Buckle up - it's another CF neighbour thread!

[grincheux]

I'm in the UK. My lovely 70-something parents have a home on a quiet leafy cul-de-sac in a seaside town mostly inhabited by, well, other 70-somethings. They've lived abroad for many many years (away with the Army then settled there) ad have decided to start spending more time in the UK, living in their house whilst here and then eventually coming back permanently. At the moment they're still kind of 50-50 between places. I also rented the house from them for years before they decided to start increasing the amount of time they spent over here, so it was very much my home as well. Though I live up the road now, I still check on my parents house a couple of times a week, take the post in, say hello to the neighbours, that sort of thing.

Last year their next door neighbour (the hermit-y one who we never saw) passed away. The two-bed bungalow next door was sold to a couple from out of town who give the Wormwoods from Matilda a run for their money - and have two teenagers. They have since added a huge extension with windows overlooking my parents' garden - but that's probably the least of our worries at the moment from what my nice neighbours on the other side told me this evening. MNers, please advise...

1. The cul-de-sac has a turning circle at the end. They have adopted this as their own private car park, meaning that cars, deliveries and ambulances can't turn around. They've been spoken to numerous times about it by the neighbours and continue to do it, despite the fact that every house on the street has a three-car driveway and there is ample roadside parking.

1. They have knocked the fence down between theirs and my parents' front garden and piled it up on my parents' front lawn. Their dog now runs through the hedge and uses my parents' front garden as a toilet. also I may have trod in poo earlier and emotions escalated quickly

1. My parents have an apple tree in the front garden which the wife has been quite vocal about letting herself in and helping herself to "for her horses" once it's ready. My mum asked her not to. Nice NDN told her not to. She's still been seen in the garden casing the tree.

1. They had a party a few weeks ago and asked nice NDNs if their friends could park their cars on my parents' driveway. There is ample roadside parking, it's a cul-de-sac with no double yellows. Nice NDNs laughed and thought she was joking... Turns out Mrs Wormwood was serious. Nice NDN said "no, you can't park on their drive, that's someone's house!". Mrs Wormwood's response was "yeah but they're not there. Can we use your driveway instead then?"

1. They don't have planning permission for the extension they've built which has turned a two-bed bungalow into a four-bed house with a yoga studio yes yes I know, please stay with me, I promise this is all real and new windows which overlook my parents' garden and directly into the master bedroom. We called the council when it was first put up but nothing was done about it.

I don't think IABU to think they can't carry on like this... but WWYD?!

jessicawessica 😂 nothing I hope !
Friends with both sides but they both rented and landlords decided to sell up (think because of the threat of brexit ) Neither wanted to move , sadly .
Ones just round the corner now so we can still get together but other side is really struggling to find somewhere local
Lots of places up for sale round here which is weird as it’s a popular area

I'm loving the Aunt Maud suggestions!

In seriousness I'd echo PP. Get a fence high enough that they can't climb over easily to fence in the garden (and that tree!). Report the extention to the council every monday at 9am until they take notice, you need to make a massive pain of yourself to be heard. Get a secure post box outside the gate and lock those gates so they can't get in! LOCK ALL THE THINGS! The absolute fuckers.

Fence is go - we're measuring up today! Luckily the old concrete posts look like they might still be in tact so we can just slide new panels in. That should stop the dog. I've been onto the council this morning about yellow lines in the turning space and about the extension (which still isn't actually finished).

If the fence is NDN’s responsibility, the concrete posts presumably belong to NDNs which presumably means that sliding your own fence into them is effectively ‘trespassing’ which might mean NDNs will simply take out your fence panels and dispose of them (onto your garden).

A safer (but admittedly a bit ridiculous) solution is to put up your own posts and panels just inside your property.

Definitely get your own posts. Usually easiest half way between the two already there, but on your land.

Good thinking. New fence and posts it is, and a padlock for the driveway. This is all such a shame as these people have no understanding of boundaries or when people tell them "no", they seem to carry on regardless.

Meanwhile... What squirts cold water and screams when you go within ten feet of it?

That's right - an apple tree fitted with motion activated sprinklers and voice memo players. The technology that allows stately homes to tell visitors aloud to "keep off the grass" is now readily available to the public on Amazon. Just the tree won't tell people to keep off the grass. It'll scream hysterically for maximum impact.

Bloody fantastic ! Let's hope it stops them

Bloody awesome.

Where is this as I want to get screamed at by a tree 😂

I'm fucking dying at these suggestions (and your ability to keep your sense of humour OP)

Cheeky bastards. Bet she won't fancy feeding apples to her horse when she's piss wet through and probably pissed herself when the speakers yell at her!

If you want to keep the dog away I can recommend this baby - we have it to deter foxes and its brutal

www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B0153BJ7NQ/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=B0153BJ7NQ&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&ie=UTF8&creative=6738&camp=1634

Ask your parents to rent the house out weekly on air B and B, but only for musicians who require a whole home to practice in 😂

I’ll rent it along with my saxophone, ds1 and his guitar and ds2 and his drum kit!!

Oh and that’s an electric guitar...:

Oh I love that! A screaming sprinkling tree! Brilliant

Those CFs are going to get such a shock! Please do the tree thing before the new fence, so they have better opportunity to activate the tree!

Does it detect dogs too?

I meant to add, PLEASE PLEASE put the video of her having the shit scared out of her on YouTube and post a link - that would make my year!

You could apply for the channel 5 programmes neighbours from hell , love that show !

In all honestly though everyone's pretty much said what you can do ! Good luck with it all , can't imagine what it's like that would make me want to move

Get the local farmer to cover their lawn and cars in slurry

Hire a Witch, in full ceremonial garb, to bless the property.

10/10 for creativity OP. Your genius has cheered me up immensely after a really bad day! Please please put up the cctv recording of her being soaked by the talking tree.

Can anyone recommend an indoor camera/monitor which doesn't rely on wifi and saves to internal storage?

Dump the fence- it's fly-tipped rubbish (photograph it so that there is proof that it was rotten)

Put up your own fence - make sure it's just within your property line.

Contact the council and report them for building an extension without planning permission. Part of the application for planning permission involves informing neighbours so that any objections could be heard by the council.

If their dog uses your garden for a toilet - pick it up and put it through their letterbox with a note. (Or smear it on the handles of their obstructively parked cars).

Get a security camera and then you will know if she is taking any fruit for her horses - prosecute her.

Get a yellow line on the turning circle. if they continue to park there, report them every single time

Put a fence up, motion sensor sprinkler near the tree, cheapest broadband you can find so you can stream the CCTV (less than £10 a month). Definitely follow up about the planning with the council.

Also what Jack has said. (above) re sprinkler (though bear in mind that leaving water on when you are away for any length of time can cause problems if there is a leak)

Sorry - I see you already have the situation in hand - I hadn't realised that there was mioe than one page.

"Doh!"

I want to go and pick an apple just to see what happens OP

“If their dog uses your garden for a toilet - pick it up and put it through their letterbox with a note”.

Are you sure the dog will fit?

Empty a whole entire bag of nails allll over the drive

Caltrops are what you need

www.northwestfirearms.com/threads/quick-and-dirty-caltrops.230639/