turned out to be a fantasist later on down the line - in fact was it TDWP?

Shitting man - where the father of a teenager the OP tutored (I think it was that) took a massive shit in her toilet every week!

Yes, I remember the TDWP sledging thread. And the Curtseying At A Policeman one, which was actually funny.

Smokeahontas - I remember that, it turned out to be the tip of the iceberg didn't it? He had stalkery tendencies. I hope the OP's ok now.

Thanks BoF, glad my memory's holding up! I vaguely remember the Curtseying one too. Guess it's gone now?

Someone pm me what I missed!

My favourite was the roasted badger one where the exH lived in the woods and took the DC there and cooked roadkill over a campfire or something. I at least hope it wasn't true 😳

I haven't been on Mumsnet very long so this has been hysterical to read

There was one a few months ago where OP was convinced that someone had broken into her flat and stolen her ironing board. Poor OP was genuinely afraid for her own safety - but the replies were just a stream of bizarre theories such as aliens, a rogue estate agent, a serial killer under the bed, poltergeists...

Also, don't forget the person who made multiple posts about her daughter not enjoying kickboxing...

The sex in my hedge one was very amusing. I think at one point the OP rigged a sound system to play Marvin Gaye's let's get it on or something similar once she heard the couple get going which scared them off. Turned out to be a a couple from the flats nearby having an affair. The shitting man one was good too.

This is my current favourite; making people sit on the drive after turning up uninvited 🙄
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3571382-WIBU-to-make-them-sit-outside

@NeverSayFreelance I saw the ironing board one but didn't see the OP tell us where the ironing board was, do you know if she came back with a conclusion to the mystery?

There was one where op dh had a standing joke where he ran through the house topless beating his chest and doing Tarzan noises. Op decided to do it back to find her dh and their builder sitting at the kitchen table looking horrified

This is my current favourite; making people sit on the drive after turning up uninvited 🙄
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3571382-WIBU-to-make-them-sit-outside

Yep. Me too.

One of my first MN thread reads was the poster who found a white pill in her teen's room and posted for advice... many pages later it turned out to be a smint or similar.

Oh my goodness? The 'would you like to come and experience yoni massage. I assure you we can give you the best orgasm ever" etc etc etc.

Could someone link the caravan park moonlight flit? I enjoy quite a few of the threads already mentioned but also enjoyed the one recently where OPs Dds hamster had died on her birthday and OP was planning to freeze him and wait for a less special day to discover his demise.

I love kosher fridge, and the dolphins, too. The inherent evil of Dolphins is brilliant and informative. I now know that ducks are rapey and have corkscrew genitals, and that a lady once wanked off a dolphin in the course of teaching him to talk... through his blow hole. The weirdest whilst still most compelling was shared custody of the bear with the ex gf. The bear had loads of dress up clothes, got given Xmas gifts and was apparently a "port quaffing bastard". There was a picture of the bear and it did look quite smug. And OP wasn't a troll, apparently!

There is also an amazing thread from the tv board I think about morten harket on celeb mr & mrs. It's pretty normal... until it gets brought back from zombiedom by someone who appears to be drunk & vaguely related to Morten. She proceeds to shout at people for finding him twatty, 3 years too late & in slightly broken English, which just makes it funnier!

DP loves the "line of duty is real" one".

Does anyone remember a thread from a few years ago I think where the object of the thread was to keep a story going? Everyone piled in with the most random hilarious stuff and this story just got more and more wild and hysterical. It did actually follow a rough narrative which made it even funnier. Something about a woman living in a big house with a bastard of a husband and she was having an affair with a gardener or groom or something? I don’t often cry actual tears of laughter on here but I bloody did at that one. Fond memories.