To think this is poor form bordering on a bit cruel? (Child’s birthday cake)

[ElphabaTheGreen]

Just took my DSs (6 & 4) to a school friend’s fifth birthday. This beautiful, huge, professionally-made cake was brought out and all children duly sang happy birthday and marvelled at this kids’ dream of a cake (it was covered in rainbow icing, glitter and actual swirly lollipops, for crying out loud). The cake was then boxed up uncut and taken home at the end of the party by the family - it was not sliced up and distributed to the party guests. There wasn’t even a cheaper cake offered as an alternative. DS1 was fuming and I had a hard time trying to be diplomatic about it and coming up with a reasonable explanation. DS2 was so tanked on Haribo he wasn’t too bothered.

Now, I’m a little bit forrin (Australian) and have always found the piece of cake in a napkin in the party bag a bit odd and British (we just eat the cake at the party in Australia) but this complete cake denial is new. Cruel and new.

AIBU? Or is this just a British cake-withholding custom I have not yet been exposed to?

Shocking behaviour, I used to take the kids to parties to snout some cake myself. I would have been most miffed. Seriously, how hard would it have been to produce a stunt cake or to give it its Latin name Giant Asda Traybake Cakeous

Talk about Broken Britain

I’m with DS1 I’d be fewmin’

Nope, not normal and bloody weird. If it was a fake cake (never heard of this either, but makes sense) I assume it was just for photos, so the proud parents could share and boast on FB. If so, I hope someone calls them out on it. Really mean not to have a real cake to cut up and give the kids!

Now i want cake is twenty to eight to late to be baking you think?

But boasting on fb about a fake cake is like posting a picture of someone elses naked body and saying it's yours.

@QueenofCBA what is a stunt pineapple?!

Definitely weird behaviour, but my DS shares my own childhood feelings about the suitable destiny of those bits of napkin-wrapped cake: straight in the bin when you get home.

YANBU and your writing styled made me laugh!

I have done small fancy cake with candles for blowing out and eating at home later and given out pre wrapped cake traybake in bags. Cake was always taken away in dc's parties round our way.

perhaps they forgot the knife!?

It’s weird but a six year old fuming over it sounds a bit much. I also don’t think it falls into the definition of cruel.

Maybe it was a fake cake but odd all the same. Maybe they’ll cut it up and distribute it later. At school perhaps, mind you that won’t work either will it wouldn’t be allowed.
Well people are odd sometimes.

My niece’s birthday cakes never used to get cut up either. My DB and SIL would spend £50 on a cake, blow out the candles and take it away. There would be a little fairy cake in the party bag instead. Madness.

dd went to a party where the mother made a fabulous looking cake, gave it away in party bags, as normal, with the proviso that it probably wasnt cooked so not to eat it!
mostly they dont eat it tbh

There's twins in my DD's whose parents do this! Beautiful cakes every year, poor kids have never seen a morsel! Very weird

No point in fake cake though. Could there be a second family party with aunts/ uncles grandparents?

Da fuuuuuuuck??? That's evil.
I only suffer through birthday parties cos I know I'm going to scoff some cake!!
@Nousernameforme pop up Tesco they might have a reduced one at this time of the day!

That is so weird. Do you think there was maybe some sort of mix-up where cake (either that one or a cheaper one) was supposed to be distributed and someone forgot? That sort of happened at my wedding - the caterers took hours cutting the cake and then put it behind a pillar so nobody had any. We had to go around forcing it on people because MIL (who had kindly spent days making and decorating the cake - and it was beautiful and delicious) was really upset when it was discovered, about 20 minutes before the end when everyone was drunk and no one wanted it. If it had been discovered slightly later then people might have gone home saying about our wedding 'how bizarre is that, they displayed that cake and cut it in front of us but then we never actually got any cake!'.

My friend did that at her daughters party. Sang happy birthday round it then took it home. She had to throw loads of it away as she had too much!

Madness.

If it's a fake cake, who are they trying to impress? It's a kid's birthday party not some fancy wedding.

Far rather have something edible even if it's home made and looks a bit rough round the edges.

If there’s no cake then is it even a party?

To those saying they don’t want to miss their child’s party to spend time cutting up cake- that’s what Aunties/Uncles/ Grandparents/Godparents/Older siblings/Parents of other children are for. As soon as the candles are blown out, if you aren’t serving it there and then, adult party helpers form a production line cutting and wrapping the cake and putting it in party bags. As an Auntie i’m always glad for those few minutes of adult calm in the kitchen and the excuse to escape the over-excited hoardes of children!

Well that is very odd!

I'd be sending a text saying

"Just to say thank you for the lovely party. The cake was amazing! Sorry, I missed the instructions for collecting a slice for the DSs. (Actually I think there was confusion with other mums too). What's the plan?

PS The children are very excited to find out what it tastes like!"

“Hey kids, here’s a cake for you all to look at. Now say goodbye to it, you ain’t getting any”

Weird. Very weird.