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Original poster

...to think friend's daughter ought to take a taxi

147 replies

NotOnTheBench · 15/04/2019 22:34

Been asked to take my friend's 20 Yr old daughter to work tomorrow. I've said yes as there's no real reason not to - except that I will have to drive across town in rush hour + then all the way back to my work on the opposite side of town, in order to fetch her + drop her off at her workplace.

She could afford a taxi so why doesn't she just use one? I'm doing this twice this week. I have been asked before + of course I do, but...

I know I'm doing it anyway but don't people use taxis at all these days?

OP posts:
HilaryBriss · 15/04/2019 22:37

You need to learn to say no. I assume she asks you because you are cheaper than a taxi. Can't she get the bus?

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 15/04/2019 22:40

I would think an hour long taxi ride was a massive luxury. I wouldn’t pay for it as a fully fledged grown up. Why have they asked you?

NeutralJanet · 15/04/2019 22:42

Can you not take her to your workplace and she gets public transport to her own workplace from there?

OffToBedhampton · 15/04/2019 22:50

Ermmm.. I've said yes as there's no real reason not to.... Yes there is...as you said:

Friend's 20 Yr old daughter not yours

I will have to drive across town in rush hour + then all the way back to my work on the opposite side of town, in order to fetch her + drop her off at her workplace why do you think you are responsible for taking her to work? AND you don't work anywhere near her.

She could afford a taxi

I'm doing this twice this week. I have been asked before

Just say No. (Unless there a massive drip feed coming that she's disabled /blind and her parents whom are close friends have just been in a car accident/ are unwell this week...& You are really close & help each other out all the time..)

You could say next time, "No, not possible as I work. She can meet me at my house before I set off and catch a lift as a one off to my place of work, but that's unlikely to help as works opposite side of town".

Ghanagirl · 15/04/2019 22:53

Why are you doing this?
I have 20 year old niece and neither her or her mum would ask me to do this and I love her to bits.

sackrifice · 15/04/2019 22:55

Text first thing tomorrow and say the car won't start so she will have to make her own way in.

Then just go to work.

Next time they ask, say no.

OwlBeThere · 15/04/2019 22:56

How far is her journey to work by taxi?
But generally i find young people get taxis (or more likely an Uber) much more often than I would have as a 20 year old.

GrotchCoblin · 15/04/2019 22:57

These posts are mind boggling to me.

What do you think would have happened if you'd said, "Sorry I can't help as it's not on my way"???

Why on earth are you doing it if you don't want to?

OffToBedhampton · 15/04/2019 22:59

I have no problem helping out a friend whose car is out of action for a week or two, (I don't do regular lifts as it's a pain) getting themselves to my house, bringing me a coffee (in an insulated cup as that's what I charge!), Catching a lift to my work and making their own way to their work from there.
And if I'm still in office and they get to my work on-time that I leave, they can catch a lift back to my house.

I'll even drop someone off on the way if not out of my way but I won't wait anywhere. Because, travel to and from work is long & hard enough as it is. Other adults catch a bus or train and that's what I do if my car is in for service.

CloserIAm2Fine · 15/04/2019 23:00

Why exactly are you doing this? They’re totally taking advantage of you being so kind/a total pushover

If you live in or near a town then surely there is cheaper public transport than taxis? But even if there isn’t, that’s the friends adult DD’s problem, not yours!

I don’t drive so I choose to live somewhere with decent public transport and work in the city centre, I wouldn’t apply for a job that I couldn’t get to on public transport.

Just say no! It’s not convenient to drive across town in rush hour, going completely out of your way! It’s not an emergency, it’s an adult getting to work which is absolutely not your responsibility

TowelNumber42 · 15/04/2019 23:02

If you feel you must drive her then you drive to your work as normal then she gets a bus or taxi from there to her own work. You could text now and tell her some story about needing to be at work early so you can only take her as far as your work or a bus stop nearby.

CloserIAm2Fine · 15/04/2019 23:04

Oh and I see occasional taxis as being a fair pay off for not driving. I don’t have the expense of buying, insuring, taxing, fuelling and maintaining a car, but I do occasionally have to fork out for a taxi.

Bookworm4 · 15/04/2019 23:05

Bus? Taxi?
Your friend is a CF as is her daughter, maybe if you passed her work, tell them no.
How does she usually get there? Can her parents take her?

DeRigueurMortis · 15/04/2019 23:10

Why exactly is this your problem to deal with?

How she gets to work at 20 years old is not your concern.

Hint: she doesn't get a taxi because you are one presumably unpaid

cstaff · 15/04/2019 23:14

She's an adult not a bloody 4 year old. Like pp said tell them there is a problem with the car and just say no after that.

FrancisCrawford · 15/04/2019 23:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LucyAutumn · 15/04/2019 23:29

At 20 she's an adult.

Also what's wrong with the bus?

BackforGood · 15/04/2019 23:31

I've said yes as there's no real reason not to - except that I will have to drive across town in rush hour + then all the way back to my work on the opposite side of town, in order to fetch her + drop her off at her workplace.

Well, that is your reason. Of course you don't have to take her.

I'm doing this twice this week. I have been asked before + of course I do

Why "of course" ? Confused

I'm quite generous with lifts. I tend to think if i'm going somewhere then I might as well take other people, but you aren't going where she is....... why would they expect you to take her? ..... why on earth would you just not say "I'm not going that way" ? Confused

Butterymuffin · 15/04/2019 23:34

There's no 'of course' about it. You have to steel yourself to say no. Text in the morning and say you will need to be in work early now so it won't be possible to give her a lift. And in future just say you can't as it's too long a detour when you have to get to work yourself.

Ariesgirl1988 · 15/04/2019 23:34

I'm a bit confused here, why does a 20 year old woman need a lift to work? has she got some disability that means she needs to be driven or is she another immature brat who's parents have mollycoddled her all her life?

gamerchick · 15/04/2019 23:35

Seriously OP? Is there some sort of drip feed coming that she has SN?

Tell her to meet you at yours at the very least man Confused

Yabbers · 15/04/2019 23:35

Why did you say yes. There are clearly real reasons not to.

IC4nSeeYourPixels · 15/04/2019 23:45

How has she been getting there and back until now? Is it a job she's had a while and something has happened meaning her regular way of getting herself to work can't happen, such as the bus or train that took her there in the past being pulled? Or has she been extra cheeky (like one of my family has recently done) and applied for a job they knew they had no means of getting to without lifts or in my case using your car everyday for the foreseeable future.

A one off in an emergency is one thing but to ask for it long term a few times a week is proper taking the piss. Tell me she's at least covering the extra cost of fuel. They sound like the type of people who'd blame you for her not having a job if you said no. Is that why you feel pressured to say yes?

Cherrysoup · 15/04/2019 23:49

You're mad, no way.

RubyRoseViolet · 15/04/2019 23:53

Come on op! You sound a bit like me. I have just started saying no and it was weird at first. It gets easier and easier. If you want to soften the blow say “I can do it today but not in the future, travelling across town in the rush hour is quite far out of my way so makes me late for my own work” and leave it at that. Please don’t just keep doing it and resenting it.

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