To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

@Ohyesiam - I know what you meant. Not offensive at all .

Enjoy your Easter off, sleep lots, meal plan and exercise. Can u find a gym with a creche perhaps? And plan to get back to your studies asap?
And try another nursery, just because one didn't work out doesn't mean the next one won't!
Why has it been you and not your husband putting your life on hold?

Poor you OP. You sound sleep deprived and unsupported. Exhaustion can be a big part of weight gain.

I stayed slim size 6/8 through my first two pregnancies and toddlerhood but with my youngest, who is now 6, my weight crept up in his toddler years because he was such a demanding non-sleeper I turned to sugar for comfort. Combatted that when he was 3ish with no sugar and I hardly ever eat breakfast anyway plus upped the exercise on my home exercise bike back then. Over the last year have slipped again working nights and been knackered and gained 5kg. I’m still within healthy BMI range but am an at risk ethnicity for type 2 diabetes and have a slight frame so know this is much too big for me so doing Fast800 right now. Also dog walk and just started 15 min HIIT workouts from YouTube.
Have a look at the BSD/Fast800 threads on here-lots of people doing well on it.

Get smaller plates, smaller portions, what about a park with gym equipment? Most of the local parts supply outdoor equipment.
I don't belive it is a class issue. I am from or wc area, as are my friends I grew with some went on to big things, they believe they're mc now 😊
My point is the majority are a 10-12, by eating well and moving, as long as you can manage these things, you will stay slim.

Very interesting thread, and I do agree about the class thing. However, I work very part time, (DD is 2), am a member of a gym, with a crèche that is nice, and can easily afford to go regularly, but I don’t! I do go swimming there, often a couple of times a week, but with DD, so not proper swimming for me. I’m about 5 stone overweight.

It’s definitely motivation, and emotion for me - I nibble and pick all day at home, particularly if DD is hard work! I will also quite easily binge a whole bag of say, mini eggs, without even sitting down, just popping back and forth to the kitchen when I’m home.

I definitely agree with PP about motherhood being all consuming. I don’t do anything for myself at the moment, but I really need to start.

Sort the sleep problems put first. You are never going to achieve anything if you are dealing with that.
Can you self refer to a sleep clinic? It helped me when mine were little.
Then perhaps start walking in the day. Try and get out for an hour.
Instead of grazing - find something else to do, walk, read a law book, tidy up, phone a friend,
I've always been slimish. I have a high metabolism and I run twice a week at least. I enjoy exercise. If I feel I'm piling the pounds on then I take charge of my diet - I have a cut off point that I know if the scales get to this point sort it now.

I think this is rather unfair. I am what you'd call middle class but so shift work. I make My own lunches. After my first baby I went to weight watchers every week and did home exercise routines from the free Skimble app. I walked EVERYWHERE, Velcro baby would not consider letting me leave his side for ~ 7 months. I went for runs when he was sleeping and my husband was home. I ran with him in the buggy as soon as it was safe. Then I joined the council gym. I now go to Pure Gym (v cheap and 24hrs) and exercise when everyone else is sleeping. None of this was particularly expensive and I could have affordes it when I was much worse off.

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy

When my DS was that age I was struggling to keep up with him on his balance bike without breaking into a run. We walked or rode to the park. We walked to the supermarket and I carried groceries home in a backpack. I cooked fresh food with cheap vegetables, tinned tomatoes and beans or chickpeas, lentils, chicken, mince (still do 10 years later). We had porridge, eggs, or beans on toast for breakfast. I was a single parent on benefits, certainly not middle class.

You don't have to be well off to be thin but it does help because money buys:

• Help with childcare to give you a chance to exercise and not be so permanently knackered that you make bad food choices
• Better food
• Personal trainers/gym membership
• Better clothes/grooming so even over weight they look better
• Surgery when all else fails

You can do it without the above, my SIL lost 4 stone over 3 years after having a baby by cutting out snacks and running for 20 minutes a day and she was SAHM with a partner on minimum wage but it's a lot harder.

Pre children I was thin because I went to the gym, got lunch from places like it’s and heavily restricted calories. Post children, I’m stressed juggling work and childcare, am knackered and eat rubbish. I already have to get up at 5.30 for my commute so there is no way I’m getting up at 4.30 to fit in exercise.

Now I’m on mat leave with a Velcro baby I seem to be living on cereal bars and chocolate. Once the baby is sleeping I want to get the weight off as I know it will be harder once I go back to work. If I was a sahm to school age children I’d be really thin as I’d spend the day doing exercise and preparing good food.

It's not just class but it's about education and lifestyle. Also huge influence from your peer group.
NCT Mummies very unlikely to meet up in McDonalds but will head for organic cafe or picnic.

I do know several overweight doctors though....

I’m middle class but currently on a low income so certainly no nannies! I’m not advocating my diet, it is what it is with two small children and being a SAHM with zero child free time. I’m a size 8-10, pre children was size 8.

I rarely eat breakfast
I eat the same as my kids for lunch
I eat a normal, good sized dinner so if we went out together you might imagine I eat lots all day. It is usually home cooked from scratch with plenty of veg although also eat takeaways 2ish times a month.
I binge eat snacks around my period but avoid at other times.
Drink lots of tea and coffee. If I’m bored I’ll drink rather than eat.
I don’t have a car during the week so walk most places.
I panic if I gain weight and massively reduce my calories until it seems under control! I don’t weigh myself but can tell from my jeans.

What @Racmactac said.

@gamerwidow, your reasons are excuses. Healthy food is cheap. A bag of carrot is 40p. You can do a lot with that. It is easy to cook say a healthy Thai curry, but instead of eating the whole portion, eat half, and put the rest in the freezer so it makes two meals.

Two colleagues couldn't understand why she was overweight when they were eating under 1500 calories. Then it turned out one wasn't counting the one latte she was having every day because it is only one, and the other not the wine she was drinking Friday and Saturday night because it was only a couple of glasses only twice a week. The thing is the 300 calories a day of the extra latte made 1200 more à week as did the wine. That was enough to make the difference long term.

This doesn't mean we can't have treats, but they need to balance against the rest, so either cut down on seething else or increase the exercise. One latter would be a good 1/2 of non stop fast swim (not going down the lane gently with a break every 4 lenghts, or 45 mns run at pace.

Do you have an old loyal friend humpty?
Please don’t let the slim women get to you, they all have their own insecurities, it would not be a world I would like to live in, we are worth so much more than how we look.

Also, even though it is harder with kids, you can work around it if you're determined. I used to pick up my kids one hour later twice a week, they didn't even notice and I would go for a run straight after work. Then another run or cycle at the weekend when their dad look after them.

The thing is people complain they don't have time, but when I mentioned that I went straight after work, people would look at me with wide eyes saying I was mad after a long busy day. The girl who we t at lunch time rather than going to the cafe buying a latter and fatning sandwich also got the 'she's mad' look.

Please don’t let the slim women get to you, they all have their own insecurities
That's very true too. If you want to be slim, do it for yourself not for what others think.

Rich mums can afford childcare while they attend expensive gyms. I’m fat because I can’t afford childcare unless I’m at work earning money to pay for it. And even if I had childcare I couldn’t afford a health club membership.

They’re less tired as well, because they can afford domestic help and childcare, so they’re not exhausted and craving sweet carbs like I am.

Also I think there’s an incentive in knowing you’ll be going on nights out and bikini holidays etc. I can’t afford either so I have less incentive to be thin as I’ll just be sitting at home where nobody notices or cares.

Having the money certainly helps. There would be no need to stress about bills/childcare/cost of things. A haircut and an eyebrow tidy, a gym membership etc would be easy.
But it’s also got to do with how happy you are. If you don’t sleep, get no support from partner, no childcare relief once in a while, if you had to give up your studies etc, it will have a massive impact as well.

If I were you, I’d address the home situation first. Get your OH to pull his weight. Yes, we BOTH deserve ‘me’ time, so him going to the gym and not offering you the same chance is not on.
Food is important, but you don’t always get the chance to cook from scratch. Make it his duty twice a week at least, but don’t plan it and buy the groceries yourself, let him do it.

Take the little one to swimming lessons and make it daddy and son time, you stay at home, to paint your nails or study. My exH NEEDED his sleep(till 11am), I had to pretend DD does so much better with him when it comes to swimming, because he’s the sporty one, not afraid of water etc. That was bull, I’m a far better swimmer than him and DD loved going with me. But, you know, he would see it as a massive favour to me, a huge upheaval to actually get off his arse and take her swimming. So I made him believe he’s so amazing at it that no one else could do it better than him.

This for is full of women kicking themselves for putting their hisband’s careers first. And then they become insufferable, the marriage breaks down and...you know the rest.
Don’t be a martyr. It’s a thankless waste of time.

If i eat out or have takeaway then I will compensate elsewhere, such as skipping breakfast if I'm not hungry the next morning, I don't eat just because of the time. I buy treats that my DS likes but I don't, for example, I like chocolate Carte D'or icecream but I'm not fussed about anything else.

Personally I don't find staying slim hard, I think its because I'm tall tbh and so need more calories. I'm not skinny either although other women sometimes say I am.

I do quite a lot of exercise - I think you can outrun a bad diet in terms of weight but you have to exercise a lot. And then you need to eat a lot to fuel yourself anyway.....

Please don’t let the slim women get to you, they all have their own insecurities
I doubt there is a woman person alive who has no insecurities.
Big or small we only get one life. It is only a shell.
I find if I eat bad, slug around my MH suffers. You do have plenty of time toddlers are hard but they make a great running buddy. I think when my mine grow up, I will be when I put weight on. It is the constant running around keeping me fit.

Obesity most definitely is a socio-economic problem. It’s about the amount of free time a person has to cook healthy meals, education about what is healthy, time to exercise, money to buy the healthy stuff (people with low income and not much time are far more likely to have to reach for processed food) etc etc. Our government has a lot to answer for as these problems can all be resolved with better legislation on food producers, more affordable childcare and more flexible working patterns.

However, it sounds like the OP has a double whammy of difficult and time consuming toddler and selfish husband. Why does he get to go to the gym every evening and not you?

Just one thing though I do never eat takeaways.....

Oh the misconception of the middle class! Can afford childcare and gym. No, many can't and even if they could, don't wa t money on that. For others, it's the opposite, they do pay for it but maybe at the cost of something else that less well off people do put as a priority.

I have seen colleagues who claim they can't afford to go to a gym but then arrive all excited one morning because they got themselves a new car.

As for saying that you can't lose weight without a gym, what an excuse. You can walk and run anywhere and get a bike for next to nothing if not free on free cycle.

Not the point of the thread, but have you followed up on the repeated ear infections as both my DC had major issues when they were young and we pushed for an ENT referral. However, they both then had grommets and were so much better after that - not a single ear infection since then. This might help with the sleep and nursery issues if there is a similar issue here. Hope you get it all sorted. 💐