Not going on date if he won't pick me up?

[simpleskmonwent]

It's my 3rd date with this guy.
He suggested on Saturday to go for a drive into the country and go for lunch and look around this village.
I thought that sounded great.
I live 25 min drive from him or 50 min train journey to his local city.
He said can you meet me at (his local train station) so that's a extra train and another 20 mins.
I said can we not meet in your city centre train station (as only 1 train for me) he said he couldn't park easy there.
So I have to get two trains and a 1hr 10 min journey to then go on a drive.
It's just putting me off.
Aibu here if I didn't go.
Then after a hours drive in the country he will drop me off at the train station for a 1hr journey and he drives 5 mins home.

Surely he should be picking you up and dropping you off? 25 minutes drive is nothing.
I'd just ghost and block him, sod that for a laugh.

Yeh, TWO trains, bones of forty pounds!? I would just take it as a sign, if it feels like it's not worth it thank the universe for making that clear to you.

No brainer. He wants to you to pay nearly 40 quid to come over his way and service his knob. Will probably expect you to go 50/50 on petrol and lunch. Nope.

From your OP I'd say I'm torn. I don't expect to be chauffeured around and it is a pain if you're the only one with a car and the other person expects lifts everywhere. I'm also definitely not old school and prefer a partnership of equals. However, somewhere around the 3rd/ 4th date the guy I'm dating offered to go out of his way to pick me up and I said it was fine, I'd get a bus and meet him at our chosen venue, which I did. I then realised he was actually a bit hurt by this and felt rebuffed because he likes driving me around. Since he likes doing this, without (hopefully) taking the piss, I've been much more relaxed about accepting lifts from him.

However, you then said this Last week I asked to meet in his city for food and he said he was too tired. Then he said come over to mine and watch a DVD's. Frankly if he's this half-arsed at this stage I wouldn't bother.

I'd finish things.

When dh and I met it would take him two hours to get to me and he would come to me nearly every time. When he really wanted a break from travelling we discussed it. The issue was my cat and I would pay for the dinner etc to make up for him paying train tickets.

Massive nope from me. That does not bode well if he is not making any effort so early on. Sack him off!

To not pick you up when the date is going for a drive is silly.

To then refuse to meet in town and expect you to come to him is insulting.

The only reason I could imagine for is if he had picked you up for the first two dates and expected you to reciprocate. If this is not the case then dump him.

An uber to his house must be cheaper than the train?

However, as he's already said no to your perfectly reasonable compromise. I would sack him off, tbh.

Don’t go! He could always collect you en route and go on a different drive, maybe not the one he had planned. If he is lazy on date 3 it does not bode well.

Just a note on the "25 minutes"; non-drivers often say "it's just...". Maybe - but more likely 35 and can be 45 on a bad day. They never factor in that even 25 minutes stressful/trafficky/hot/uncomfirtable driving is hard on your back and your brain. "It's just 25 minutes"

Remember too that's times 4 when he picks her up, drives to destination, drives round village, drives her home and drives back to his home. - so that's two hours driving!!!

He can't be bothered, I would just ditch him, and tell him that you are on different pages and it is not going to work.

The spiteful little cow inside me would tell him I can’t be assed, come and watch a dvd at mine instead.

He's a thoughtless, elfish, knob head, OP, get rid! We live rurally and teenage DD isn't driving yet. She has started seeing a lad who lives an hour from us and he picks her up and drops her off. He won't even take money for fuel, despite being on an apprentice's wage as he says he loves driving! He's a gentleman - this guy isn't.

Selfish not elfish. Although that could be interesting.

To be fair OP I'm not getting that you are madly attracted to or interested in him anyway so really - take everyone's advice and don't take it any further.

Howard he can't even be bothered to meet half way. He could not be bothered to come out on another date, and suggested op meet at his to watch dVd, no thank you with his CBA attitude. Have standards.

Nah, you're alright thanks.

Start as you mean to go on? Let him get away with this now, and it'll always be like this. Tell him you're too tired. My dp used to drive 100 miles every weekend to spend time with me.

HowardSpring - he is the one suggesting a drive! He just thinks she should spend £40 and two hours on a train to get to him so he can drive. I'm a driver, I think he is a twat.

No I woulden't be attracted to a guy with a CBA attitude, not an attractive trait.

Oh dear! YANBU. He's a self-centred arse who doesn't want to put himself out for you on a third date. It won't improve in the future! Ditch.

I would let this one fizzle. If he’s not willing to go to a tiny bit of extra effort at this stage when he should be excited and trying to impress you, it doesn’t bode well for his overall thoughtfulness or decency. When people show you who they are, believe them!

It sounds like you are just as lazy as he is

Remember too that's times 4 when he picks her up, drives to destination, drives round village, drives her home and drives back to his home. - so that's two hours driving!!!

And yet she didn't suggest he pick her up. She suggested a compromise, to his invitation, that they meet at his local train station. He CBA'd with even that. What an arse. The second 'date' idea would have been the end of it for me, OP, you offered to travel to his city and he couldn't even BA'd to get up off his sofa, just wanted you to come to his and suck his dick. What a toad.

And personally, I wouldn't want to go driving alone with some guy I barely knew as a date, either.