For not wanting to holiday abroad?

[chocolatelog]

Myself and 4 out of 5 of the children haven't been abroad. We don't even have passports.

Dh and the 3 oldest all want to go on holiday this year. Dh has found a holiday for 10 days in Spain and is pressuring me to go but I've got zero interest. My eldest (17) has been with her friends family so she's got the bug and is begging me to go.
A part of me feels like I should go because before long the kids will be older and won't be interested in going with us, but I just can't be bothered with it all. I filled in one passport form and that was enough to make me go 🙈 it took 5 attempts at getting it wrong, so the thought of filling in 5 people's worth is enough to put me into an early grave!

The two youngest are 5 and 2 and I feel like it won't really be an enjoyable experience for me, dh is very hands on with them but I'm a stress head and get into rage pretty quickly 😬

Plus the money for passports and the actual holiday for 7 people makes me think we could use it for better things, we both need a new cat each and I'm thinking I'd rather those than a pissing holiday 🤦🏻‍♀️

I don't know if my attitude to it all is because I've never been abroad, I'm quite happy to spend a week in Cornwall or Dorset or anywhere else that this country has to offer. The thought of flying and watching the kids like a hawk just doesn't appeal to me in the slightest. Is it a case of what you've never had you never miss? Or should I just put my happy face on and agree to going?

@chocolatelog your posting style certainly had changed now with all the "lols" and laughing emojis. I wonder what has brought your spirit up?

no idea why people are being so nasty to OP.

some real numbskull little bullies on here.

@Strugglingtodomybesthe could do the forms. But it's when ever he gets round to it. Which will be never lol

Well there you go then, a simple way of ensuring you don't go AND it's not your fault. Problem solved.

I wasn't always like this. I was going abroad at one point about 9 years ago but the bride to be cancelled. I've only been like this for the last couple of years.

But by your own admission you’ve never been abroad (unless I’ve misunderstood).

I really sympathise with you but I think you’ll become more anxious the older you get and then going abroad will seem even more of a struggle

There is a concept of cultural capital which is something that you’re unknowingly depriving your children of. You say that it’s not the money

I haven't RTFT (I don't care :P ) But why have you never been abroad? Go! broaden yours and your kids horizons fgs!!

I think you should go. It's not that big of a deal to fill in some passport forms and your DH could do half, and it sounds like the kids want to go. You don't want to be the misery guts that spoilt everyone else's fun for no real reason other than you couldn't be bothered going.

I'm a bit confused by this thread as to whether the OP can afford this holiday or not (you need the money for a work van?) Because if you can't then surely that's the answer. And I do find it slightly hard to believe that 5 children all refuse to do anything except sit by the pool...are they not interested in anything?

Everyone now needs to stop slagging off the OP, she has depression. Yes she should have said so at an earlier point but now we all know can we lay off the name calling and be constructive please

Is there a reason why this couldn't have been the case from the beginning? I see no reason for name calling whether or not an OP or other poster has depression or not.

People have been really nasty and unhelpful on this thread.

@mushroomsandtoadstools how are they missing out exactly? I didn't feel like I'd missed out as a child, I had a happy childhood. Like I said what you don't know you don't miss. I'm happy to just have a weekend away. Half the time the kids don't want to go because they have their own plans and lives.

There is a concept of cultural capital which is something that you’re unknowingly depriving your children of

Hmmm. Not sure sitting around a pool in some concrete resort in Spain is enhancing "cultural capital". Going to Spain and visiting historic cities like Segovia or Toledo, eating local food and maybe doing a language course is enhancing cultural capital. But you can't do that with a 2 year old.

@GreytExpectations I just got some good news 😁😁😁

@BorisBadunov 😂😂

@MuseumofInnocence I'm really not bothered whether I do or not. I'd rather have nice things and never have been abroad than go abroad and have crap things. The price to go on holiday with this lot is eye watering 🙈

I wouldn't go anywhere with a spouse who believed my role in it all was as the family donkey and behaved accordingly, and I say that as someone who doesn't have crippling anxiety, loves self-catering and has holidayed everywhere from a caravan in Skeggy to cruising the Caribbean. THAT, besides your depression and anxiety, is the major issue. It's his way or the highway, and you're there to do all the drudge work whilst he has a good ol' time. That would make the highway sound very appealing to me. I'd rather take a Megabus to Blackpool on my own than go on holiday with someone who felt the way your H does.

no idea why people are being so nasty to OP.

some real numbskull little bullies on here.

Agree, it is shocking and saddening.

I also think if the OP likes walking in the West Country, and the DH's idea of a good time is Las Vegas (wouldn't be my cup of tea at all) then there's going to be little room for compromise and he should really take the older kids and go.

he could do the forms. But it's when ever he gets round to it. Which will be never

That's absolutely fair enough, then, though maybe not on the DCs. All you have to do is ask him to shoulder a fair slice of the planning - which he should be doing anyway - and if he doesn't at least you tried

You'd need to be prepared to step up if he does make an effort though ...

You should go for the sake of the children

And I do find it slightly hard to believe that 5 children all refuse to do anything except sit by the pool...are they not interested in anything?

Make up, music, clothes.

I can bet all my money that they only want the holiday for the Instagram pics 🙄

I'll be a photographer as well as the family's dogs body 🤦🏻‍♀️

Like I said what you don't know you don't miss. I'm happy to just have a weekend away. Half the time the kids don't want to go because they have their own plans and lives.

You should maybe just go for a weekend away sometime to Barcelona or somewhere nearish like that, just to dip your toe in the water a bit. Just to to see if you like it, there's a whole world waiting for you OP

@Fridakahlofan Good for you on not flying - the planet will thank you

OMG did you watch blue planet the other day? This climate thing is scary. At least my non flying is helping a bit.

It makes your children life easier if the first time they go abroad is not when they are 18 and go backpacking for a few months. That's a recipe for disaster.

Alternatively, the idea of them refusing a dream job or lifetime opportunity because they are scared to go somewhere, having never done it before, is just as depressing.

what about catching a ferry to Brittany or something. Its so beautiful there, less crowded than cornwall, and the kids still get to say theyve been abroad