Buckle up - it's another CF neighbour thread!

[grincheux]

I'm in the UK. My lovely 70-something parents have a home on a quiet leafy cul-de-sac in a seaside town mostly inhabited by, well, other 70-somethings. They've lived abroad for many many years (away with the Army then settled there) ad have decided to start spending more time in the UK, living in their house whilst here and then eventually coming back permanently. At the moment they're still kind of 50-50 between places. I also rented the house from them for years before they decided to start increasing the amount of time they spent over here, so it was very much my home as well. Though I live up the road now, I still check on my parents house a couple of times a week, take the post in, say hello to the neighbours, that sort of thing.

Last year their next door neighbour (the hermit-y one who we never saw) passed away. The two-bed bungalow next door was sold to a couple from out of town who give the Wormwoods from Matilda a run for their money - and have two teenagers. They have since added a huge extension with windows overlooking my parents' garden - but that's probably the least of our worries at the moment from what my nice neighbours on the other side told me this evening. MNers, please advise...

1. The cul-de-sac has a turning circle at the end. They have adopted this as their own private car park, meaning that cars, deliveries and ambulances can't turn around. They've been spoken to numerous times about it by the neighbours and continue to do it, despite the fact that every house on the street has a three-car driveway and there is ample roadside parking.

1. They have knocked the fence down between theirs and my parents' front garden and piled it up on my parents' front lawn. Their dog now runs through the hedge and uses my parents' front garden as a toilet. also I may have trod in poo earlier and emotions escalated quickly

1. My parents have an apple tree in the front garden which the wife has been quite vocal about letting herself in and helping herself to "for her horses" once it's ready. My mum asked her not to. Nice NDN told her not to. She's still been seen in the garden casing the tree.

1. They had a party a few weeks ago and asked nice NDNs if their friends could park their cars on my parents' driveway. There is ample roadside parking, it's a cul-de-sac with no double yellows. Nice NDNs laughed and thought she was joking... Turns out Mrs Wormwood was serious. Nice NDN said "no, you can't park on their drive, that's someone's house!". Mrs Wormwood's response was "yeah but they're not there. Can we use your driveway instead then?"

1. They don't have planning permission for the extension they've built which has turned a two-bed bungalow into a four-bed house with a yoga studio yes yes I know, please stay with me, I promise this is all real and new windows which overlook my parents' garden and directly into the master bedroom. We called the council when it was first put up but nothing was done about it.

I don't think IABU to think they can't carry on like this... but WWYD?!

If you need woo, then surely you remember Mad Aunt Maud, whose ashes are buried under the apple tree? You know, she used to get really angry with scrumpers, didn't she?

Report them to the council.

Return dog shit.

Leave nails on the drive 'oh I'm sorry you have a punctured tyre'.

Lockable gate.

Put a shed load of garden gnomes in the front garden all looking at their house. Same in the back. Freak them out. Leave weird music playing coming from the house....

On a serious note the extension may be allowed under permitted development but it will still need regs.

Also have you got any local friends or relatives to park on the drive and let themselves in and out so they don't know what the hell is going on?

If it is so concerning surely it is worth the expense for peace of mind... replace the fence within your boundary, purchase cheap broadband, then get on to the council.

Deffo get a fence put up asap and I would have suggested the sprinkler if it hadn't been suggested several times.

I can't recommend landmines around the apple tree strongly enough.

You might also want to get CCTV for the front garden. If the fence is theirs pile it on their lawn and perhaps put a separate boundary on your parents side to prevent them roaming in.

What will happen to the apples if no one is living there? Does it really matter if the neighbours take them if no one is around to pick them? Does it matter if people park on the drive? I don't mind my neighbours using our drive when I'm on holiday.

YANBU about the fence and the extension sounds annoying. I think we need a diagram of the extension

Your parents can erect a fence up on their land next to the boundary owned by the CFs.

Put the (degraded rubbish) fence back on their property since the rubbish is their property to dispose of.

Put a lockable postbox on edge of property which postie can access without using footpath gate; and lock the sodding footpath gate.

I am utterly baffled why your council isn't interested in the illegal extension. Has someone visited the council offices to insist on speaking to a person, F2F, about it?

Chuck the dog mess back on their property. And I do mean chuck

Poison the apples (just joking)

ps: I have to admit, I wouldn't care about apple scrumping. My neighbours let apples rot all over their front garden every year. Drives me crazy so much waste.

@BrightYellowDaffodil 😂😂 I actually laughed out loud at that

How will you convince them the house is haunted? I think you need a thread for that alone.

Maybe you and the nice neighbours could pretend your parents passed away ages ago so that all those times the Wormwoods thought they saw your parents they were actually seeing ghosts.

Or claim that you moved out and your parents stay away so much because of the awful haunting, which also drove away the Wormwood's property's previous owners.

Secretly move random items around outside their house after casually dropping into conversation about how the haunting started with your things being moved mysteriously.

All the above. I also look after my mums house - as she's had a stroke and no longer living at home (it's up for sale). It's a huge responsibility to look after someone else's house. Are your parents in good health? If they are then personally I would say this is their responsibility to come home and resolve the issues (or at least get the neighbours respecting their property). This is a lot for you to take Ona day sounds like you need some help to tackle this head on.

Thank you for your replies so far! The fence is actually theirs and is completely rotten, it's a pile of mushy slats under said apple tree at the moment. I'm loathed to pay for something they've done to their own fence IFKWIM.

A cost worth bearing surely? Or else plant a very prickly Rosa rugosa or some other prickly border plant to stop them stepping over the border but I vote for the 6ft fence and lockable gate and constantly contacting the council about them parking on the turning circle, because seemingly putting glass/nails down would be unacceptable, but not unreasonable imo, under the circumstances!

I have a friend whos MIL mentioned to a neighbor that she was thinking about selling. Neighbor said he wanted to buy the house and to let him know.
She came home from a weekend away last summer to discover he had cut down and pulled up the mature hedge between their yards, its now one big open space with 2 houses on it. She complained and his response was that it needed trimmed but as he was going to buy her house and he didnt want to pay the guys to come back later, hed just have it all done at once.
The MIL decided to renovate instead of moving, the neighbor came round and told her not to as it would put the price of the house up and he didnt want to pay that. When the poor old dear insisted that she was going to he got shirty and insisted that he got to pick the new kitchen, carpets etc and decide what needed doing.
Poor old dear is traumatized and my mate is pissed

theoldtrout01876 this hedgehog fucker needs a thread of his own.

@oldtrout wtaf??????

Definitely sealed 6ft fence all around with post box at the end.
Let the neighbours complain about the turning circle.

Put your own fence up inside your own boundary. Frustrating to have to pay for but sounds like it's worth it. Lock the gates, set up a post redirect to you for all mail and leave a key with nice NDNjust in case. Check the extension isn't allowed within permitted development and contact the council.

Landmines round the apple tree sounds legit. The problem with the apple nicking is that said apples get picked by my DF, some cooked up and frozen, some donated to a charity cafe in town, and some given to the nice neighbours as thanks for keeping an eye on everything... Not fed to Woo Wormwood's imaginary horses. There is CCTV in the front and back so everything's recorded, we just can't see it in real time. The suggestion of a cheap broadband arrangement is a good one, I'll float it with my parents. We're in an out of the place looking after it so having them tell their friends they can park on the drive isn't really a thing, it also feels a bit weird. I'll be going back there tomorrow and I have a feeling I'm going to have an attack of the fumbles and throw drop an empty gin bottle on the drive and be too upset to sweep it up. Fuck, as if I'm genuinely planning on booby-trapping my parents house...

I had something similar with my NDN. They kept parking their numerous cars across my driveway as there was no fence between their drive and mine.
I got fed up of opening my kitchen blind every morning to find their car parked under my window and blocking my path.
I forked out for a fence. It was only four foot high, so didn't block my light, but it did mean that they would have had to crash through the fence if they wanted to park as usual.
Get a fence, gates on the drive, whatever. Otherwise they will just keep taking the piss, and your DPs apples.

agree old trout this is completely new ball of wax and deserves thread of own what a cheek I hope the house owner is telling him to get lost and replace the hedge. I suspect it’s tresspass and damage to property as a minimum - very upsetting

Anyway re OP you can check local council site for planning applications and bear in mind any extension up for a year and not challenged within that time can be protected by indemnity insurance

I do agree with other posters re erecting a fence within the boundary (I’d be minded to get it tagged to your parents address too) to avoid the neighbours taking ownership of it lock it install a sensor light with activity linked to a camera or one of those camera bells where you can’t shout out “what do you think your doing” I’d do that quick smart as if this is the behaviour now while in the “honeymoon period” I can only imagine it once “feet are under the table”.. I’d check the back too in case any boundary has been tampered with . How awful for you and your parents

@grincheux Empty a whole entire bag of nails allll over the drive

With regards to the extension, even if it allowed under permitted development, there are still very strict rules about windows and overlooking neighbouring properties.

I know it's a financial outlay, but, as previous posters have said, you really need to replace the fence, preferably just inside the boundary.

Keep both gated locked and finally, chuck their rotten fence back into their front garden.