Buckle up - it's another CF neighbour thread!

[grincheux]

I'm in the UK. My lovely 70-something parents have a home on a quiet leafy cul-de-sac in a seaside town mostly inhabited by, well, other 70-somethings. They've lived abroad for many many years (away with the Army then settled there) ad have decided to start spending more time in the UK, living in their house whilst here and then eventually coming back permanently. At the moment they're still kind of 50-50 between places. I also rented the house from them for years before they decided to start increasing the amount of time they spent over here, so it was very much my home as well. Though I live up the road now, I still check on my parents house a couple of times a week, take the post in, say hello to the neighbours, that sort of thing.

Last year their next door neighbour (the hermit-y one who we never saw) passed away. The two-bed bungalow next door was sold to a couple from out of town who give the Wormwoods from Matilda a run for their money - and have two teenagers. They have since added a huge extension with windows overlooking my parents' garden - but that's probably the least of our worries at the moment from what my nice neighbours on the other side told me this evening. MNers, please advise...

1. The cul-de-sac has a turning circle at the end. They have adopted this as their own private car park, meaning that cars, deliveries and ambulances can't turn around. They've been spoken to numerous times about it by the neighbours and continue to do it, despite the fact that every house on the street has a three-car driveway and there is ample roadside parking.

1. They have knocked the fence down between theirs and my parents' front garden and piled it up on my parents' front lawn. Their dog now runs through the hedge and uses my parents' front garden as a toilet. also I may have trod in poo earlier and emotions escalated quickly

1. My parents have an apple tree in the front garden which the wife has been quite vocal about letting herself in and helping herself to "for her horses" once it's ready. My mum asked her not to. Nice NDN told her not to. She's still been seen in the garden casing the tree.

1. They had a party a few weeks ago and asked nice NDNs if their friends could park their cars on my parents' driveway. There is ample roadside parking, it's a cul-de-sac with no double yellows. Nice NDNs laughed and thought she was joking... Turns out Mrs Wormwood was serious. Nice NDN said "no, you can't park on their drive, that's someone's house!". Mrs Wormwood's response was "yeah but they're not there. Can we use your driveway instead then?"

1. They don't have planning permission for the extension they've built which has turned a two-bed bungalow into a four-bed house with a yoga studio yes yes I know, please stay with me, I promise this is all real and new windows which overlook my parents' garden and directly into the master bedroom. We called the council when it was first put up but nothing was done about it.

I don't think IABU to think they can't carry on like this... but WWYD?!

Blah, that'd be nice 🙄 the council reckon it's all ok... but I've since noticed they've extended the garage into the house and are living in that, too. It looks like a shanty town.

I’d contact your councillor.

Surely even if the sprinkler hose is on all the time, it only charged for water used if activated?

ToWantToSleep, you would be at much greater risk of some part of the connections failing and then disastrous leak! Might be worth it if you know all your pipes are newish and strong with really good seals, otherwise not so much.

Good point that it’s fine if you’re there and would notice but not if you flood the garden for 3 days.

Another vote for Classics.

I wish i knew where you lived. I'd pretend to be their new neighbour. Start my introduction with Hello im (insert name hear) im your new neighbour. Now have you accepted the lord god as our saviour? Then at 2 am hold a naked pagan rites in the garden under said apple tree. Then I would play Cliff Richard all day and Black Sabbath all night . I also would start a beginners trumpet class in the garden. Culminating after hours of bad playing in the striptease music on a loop while i do a strip in the garden (I'm a size 24 so imagine the visuals their) when their yoga starts id play Belgian nosebleed hardcore to fuck up the rythem. Im a nasty bitch sometimes. I really hope you sort these cunts out OP. Good luck.

OP Long term if your DPs are abroad for six months, could they not rent out to someone who would keep an eye on it for them for six months? Or is that just too much hassle?

1189.95 is a bit steep.
We have a person in the next street who leaves clear bottles of water on his lawn. Not sue why, but I have noticed that our dog refuses to pee or poo there. (Even though she seems to pee on every other blade of grass as we walk.)

I was going back through some old threads and this one came up - I am wondering how the Wormwoods are @grincheux? Any more escapades with snakes or other slithery creatures?

Did you manage to locate a 1000 locusts??

My parents arrived on Tuesday for the summer! It's great to have them home. They'll be able to keep watch their house for the next few months now and now her watch is ended

The Wormwoods have invited everyone in the street round for "their parties, WE HAVE SO MANY FABULOUS PARTIES"... and no one has taken them up on it. They've also laid a sheet of corrugated metal over the gutters of the back of the house and the garage to make another weird living space. It looks like a shanty town. They've finished their "driveway" (digging up the front garden and covering it in sand) so they're not obstructing the road any more, which is a result.

We went round there the other night as Mr Wormwood was doing something with a mini-mix out the front. Whatever it was stank of burning hair. So yes, for all looking for an update, they're still fucking oddies.

Thank you! I'd say you're delighted to have your folks back!

I have no advice but I open every "neighbour from hell" and "school mum from hell" thread, secretly fearing it's about me.

chicken wire fence not so expensive but does the job than grow something on it - roses or holly for instance
report them to planning

@silvercuckoo Fret not, unless you let your dog shit on your neighbours' lawns, see nothing wrong with helping yourself to the contents of their gardens without permission, or invite yourself to your neighbour's home abroad for the winter (hot off the press this one - my mum ran out of ways to say no and ended up closing the door on Mrs W earlier this evening).

Whoah. "Well you're here, so can we just get the keys and we'll go stay there" type thing?

"Oh you're here! When are you heading back? I went to (insert country) when I was a dancer on the ships and know how much I love it, what a DREAM. We'll pay for our flights. Let's swap. No really, let's swap. It's ok, let's swap! We'll live in your--" slam

W. T. F.

Report the extension to Planning. Even tho it's their fence I'd put one up as they obv won't. Can you define the boundary at the front more somehow: with big plant pots, rocks or a half wall + trellis or half fence (then grow some clematis up it)