To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

Blasphemy is only blasphemy on MN if it’s about non-Christian religions.

Acts of terrorism against Christians do not merit threads.
I am agnostic but I can’t help noticing this.

Yes I get it @Gwenhwyfar
It IS hard

I strongly believe it's about what is normal in your social circle, family and workplace as well - the people you are surrounded by every day

I found it impossible to quit smoking until none of my friends smoked anymore

You can change habits but sticking to the new normal for long enough to sustain the change requires quite a lot of willpower

I agree about highly paid women (and men) invariably being slim. I think the mindset required for both is the same (delayed gratification and focus on the long-term goal). That said I am yet to meet one of those mythical people who are slim without any effort. Everyone I meet exercises vigorously and/or makes restrained food choices (which I suppose for some will be natural preference and come easily whilst for others will involve going hungry). Myself I try to exercise regularly but sometimes work gets in the way (very long hours) I generally make good food choices but when my clothes start getting tight I restrict my food intake substantially until they loosen again as far as I can see this is pretty standard for slim people.

) I generally make good food choices but when my clothes start getting tight I restrict my food intake substantially until they loosen again as far as I can see this is pretty standard for slim people.

This is so true. Though I think some don’t have this kind of discipline and ignore the fact clothed are getting tighter and carry on with the same routine

"It's very unusual to find overweight women working in high paid big jobs"

Is that true?

Is it true of men?

I find that a really weird statement. I know myself of highly paid drs and barristers that are overweight, not just 'well covered'.

They have busy active jobs, so are not immobilisingly fat, but very overweight.

Sarah millican is very highly paid, as is Rebel Wilson and many many others

I don't understand this argument really.

Sarah Ferguson?

Clearly there are overweight men and women in all walks of life. It's quite an unhealthy argument really.

I am middle class but poor. I am thin. I think it is more to do with class/education than actual money.

It's very unusual to find overweight women working in high paid big jobs

Observationally I’d say this is true. Certainly in the business world. And it applies to men also, though maybe not to the same extent.

It’s absolutely true in the City/corporate world both for men and women. Many push themselves hard at everything- so work hard/long hours. Exercise hard and have competitive running/cycling/triathlon times and make good food choices. People find the time for this by getting up early (before 06:00) and I never hear discussions about TV in the office so I assume others, like me, watch very little.

I also think there are presumptions made (consciously or subconsciously) about what being overweight indicates, when hiring at a senior level.

I’m not saying this is ‘right’ but it’s definitely there.

everyone I meet exercises vigorously and/or makes restrained food choices

Isn't this how it is actually meant to be physiologically?

Modern convenience and the nature of work (switch from physical to sedentary) has been so rapid that evolutionarily our bodies have not kept up.

Our bodies still process carbohydrates, fats and proteins in the same way as many hundreds, if not thousands, of years ago. We need to eat and be active at that level to maintain normal body weight.

Pondering further I do wonder whether the behaviour of adjusting weight when clothes get tight is more common in professional circles because of the cost of maintaining a corporate wardrobe. I have to make an effort when my clothes stop fitting well as it would cost me thousands to build a new work wardrobe in the next size up.

Maybe yellow. Not the same thing, but a major motivator for me to be currently trying to lose a few pounds is that some protective clothing (made to measure at a cost of hundreds of pounds) I have for an activity is getting a bit tight, I'm about a stone heavier than when I got it a few years ago.

I can just about wear it at the moment, but it is a bit tight to be comfortable and if would fit a lot better if I was 10 pounds lighter.

If it wasn't for that, I think I'd just accept my current weight (BMI about 26 so not necessarily affecting health and daily life).

They severely restrict calorie intake!!!!

All the "posh" but thin women I know, survive on rice cakes and salad and at best eat one proper meal a day. They are exercise enthusiasts too, so play tennis, go to the gym, have personal trainers and they are always "in training" for something!

I think they have an absolute terror of getting fat, as they see it as social failure.

In the West, obesity definitely runs in families, possibly genetic and very probably due to bad eating habits, often driven by poverty. High intake of nutritionally poor cheap carbohydrates, the modern pacifier of the masses!

However, there is obviously a class aspect and it's silly to deny that.

I don't deny that. Or deny there are challenges. But because it is not purely about economics (unless income is so low there is no access to proper cooking facilities and food donations are relied upon) we are talking about cultural pressures and challenges. Cultures change, they are not set in stone. That is why it is important to get the news out that it is possible to have a healthy diet and active lifestyle even with economic disadvantage. The health problems that come without this lead to people suffering so let's not magnify the challenges of culture change so much an observer might think change is impossible. I'm all for being sympathetic and empathetic but I would draw the line at letting people slip into hopelessness.

I sometimes go on holiday with friends who are size 16-18 (UK average) and I am size 8-10 (UK)

I think they have an absolute terror of getting fat, as they see it as social failure.

There is a middle ground. I'm not expecting to look like a catwalk model but I would like to nurture my body through healthy choices in terms of diet and lifestyle. I genuinely feel better for it. The terror of getting fat is not really there for me in that way. I've been quite fat. My health was at a low at that time too. I like feeling better.

Sorry pressed too soon...if you look on the BMI average world calculator ( is it BBC?) it says my weight is equivalent to a woman who lives in Eritrea ( or equivalent).

But the difference between us is that my friends seem to get hungrier than me ( I rarely feel hunger) and eat and drink far more alcohol than me ( I get tipsy after 2 glasses) and I seem to spend more time running around being active and they are more sedentary ( watch TV etc). They also snack more and eat more packaged/ processed factory produced food and I rarely do.

So the differences add up I suppose.

Likewise, they seem to tire more easily and are less energetic than me. We went to the beach at the weekend and while I was playing in the sea and with a beach ball, they were all sunbathing instead whereas I get a bit bored if I'm only doing that.

They also have more health issues with their knees/ joints/ blood pressure because of the excess weight they are carrying but it's definitely a catch 22 as if you are stiff and sore you are less likely to want to be active.

Sorry, wrong thread! 😆

They severely restrict calorie intake!!!!

That reminds me of the time I was stood next to a wealthy acquaintance of mine (stick thin) at a buffet. She was spreading butter on a small round piece of French bread. She said to me 'Its lovely, but I'm going to have to starve all day tomorrow'.

I wish people would stop pedalling this calorie is a calorie adage which have been proven to be a fallacy time after time with numerous longitudinal studies. People may lose weight for 6-12 months, but it is ALWAYS back on 2,5,10 years later. Metabolism gets lowered permanently by such dieting so you end up run piling on pounds quicker after your ‘diet’.

You only have to ask PCOS sufferers or underactive thyroid sufferers, or contraceptive pill users or HRT users, or people who take insulin. They pile on weight against their wishes and efforts. Anybody who experienced the above would know the feeling of helplessness and lack of control over their weight gain.

Obesity is a complex hormonal issue, not just the calorie you have consumed. What you eat matters, when you eat it, composition of your diet, stress you experience, quality of your sleep.

Please stop with this nonsense of just eat less, move more. It is utter tosh and just makes people feel inadequate for what is not their fault, I.e. their metabolism works. Don’t you know people who eat like a horse and do no exercise, yet are stick thin while others get punished immediately for an odd cupcake.

I can't believe some people are trying to argue there is no link between socioeconomic status and obesity.

The link is clear and well documented in numerous research studies and is a major public health concern. It is a multi-faceted issue and not one easily solved.

www.nhs.uk/news/obesity/children-poorer-backgrounds-more-affected-rise-childhood-obesity/

The research shows that children from lower socioeconomic groups are now over-represented among children with the highest weight.

Please stop with this nonsense of just eat less, move more. It is utter tosh and just makes people feel inadequate for what is not their fault, I.e. their metabolism works. Don’t you know people who eat like a horse and do no exercise, yet are stick thin while others get punished immediately for an odd cupcake.

Oh yeah, of course, every fat person has a hormonal issue and can't possibly loose weight by adjusting their diet. People just shouldn't try and eat well then? Because there is no point since no one can influence their weight?

Please stop with this nonsense of just eat less, move more. It is utter tosh and just makes people feel inadequate for what is not their fault

I agree.

Do you tell alcoholics that it's easy not to be an alcoholic? Just don't drink.

Do you tell drug addicts that it's easy to stop...just don't shoot up anymore?

If I had the time and money to do my favourite exercise class every day I would! I would also get regular meal kits such as mindful chef. I'd definitely be slimmer!