To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

Yes but if someone isn't regularly overeating, all the large portions in the world won't make any difference, because they simply won't be able to pack it all into their stomachs without feeling sick or uncomfortable.

Many appetites grow larger over time and that's mostly due to portion sizes and plate sizes slowly creeping up over the years.

Also, many parents really overfeed their kids without even realising it. I sometimes despair at the 'How much does your baby/toddler eat' threads.

There are people packing 2 Weetabix, toast and banana into their babies/toddlers in one breakfasts sitting.

A lot of adults couldn't eat a breakfast that size. Then there's the 'Bring lots of snacks to keep your toddler occupied' when someone has an appointment/wedding etc to go to.

It's no wonder so many kids are overweight when they're being overfed and taught that hunger is some sort of enemy, that needs to be fended off immediately.

OP - not a class thing in my opinion.

I personally have always been slim, I was pretty slim throughout my pregnancy, however I started putting quite a lot of weight whilst breastfeeding as I was eating a lot more. In fact 6 months after giving birth I was weighing as much as I weighed right before giving birth, which to me seemed unacceptable as I was not used to it.

So I decide to cut down on food, ditched the snacks/desserts and my daily regime would be: a good breakfast, a good lunch and for dinner I’d have a salad. And did that for several months. Occasionally a bigger, more calorific dinner but not very often. In 4 months I lost all the excessive weight and went below the pre-pregnancy weight. My DH told me to stop as I looked a bit too skinny. But I was so used to eating less now that it became effortless.

Good luck, I hope you get good tips and manage to reach your goal x

WorraLiberty the over feeding children had often come through the generations. Many of our grandparents and parents food was scarce at times and certainly tasty food was

I was always encouraged to eat as much as I can, our house always had an abundance of food because my grandparents were in a position to be able to do that that was unthinkable when they were young

I have always got an over stocked fridge and cupboard it’s hard to break that as it’s been the norm to me and I really struggle with ds when he says he is hungry between meals not to feed him something

I use My Fitness Pal and log everything I eat with a daily allowance of 1200 calories but on weekends this can go up to 1400. Log 10,000+ steps a day on my Fitbit. Run 5km X 3 times a week. Drink 2 litres of water a day. I always cook from scratch and don’t drink fizzy drinks or eat biscuits, cakes etc and never ever snack between meals. This all sounds a bit militant but it works.

I don't like feeling over full. Perhaps that has some thing to do with it, definitely not how much money I have.

If you're on a low income and going out for food is a treat, you don't want a small portion of something healthy.

How very patronising. All people on low incomes want huge quantities of junk when they go out to eat? Patronising and defeatist.

I suppose I don't have as strong a motivation as someone who need to lose weight for their health.

You don't say, gwen!

You have argued your way out of every tip or piece of persuasion that eating healthily can be easy and enjoyable. Do you enjoy being controlled by an appetite for junk food? Because that is what your posts suggest. If you do really want to lose excess weight it does involve being actually prepared to do something different to what you have being doing to maintain/increase any excess weight. You won't do it if you argue yourself out of every possible step towards achieving that goal.

Yes and one portion of fish and chips is nothing if the rest of your diet is healthy

Not a class thing, purely down to your diet and how much exercise you do. Being a mom makes it harder to fit in but not impossible. If you were to walk with your baby daily for an hour. And not eat chocolate cakes or alcohol (in moderation) you would be ‘skinny’

Sorry but people act as though being slim is a big mystery and it isn’t. No surplus calories = slim

Sorry but people act as though being slim is a big mystery and it isn’t. No surplus calories = slim

Ain’t that the truth !

"No surplus calories = slim"

Well, no. No surplus calories = not overweight, not necessarily slim.

"If you're on a low income and going out for food is a treat, you don't want a small portion of something healthy.

How very patronising. All people on low incomes want huge quantities of junk when they go out to eat? Patronising and defeatist."

You've never been for pub food or a cheap cafe then? Even a mid-range restaurant has large portions and the portions have been getting bigger over the years. I don't see how you can deny this.

"WorraLiberty the over feeding children had often come through the generations. Many of our grandparents and parents food was scarce at times and certainly tasty food was

I was always encouraged to eat as much as I can, our house always had an abundance of food because my grandparents were in a position to be able to do that that was unthinkable when they were young"

Yes, and the idea that you would be a bad parent if the children didn't have enough food. We had school dinners, but most kids got a cooked dinner in the evening as well and the parents would have been looked down on if they'd only given children a sandwich for an evening meal.
Also the 'finish your plate' meaning children were told to eat even when full. This stupid thing has even got worse recently with the emphasis on avoiding waste.

EnthusiasmIsDisturbed, portion sizes have risen massively over the years as has snacking.

It's something people need to stop doing to their children.

We often read MNetters blaming their weight on being made to clear their plates as children.

The obese adults of the future will be blaming their parents for overfeeding, using food as a babysitter and never allowing them to feel hunger.

Hunger is a perfectly natural feeling, yet kids are often made to believe it's a terrible thing.

You've never been for pub food or a cheap cafe then? Even a mid-range restaurant has large portions and the portions have been getting bigger over the years. I don't see how you can deny this.

What you are stating as fact is not that portions are getting bigger. You are proclaiming that low income people &want& to only eat large quantities of junk when they go out to eat.

And, no. The mid range restaurants I go to do not have ever larger portions and are not serving junk. That kind of food has never appealed to me. I’d rather go to out for Vietnamese pho, Japanese ramen, Korean bibimbap, Lebanese grill, Malaysian curry.... all moderately priced and certainly not stodgy junk.

I am aware of that

But these ideas are deep rooted hence why there is a difference in ideas towards food between classes - that doesn’t mean every working class or middle class person has the same attitudes towards foods

Look at countries in recent years that have become wealthier the generation before was often very very poor this generation isn’t. The growing middle classes have increased in size very quickly (China, India, parts of the ME)

"You are proclaiming that low income people &want& to only eat large quantities of junk when they go out to eat."

It's a bit of a generalisation, but even the middle income I know would feel cheated by the kind of portions you get in fine dining. The large portions are there because there is demand for them after all.

"You are proclaiming that low income people &want& to only eat large quantities of junk when they go out to eat."

I didn't mention junk food actually.
Out of interest, since you disagree with me, let me know which restaurants/pubs/cafes cater for people on a low income with small portions of healthy food. I'd be interested to know.

You've never been for pub food or a cheap cafe then? Even a mid-range restaurant has large portions and the portions have been getting bigger over the years. I don't see how you can deny this.

Portions have been getting bigger but so has the attitude that each person, including children, has to have one of these huge portions each. When we ate out as children most places didn't do children's meals so we either had one adult portion split between us or our parents split theirs with us. I still do this.

When I go out now with family or friends we invariably share, I can't and won't force myself to eat gargantuan amounts of food so it is either share it or waste it. I've never been anywhere that has refused to serve one portion split into two or to bring an extra empty plate to allow us to do it ourselves.

We were never forced to clear our plates, we didn't snack between meals we were brought up with a healthy attitude to food and this has been passed on to our respective children.

Compared with, say, 50 years ago:

• portions are getting bigger
• food is available 24/7
• work is generally more sedantary
• transport/cars are more widely available and/or affordable.

Unsurprisingly, people are becoming larger.

Those that limit their intake & exercise are effectively compensating for the trappings of modern life.
It's not a punishment. It may seem like a chore but like anything it very quickly becomes a habit and doesn't require much thought or particular effort to do and becomes a way of life.
The difficulty is starting it and then the initial few weeks.

I don't say this as show of virtue but as someone who enjoyed my bread, cakes and wine alongside healthy food and have watch my weight creep up. Looking at some family members was like looking into my future & I didn't want that. I also found myself dreading going out of an evening as I felt plump (5'4 and 10 stone) compared to my slim friends.
I like being much slimmer, as I feel so much health, & carry myself with more confidence. My skin has also cleared up & my energy level improved.

sorry for typos in previous post.

We were never forced to clear our plates, we didn't snack between meals we were brought up with a healthy attitude to food and this has been passed on to our respective children

Yes, yes and yes to this.
During my DC's toddler days I used to go to groups with other mums whose children would have bread sticks, rice cakes & cheese fed to them constantly and then would rue their child not eating meals properly.

Haven't RTFT but in Beyonce's Netflix special she says she lost her baby weight from having twins in 3-4 months on a diet of "No dairy, no meat, no fish, no carbs, no sugar, no alcohol" and added "I'm hungry!"

So I believe there is no magic secret, if you eat less you will be slimmer. Everyone I know who has struggled to lose weight, my observation is that they eat more than they realise. These are women who will say "all I've had to eat today is egg white and poached chicken breast" and not count any of the between meal snacking they do.

I think the class element of it is that poorer women have a lot of stress in their lives, and also that wealthy women have the money to spend on non-food treats like holidays, clothing, shoes, hair, nails, spa etc.

Also the 'finish your plate' meaning children were told to eat even when full. This stupid thing has even got worse recently with the emphasis on avoiding waste

Food is no less wasted if it is eaten when full or not wanted than it is if it goes straight in the bin. People need to realise that.

I do think there is some element of people 'wanting a good feed' when they eat out and some pubs/cafes catering for this. But if the food served is too much, you don't have to eat it all. Don't let the venue's idea of an appropriate portion size control how much you eat.

I nearly always take a doggy bag because too much food is served - I will eat the rest for lunch the next day, so the calories are spread over two meals not one.

Or if I'm eating out at lunchtime, and I'm enjoying the food, I might eat it all and have little or nothing for dinner, mainly because I'm genuinely still full, but also to balance out the large lunch. I prefer to eat this way anyway, more food earlier in the day.

Out of interest, since you disagree with me, let me know which restaurants/pubs/cafes cater for people on a low income with small portions of healthy food. I'd be interested to know.

Most pubs. You just order a starter and a side. It works out cheaper too.

I was encouraged to finish my plate. I hated it. I vowed not to do that to my D.C. If food is liked but the portion a struggle I adjust the portion next time. No one is forced to finish their plate. We freeze any extra. I use a persons hand as a guide regarding portion sizes. Palm of hand = 1 serving of meat / veg. Aim for at least 5 portions of fruit / veg a day.