To wonder what exactly middle class and upper class Mums do to be skinny

[Humpy84]

I am a Mum of a two year old turning three July. Not an age that he can be packed up for long walks in buggy.

I have gained weight and feeling overwhelmed by everything.

I have noticed and I think it is obvious that middle and upper class Mums tend to be slimmer.

I want to know if you identify this and if so what is your weekly shopping routine, meal plan, how do you exercise with or without toddler/s, tips and tricks etc, diet plans, etc etc.

Out of interest, since you disagree with me, let me know which restaurants/pubs/cafes cater for people on a low income with small portions of healthy food. I'd be interested to know

I went to a 'pile it high, sell it cheap' pub for lunch yesterday - not my choice but it was what was available and I was with a group. Everyone got sandwiches and chips, so cheap, filling, big and carby. You could also get the sandwich component (beef, ham etc) served with a salad, so no chips and bread, for the same price. I've seen this countless times. Many pubs and cafes sell soup, that's quite low calorie and filling, usually comes with a small roll, you could ask for a wholemeal one.

Subway and McDonalds sell salads, fruit, plain chicken wraps and similar. Carveries are cheap and a good choice if you just get the meat, loads of veg and only a tiny bit, or none of the stuffing, roast potatoes and, Yorkshire pudding. I usually get lots of veg, a couple of roast potatoes and a Yorkshire pudding that I will leave most of.

You're not forced to choose like many people do and pile on the roast potatoes, stuffing and Yorkshire puds and ignore the veg, or just take a token carrot. The food is there if you want it.

I didn't mention junk food actually.
Out of interest, since you disagree with me, let me know which restaurants/pubs/cafes cater for people on a low income with small portions of healthy food. I'd be interested to know.

You said poor people "don't want small plates o something healthy". If food is not healthy, then it is junk, no?

Many restaurants are not expensive - I gave examples that I enjoy. Here is an example of a list of Best Cheap Eats in London. No chains on this list, no microwave food. Some more stodgy food, but mostly not, and mains less than £10. Choose ethnic, and be discriminating.

Portion sizes may be increasing at chain and poor quality places, but that does not mean that one needs to eat everything on one's plate! I go to America with my family frequently and it exemplifies huge portions. I compensate by only ordering 1 or 2 starters and 1 main for 3 people (1 adult, 1 teen and one younger child). There often is enough food to take home. I am puzzled by your defeatist and passive attitude in general.

I think the class element of it is that poorer women have a lot of stress in their lives, and also that wealthy women have the money to spend on non-food treats like holidays, clothing, shoes, hair, nails, spa etc

That's not always the case though. Many 'poorer' women are managing just fine with a few shifts of low stress work plus top up benefits, while those in high paid 'big jobs' are doing long hours, always on emails out of hours, rushing around juggling childcare, work etc.

"When I go out now with family or friends we invariably share"

That's good. I will share pizza or pudding when I can. It doesn't work with all meals and there must be someone else there with you who wants to share.

Well, no. No surplus calories = not overweight, not necessarily slim.

. If you are not overweight (for your body) then you are slim

"Food is no less wasted if it is eaten when full or not wanted than it is if it goes straight in the bin. People need to realise that."

Good point, but people don't see it that way. I've been told by a friend to finish my plate and I'm over 40!
There was outrage on here after the slim people programme on Channel 4 because one of the women was throwing away the most part of her food.

"I do think there is some element of people 'wanting a good feed' when they eat out and some pubs/cafes catering for this. But if the food served is too much, you don't have to eat it all."

You are right, but it's easier not to think you have to have your money's worth if you've got more money in the first place.

"I nearly always take a doggy bag because too much food is served - I will eat the rest for lunch the next day, so the calories are spread over two meals not one. "

Lots of foods just don't work as a doggy bag and in some places it's still not the done thing to ask for one. This is changing slowly though.

"Well, no. No surplus calories = not overweight, not necessarily slim.

confused. If you are not overweight (for your body) then you are slim"

Um. No. Slim doesn't mean the same as not overweight. People can be in the healthy BMI and be medium or even chubby or fat. There's a range.

On the other hand, if some of you think slim is just 'not overweight' then it puts into context what you've been saying about it being easy blah blah blah.

"Out of interest, since you disagree with me, let me know which restaurants/pubs/cafes cater for people on a low income with small portions of healthy food. I'd be interested to know.

Most pubs. You just order a starter and a side. It works out cheaper too. smile"

Those things are designed as starters and sides though. You're modifying them if you're eating them as your main meal. Most people don't want to have soup with a side plate of lettuce when they go out.

"You could also get the sandwich component (beef, ham etc) served with a salad, so no chips and bread, for the same price. "

Pubs don't do good salads though, at least none of the ones near me do, nor do McDonalds etc. The salads don't even have a vinaigrette on them because the assumption is that people will use salad cream. I won't have salad in pubs because they're so awful.

"You said poor people "don't want small plates o something healthy". If food is not healthy, then it is junk, no?"

No. Of course not. There's something in between healthy and junk isn't there.
Healthy food - salad, salmon meal, etc.
Junk food - doughnuts, maybe McD (though I think it's a bit better now)
In the middle - cheese toasties, etc.

Most people don't want to have soup with a side plate of lettuce when they go out.

There you go again - proclaiming what most other people would like to eat. There is nothing wrong with choosing a starter and a side if you know that the portions are large. A starter is not necessarily a soup and a side is not necessarily a couple lettuce leaves!

mominatrix - I don't live in London so won't go through that list.
We have Pret, Nero, Costa, then pub food, then chain restaurants like Pizza Hut, Zizzi, etc.

As I've said before, healthier food is available in London anyway (because of the presence of richer people imo). For example, Cafe Nero in London sells salads whereas the ones here don't. There's a Pret on every corner in London. Where I live we have two Prets, and I think many people find them overpriced for the quantities, but we have a Greggs on every corner.

I think this argument is actually not that helpful. Sorry - I know I’m not the thread police 😂 👮‍♀️!

But, there is a link between deprivation and obesity in this country. A friend of mine sits on peer reviews in Parliament about this. There is even a ripple effect going from London (more slim people) outwards, as London is the most wealthy. And in some deprived areas, apparently obesity is truly an epidemic. That isn’t coincidence. There has to be more to is.

Of course it’s perfectly possible to stay slim and healthy on a budget. But a more interesting conversation would be why is there this link? I actually think @gwenhwyfar is the only person trying to answer that.

And she isn’t even overweight herself, so not sure why she’s getting told off for not doing well enough. She’s probably as healthy as some slim middle class people.

Sorry, so ripple effect out from London - people tend to get fatter, the further they get from the epicentre of wealth. There is something seriously fucked up about that.

What do YOU think healthy is? To me it is food which has a good amount of micronutrients as well as macronutrients. Cheese toasties are not healthy and I would consider them as a treat food, what many consider as junk. However, if that cheese toast had ingredients other than white bread butter and cheese (roasted veg), it would be healthy, or more accurately, healthful. Healthy food is not simply steamed veg and fish! It is food which is balanced.

Those things are designed as starters and sides though. You're modifying them if you're eating them as your main meal. Most people don't want to have soup with a side plate of lettuce when they go out.

Who actually has three courses in a pub? Starters are ideal for lunches. You could have a piece of garlic bread or flatbread with soup. If you are in a group you could order several starters and sides to share. Our local pubs offer things like chicken tikka, garlic mushrooms, mozzarella, cod goujons, chicken wings. All good to eat with a salad. I'm happy to eat salad with no dressing but it often has a bit of vinaigrette on anyway.

There is no such thing as healthy and unhealthy food only healthy and unhealthy diets.
To answer your question, women married to a rich man are often mindful of the fact they might be traded in for a newer model!

And she isn’t even overweight herself, so not sure why she’s getting told off for not doing well enough. She’s probably as healthy as some slim middle class people

Because she's argued against every affordable solution offered to get round problems associated with eating healthily on a low budget. It promotes a defeatist attitude. The opposite of encouragement and empowerment.

I’m from working class but now live in a more upper working class/middle class area.

People seem to spend more time going on hikes and affording to make nicer food. Less chippy meals, swapping sitting in a beer garden on a sunny Saturday for a walk around a forest/lake, that kind of thing.

Lots of women on the council estate I grew up on didn’t drive and going on a family mountain walk etc was a once a year thing, not something done every weekend. Life was harder, people ate more freezer food, etc.

Saying that, I’m naturally skinny and would still be skinny living back on the estate.

I believe a lot of the misunderstandings around food are purely down to education.

I don’t mean that disrespectful before I get shot down, but if you know what is going into your food and what you are eating then you would know how to maintain a certain weight (whether you want to be slim or whatever).

Quite often I believe people choose to not educate themselves when food is involved. I see to at my workplace. The bigger people complain about their size but are always the first up whenever there is unhealthy food around.

Simple tricks like not drinking anything other than water, you’d be amazed how many calories that can save you.

Snacks, rarely should it be crisps or chocolate, but for lost people snacking on fruit or nuts every day is ‘boring’.

I always get told ‘it’s ok for you because you’re slim’ or ‘you’re naturally slim’. I always want to say no actually. If I eat 2200 calories a day, the extra 200 would turn into fate unless I exercise it off. Being slim takes work like anything else in life.

That's not always the case though. Many 'poorer' women are managing just fine with a few shifts of low stress work plus top up benefits, while those in high paid 'big jobs' are doing long hours, always on emails out of hours, rushing around juggling childcare, work etc.

It's very unusual to find overweight women working in high paid big jobs so not sure I'm following you there.

I don't think it's the work that causes the stress, it's financial insecurity. Yes the working class woman might only work part time but worrying about money is stressful.

"But a more interesting conversation would be why is there this link? I actually think @gwenhwyfar is the only person trying to answer that. "

Thank you CupOhTea.
I think I'm being given a hard time because some people think I'm justifying being overweight or obese. I'm not. I'm usually hammered on these threads for not being pro-fat or being against body acceptance. I don't think it's good to be overweight. However, there is obviously a class aspect and it's silly to deny that.

"It's very unusual to find overweight women working in high paid big jobs"

And the opposite is true. I remember looking at a photo of some carers for old people in a window of one of the agencies. Every single one was fat and not just a bit fat either. I presume it's their incomes and hours as well as other class factors.

I think you are getting a hard time Gwen

There are many factors I think a really good one that was pointed out is general satisfaction with life coming from relationships, work, money concerns (impact is huge), where you live, worries about children and who they are getting involved with, treating yourself (I work my arse off in MH services and rarely get to buy myself something nice but can always treat myself with food), holidays to look forward too and the list goes on

The link between deprivation and obesity and I strongly believe it is lack of education.

Deprived areas tend to have poorer a quality education.

I often hear a lot of people say healthy eating is due to lack of money which is rubbish. My mom was a single parent of three and we grew on a council estate. She worked part time but every day would do home cooked meal from scratch that included vegetables. £10 can either go on fish and chips or some meat and veg. A lot of people choose the fish and chips/freezer options. It’s a choice. Vegetables are not expensive, neither is meat. That is all that is required for a healthy dinner.

Water from our taps is free.