Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Buckle up - it's another CF neighbour thread!

244 replies

grincheux · 25/04/2019 22:00

I'm in the UK. My lovely 70-something parents have a home on a quiet leafy cul-de-sac in a seaside town mostly inhabited by, well, other 70-somethings. They've lived abroad for many many years (away with the Army then settled there) ad have decided to start spending more time in the UK, living in their house whilst here and then eventually coming back permanently. At the moment they're still kind of 50-50 between places. I also rented the house from them for years before they decided to start increasing the amount of time they spent over here, so it was very much my home as well. Though I live up the road now, I still check on my parents house a couple of times a week, take the post in, say hello to the neighbours, that sort of thing.

Last year their next door neighbour (the hermit-y one who we never saw) passed away. The two-bed bungalow next door was sold to a couple from out of town who give the Wormwoods from Matilda a run for their money - and have two teenagers. They have since added a huge extension with windows overlooking my parents' garden - but that's probably the least of our worries at the moment from what my nice neighbours on the other side told me this evening. MNers, please advise...

  1. The cul-de-sac has a turning circle at the end. They have adopted this as their own private car park, meaning that cars, deliveries and ambulances can't turn around. They've been spoken to numerous times about it by the neighbours and continue to do it, despite the fact that every house on the street has a three-car driveway and there is ample roadside parking.
  1. They have knocked the fence down between theirs and my parents' front garden and piled it up on my parents' front lawn. Their dog now runs through the hedge and uses my parents' front garden as a toilet. also I may have trod in poo earlier and emotions escalated quickly
  1. My parents have an apple tree in the front garden which the wife has been quite vocal about letting herself in and helping herself to "for her horses" once it's ready. My mum asked her not to. Nice NDN told her not to. She's still been seen in the garden casing the tree.
  1. They had a party a few weeks ago and asked nice NDNs if their friends could park their cars on my parents' driveway. There is ample roadside parking, it's a cul-de-sac with no double yellows. Nice NDNs laughed and thought she was joking... Turns out Mrs Wormwood was serious. Nice NDN said "no, you can't park on their drive, that's someone's house!". Mrs Wormwood's response was "yeah but they're not there. Can we use your driveway instead then?"
  1. They don't have planning permission for the extension they've built which has turned a two-bed bungalow into a four-bed house with a yoga studio yes yes I know, please stay with me, I promise this is all real and new windows which overlook my parents' garden and directly into the master bedroom. We called the council when it was first put up but nothing was done about it.

I don't think IABU to think they can't carry on like this... but WWYD?!

OP posts:
AvocadosBeforeMortgages · 26/04/2019 22:46

Re the dog shite, pick it up using one of those tennis ball throwers dog walkers often have (can sometimes be found in Poundland). Then fling it back into their garden, hopefully hitting the windows of their illegal extension. Perhaps practice a couple of times first with a tennis ball - there's a knack to it (it's all in the flick of the wrist)

This means you don't have to touch the dog poo before returning it to sender - in fact you don't even have to bend down far.

grincheux · 26/04/2019 23:46

@AvocadosBeforeMortgages I like your style. Sadly I have made a report to the local dog warden who will probably make them clean it up themselves. I may claim that the lawn is allergic to latex so they'll have to do it with their bare hands but I'm not sure it'll wash.

Annoying as I've not yet set up the screaming squirty tree and think I'd get extra points for the dog warden as well as the Wormwoods.

OP posts:
Weenurse · 27/04/2019 00:30

Picture of screaming squirty tree once complete please 😂

Hoggytat · 27/04/2019 08:35

I guffawed at your thread OP and disturbed my DS playing Fortnite. He insisted I explain, laughed out loud and said you need to use beetroot juice for your sprinkler. Grin

Jamiefraserskilt · 27/04/2019 08:59

Can you stalk and work out when the yoga room is used, then set up a full 90 minutes of thrash metal to play on a loop via timers? Shed fos is a great idea. Remind them that you have cctv, have spoken to them about trespassing before so now will not hesitate to report them to the police. Each and every time. Oh and pile that old fence and any dogshit on their side as otherwise it is not only trespass but fly tipping.

Jamiefraserskilt · 27/04/2019 09:06

Oh yes, the unshiftable beetroot juice. Makes convincing blood.
A cardboard cut out aunt Maud with a light behind her coming on behind the net curtains...
You can also get tv simulators really cheaply that simulate the light from a tv with flickers and everything. Plug them in and off they go. About 6 quid. Would freak them out to think someone is there but they don't see them. Also say hello every time you go through the door.

LakieLady · 27/04/2019 09:07

I'm liking that dog, Schaden!

Beautiful dog! It looks a bit cuddly though. I'd be minded to go for one of these:

www.vetstreet.com/dogs/black-russian-terrier#0_s04wfek8

An acquaintance who breeds, trains and competes in Schutzhund with working German Shepherds was thinking about getting one, but went she went to see some breeders, she decided they were a bit too fierce for her liking. And they have the advantage of looking like a giant schnauzer to anyone who's not a dog enthusiast.

I think it's the only dog breed I'd think twice about approaching (although I'm a bit iffy about Komondors - only ever met 2, and they both tried to bite me!).

LakieLady · 27/04/2019 09:17

Is the yoga room for running a business? That's worth reporting.

Oooh yes. Remember the CF dog groomer neighbour thread? That didn't end well for the CF. Grin

ProfYaffle · 27/04/2019 09:28

Your tree needs to channel Pheonix Nights

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 27/04/2019 09:36

Has anyone suggested a Ring security system? You can monitor in real time remotely from your own WiFi, wherever you are.

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 27/04/2019 09:52

I think a set of motion sensitive security lights is the way to go here to deter night time scrumping.

Also an app to remotely turn on a sound system, used in conjunction with your Ring system with which you will be monitoring their movements. Pretty sure we could come up with a playlist. I think a hefty burst of the Hallelujah chorus would do nicely for starters.

Weenurse · 27/04/2019 09:54

I like the beetroot juice idea

Heaviestdirtyestsoul · 27/04/2019 10:02

I wholeheartedly support the mackerel fillet brine idea... this is genius!

EleanorReally · 27/04/2019 10:17
Bear
TheNorthWestPawsage · 27/04/2019 10:22

Has anybody suggested...... penguin bollards for the driveway parking issue?

Maybe they could be Maude's pet zombie penguins?

Chloemol · 27/04/2019 10:32

If the fence is theirs knock on the door and ask them to remove it and ask if they are going to put another one up. If they say no then your parents can, add gates and lock them so they have no access. If they do not have planning permission then report them to your enforcement team at your council who are obliged to them review and take action. Re the parking, just park your car there instead for a while

grincheux · 27/04/2019 10:33

Thank you everyone for your suggestions! I should clarify just how C these F'in people are: there is already a PIR security light, gates, and CCTV at the house. The embuggerance lies in the fact that there's no wifi so we can't stream the CCTV also I don't know how to get the footage off the box because funny old thing, I never saw this nonsense coming

OP posts:
VeraWangTwang · 27/04/2019 10:36

Wow, just wow, who the fuck do these people think they are?

Dropitlikeitshot · 27/04/2019 10:47

I’m not even ashamed to say I’m place marking. I want to see this adder!

MadSweeney · 27/04/2019 11:00

The wildlife cam linked above is expensive at £50. I bought one a few weeks ago at £35, it's now £38 but it's exactly the same.

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B07GGX525C/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?psc=1&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8

They are really good actually, captured our resident Hedgehog perfectly at night.

DameFanny · 27/04/2019 11:28

Sorry, we can't have a wildlife camera installation without linking to this thread...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/770463-Just-caught-DH-on-hedgehog-camera-Please-help

AdobeWanKenobi · 27/04/2019 11:36

Fucking hell 😂😂

grincheux · 27/04/2019 11:42

STOP PRESS! What the fuck is this?! Hold my coffee and fetch my credit card.

rover.ebay.com/rover/0/0/0?mpre=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebay.co.uk%2Fulk%2Fitm%2F162649035229

OP posts:
MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 27/04/2019 11:51
Grin
StCharlotte · 27/04/2019 14:19

DameFanny Thank you for the hedgehog thread!