Not going on date if he won't pick me up?

[simpleskmonwent]

It's my 3rd date with this guy.
He suggested on Saturday to go for a drive into the country and go for lunch and look around this village.
I thought that sounded great.
I live 25 min drive from him or 50 min train journey to his local city.
He said can you meet me at (his local train station) so that's a extra train and another 20 mins.
I said can we not meet in your city centre train station (as only 1 train for me) he said he couldn't park easy there.
So I have to get two trains and a 1hr 10 min journey to then go on a drive.
It's just putting me off.
Aibu here if I didn't go.
Then after a hours drive in the country he will drop me off at the train station for a 1hr journey and he drives 5 mins home.

yanbu its early days still, and he is showing you who he is, very selfish. I would ditch the date, that would put me off him.

I would expect to be picked up in these circumstances to be honest (unless its just not possible). My husband is pretty old school with things like that, so I may be a bit spoilt

I just think in the early days, if a guy is interested they want to impress and will go above and beyond.

FGS, he's not even trying to make an effort. Imagine how bad he'll get if you stay with him! Bin this one off and quickly.

I'd not bother. I think your suggestion of compromise was a good one and he doesn't have to park, he could just wait in the collection area. I couldn't be arsed with someone so lazy so early into the relationship and unwilling to meet halfway.

Think I'd message back something like, 'Sorry but that really won't work for me with regards to transport issues so I'll pass. Have a nice weekend.x'

If he’s mean with his time and effort 3 dates in, it doesn’t bode well... A keen and considerate date would offer to pick you up... you’re only 25 mins away. If that’s too much trouble for him at this very early stage, I’d call it off and move on.

He can't be bothered and that is very telling. I used to live 20 miles away from Dh (i don't drive, failed 4 driving tests and only just started again now), he used to pick me up and drop me off dates, 20 odd years ago. That's what you do!

Tell him it's too expensive and a hassle just to go for a drive, that he should do this one by himself and you'll catch up with him another time.

Either he only does stuff to benefit him or he's testing you.

Both are dumpable offences imo.

Yeah, it's a no from me

I'd not bother. If you are going for a drive he could easily just pick you up

If he cant put the effort in now, then why bother?

He could just as easily say that too.

Maybe he's setting the scene now, nothing worse than only one driver in a relationship where the other expects to be driven.

No I would tell him that you aren't very impressed by his thoughtlessness. TBH a new chap should be wanting to impress you with his caring nature and spend time with you when he picks you up for the date.

When me and husband were dating he drove 300 miles each way every weekend to come see me, staying in a hotel because I had kids. It's effort that makes you feel warm inside, no matter how much effort.

No effort at all is a passion killer.

It's gonna be £36.50 day return 😱

I could not be bothered with a lazy, selfish arse like this.

I wouldn’t bother.

For our second date I had made a balls of flights and he drove 80 miles to lift me at the airport and took me for dinner.

I would say no, I live half an hour from my fella and many of times at beginning he came and picked me up as don't drive.

80 miles each way that is. 160 mile round trip.

i think hes quite clearly showing you that he wont go the extra mile or go to any hassle to see you. I would call this one off as if this is him courting you, that doesnt bode well

Maybe he's setting the scene now, nothing worse than only one driver in a relationship where the other expects to be driven. Waitjustabloodyminute! She takes a train to him an home again, an hour each way... he suggested a drive as a 3rd date! Her expectations are what? That part of that date/drive saves her a 2nd train and starts their 3rd date a litle earlier than it would if she had to piss about changing trains?

£36.50 and 2 hours travel to go for a 1 hour drive in the country side? I'd be passing on that.

He is already showing you who he is - believe him!

Is he worth £36 for an awkwardly quiet drive in the country because you’re secretly reeling you had to pay £36 just to look at his lazy face at a different location?

I honestly wouldn’t bother personally . If he’s aware of all the facts including how many trains you would need to get and journey time and isn’t going to compromise at all this will just be the very beginning . Things won’t improve as majority of people put in more effort when dating etc than further down the line .

When me and my husband were dating he would drive 45 mins to the airport after work on a Friday, fly 3 hours to the UK, and then go back on Sunday afternoon to be back in work on Monday. He did this most weekends....for 6 months.

Considering this is just the 3rd date it doesn't seem like he wants to put much effort into it...

There is a reason he's single and having never met him we all know why. Why don't you?