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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not to visit my dying sister or go to her funeral?

264 replies

Cruelstepmother · 24/04/2019 17:59

She has cancer, will prob live a couple more weeks/months, lives about 6 hours drive away. She's surrounded by other family members, I don't want to watch her dying and my DH has heart failure, is very frail and needs my help. She hasn't asked to see me, but we're very close and love each other more than our other sisters.

OP posts:
Alicewond · 19/05/2019 03:33

Why wouldn’t you visit, surely above all other considerations she wants to see you

Whoops75 · 19/05/2019 04:07

ddl1 & Alicewond RTFT before you post especially on such an emotional threadAngry

I’m so glad you went op

I think you were very brave and selflessFlowers

Alicewond · 19/05/2019 04:16

You are correct that this is an emotional thread, the fact that we posted opinions shows that. It’s also a long thread with a response from op only an hour or so before this.

Tavannach · 19/05/2019 04:29

So glad you went.
Flowers

2018SoFarSoGreat · 19/05/2019 07:13

Sounds like a nightmare journey. And one you will never regret. Well done ❤️

ddl1 · 19/05/2019 08:03

I had on;y read the first few pages before. Isee that you went, which must have been lovely for your sister. I am very sorry that you are going through this. Unless others strongly wish it, I think it is reasonable to avoid the funeral if that would make things much worse for you. Very best thoughts!

Nodancingshoes · 19/05/2019 08:36

You should go. I think you will regret it and she needs you. Can you arrange someone to care for your dh whilst you go?

Nodancingshoes · 19/05/2019 08:37

Sorry, just saw that you went xxx

Alsohuman · 19/05/2019 08:41

So sorry it was the nightmare journey from hell and equally glad that you’re pleased you went. 💐

Turpy · 19/05/2019 08:59

Oh dear, what an awful journey. I'm very glad that you are still glad that you went.

SaskiaRembrandt · 19/05/2019 09:36

I'm so glad you went!

JudgeRindersMinder · 19/05/2019 09:43

I haven’t commented before but I have followed your thread.
What an absolute nightmare of a journey for you! However you made the righ,t decision for you, and it’ll have meant such a lot to your sister ...one day I hope you can laugh about your journey!

StillMe1 · 19/05/2019 16:25

@ Cruelstepmother. I think I know the journey you made. If I have got it right that is one hell of a road. It is not just getting on the motorway and driving. People here probably didn't realise the journey you would be making. Well done for going. I am sure that it will have been the best decision.

StillMe1 · 19/05/2019 16:27

@ Cruelstepmother.
Hit the wrong button too soon.
That road is bad enough without a breakdown as well. What a trial to get there.

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