Buckle up - it's another CF neighbour thread!

[grincheux]

I'm in the UK. My lovely 70-something parents have a home on a quiet leafy cul-de-sac in a seaside town mostly inhabited by, well, other 70-somethings. They've lived abroad for many many years (away with the Army then settled there) ad have decided to start spending more time in the UK, living in their house whilst here and then eventually coming back permanently. At the moment they're still kind of 50-50 between places. I also rented the house from them for years before they decided to start increasing the amount of time they spent over here, so it was very much my home as well. Though I live up the road now, I still check on my parents house a couple of times a week, take the post in, say hello to the neighbours, that sort of thing.

Last year their next door neighbour (the hermit-y one who we never saw) passed away. The two-bed bungalow next door was sold to a couple from out of town who give the Wormwoods from Matilda a run for their money - and have two teenagers. They have since added a huge extension with windows overlooking my parents' garden - but that's probably the least of our worries at the moment from what my nice neighbours on the other side told me this evening. MNers, please advise...

1. The cul-de-sac has a turning circle at the end. They have adopted this as their own private car park, meaning that cars, deliveries and ambulances can't turn around. They've been spoken to numerous times about it by the neighbours and continue to do it, despite the fact that every house on the street has a three-car driveway and there is ample roadside parking.

1. They have knocked the fence down between theirs and my parents' front garden and piled it up on my parents' front lawn. Their dog now runs through the hedge and uses my parents' front garden as a toilet. also I may have trod in poo earlier and emotions escalated quickly

1. My parents have an apple tree in the front garden which the wife has been quite vocal about letting herself in and helping herself to "for her horses" once it's ready. My mum asked her not to. Nice NDN told her not to. She's still been seen in the garden casing the tree.

1. They had a party a few weeks ago and asked nice NDNs if their friends could park their cars on my parents' driveway. There is ample roadside parking, it's a cul-de-sac with no double yellows. Nice NDNs laughed and thought she was joking... Turns out Mrs Wormwood was serious. Nice NDN said "no, you can't park on their drive, that's someone's house!". Mrs Wormwood's response was "yeah but they're not there. Can we use your driveway instead then?"

1. They don't have planning permission for the extension they've built which has turned a two-bed bungalow into a four-bed house with a yoga studio yes yes I know, please stay with me, I promise this is all real and new windows which overlook my parents' garden and directly into the master bedroom. We called the council when it was first put up but nothing was done about it.

I don't think IABU to think they can't carry on like this... but WWYD?!

Can I nominate your DP for a BAFTA for that outstanding performance, OP?

Cheeky bloody dog, stealing your snake.

OFFICIAL VOTE FOR CLASSICS!!

This is too funny. I just woke my husband up laughing at the bit about the snake and I don’t even feel slightly bad 😂

Brilliant update! Well done to your DP

OP I've just seen your update and I've spat my coffee out laughing 😂😂 that is AWESOME and your DP is due an Oscar!! And of course I would never suggest searching eBay for, say, a packet of plastic spiders which you could strategically form into a nest-like arrangement in the tree with some cotton wool...

@VelociraptorRex I actually have plastic spiders and cobweb in a box of Halloween decorations in the loft... another marvellous idea!

I can go to sleep reassured that life is improving but we still need to fix the dog issue.
Motion sensor water sprayer?
Do such things exist?

This has given me another idea. Does anyone know where I can get a tennis ball launcher and a million plastic locusts?

@weenurse they do - and for a morning I also had one in my possession... but they require the hose to be on all. the. time. which seemed a bit much, I'm a terrible person but I don't want to go as far as leaving my parents out of pocket with a massive water bill. Back to the drawing board.

Good luck 💐

Look at dog ball launchers, a lot less pricey than human ones! And you get get them with motion sensors..

Just sayin'.

Can we put requests in for this to go in forum gold? I’m still laughing

@grincheux glad I could help

I think some of it is cheeky, but I'm not sure why your ndn would laugh at asking to park on an unused drive? If I was away or in but not going out I wouldn't mind about neighbours parking on my drive/blocking me in for a party? Also if your parents aren't there 50 percent of the time I'm sure the neighbors just didn't get why she wasn't allowed apples? Trees have so many apples and it's basically saying you'd rather they drop to the floor and rot than give her any? (Sorry if it's a small tiny tree but usually a apple tree has more apples than a 70 year old couple who live in another country half the time could handle.) The fence rubbish is bad, and surely the extension must be legal if you complained to the council and they did nothing?

From their point of view it would be...
Hello Mumsnet my neighbor lives 50/50 here and abroad but is already causing us problems, they have complained to the council about my extension, not let my park on their drive for one party when they were in another country and not let me have any apples from their tree even though there is no way they are going to eat them all.

Hiya @mumofone, they were asked not to take apples because as explained earlier in the thread, the apples do get used not only by my parents but the rest of the family and other people that my parents actually want their apples (from their tree... on their land) to go to. The nice ndns laughed at the request to park on my parents' drive because the Wormwoods didn't actually ask my parents, just sort of told the other neighbours that that's what they planned to do. If we got on with them we'd be happy for them to park on the drive for an evening, but the way they behave otherwise suggests that it's only set precedent and they'd come to assume they could park there any time, and getting them to bugger off when my parents arrive (sometimes in the middle of the night) or I need to get on the drive to do something at the house would be more hassle than I can be arsed with. If they caused any damage while parking on it as it's narrow, that'd just complicate things even further.

Some people don't seem to understand that others just don't want them on their property.

Just imagine - if the tree was in the back garden do you think they'd let themselves in and help themselves? Probably not. So what's the difference just because it's in the front garden?

Apples don't grow on trees in May though, it's several months too early.

OP I've just seen your update and I've spat my coffee out laughing

Really?? Do people actually do this??

@Redglitter yes they do - I've now put my dressing gown in the wash. I happened to be reading and drinking at the same one and laughed, never a good idea.

*time - not one.

Only just seen this thread OP and I’m in absolute stitches at the whole snake thing! You and your DP are brilliant!

@Owlish - yes, another astute poster mentioned that too. The Wormwoods still go in for a gander "to see if it's ready", according to the nice ndns who do all but hose them out.

Any luck with the tennis ball launcher?

Not for £1189.95, @weenurse 😑

Any luck with the council and the Wormwoods not-applied-for extension?