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Original poster

...to think friend's daughter ought to take a taxi

147 replies

NotOnTheBench · 15/04/2019 22:34

Been asked to take my friend's 20 Yr old daughter to work tomorrow. I've said yes as there's no real reason not to - except that I will have to drive across town in rush hour + then all the way back to my work on the opposite side of town, in order to fetch her + drop her off at her workplace.

She could afford a taxi so why doesn't she just use one? I'm doing this twice this week. I have been asked before + of course I do, but...

I know I'm doing it anyway but don't people use taxis at all these days?

OP posts:
FrancisCrawford · 16/04/2019 09:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kedgeree · 16/04/2019 09:33

You're not explaining why a) they've asked you in particular and b) why one of her immediate family can't take her or c) how does she normally get to work. In the absence of these answers this is a very odd situation.

Bookworm4 · 16/04/2019 09:34

Yes buses are a pain but she should plan that into her day. If you were passing her work it would be fine but you work in the opposite direction. You say she's good with money well she should spend some on a bus/taxi or learning to drive. I don't know anyone this fuckin cheeky.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 16/04/2019 09:34

oh, for goodness' sake, grow a backbone! You're a grown woman.

Don't agree to do this kind of thing and then come on to MN and whine about it.

You are completely in the wrong for agreeing to do this and then complaining to the wrong people. Of course she doesn't use a cab, why should she when there's a martyr on her doorstep chauffeuring her around for free?

Honeyroar · 16/04/2019 09:36

Tell her that you can take her to your workplace, but she'll have to walk across town.

Squeegle · 16/04/2019 09:38

Buses are fine for most people. They’re annoying but there is no reason for you to shoulder the annoyance rather than her. It’s tome to say no, you can’t carry on doing it. Why is your time worth less than hers?

Groovee · 16/04/2019 09:38

Just start saying no. My Dd is 19 and I got her a bus pass to start her new job this week.

sockatoe · 16/04/2019 09:42

Couldn't you take her to your work and her bus from there?

Lobsterquadrille2 · 16/04/2019 09:43

What were you hoping to get from posting this? Genuine question. You appear to be a complete doormat/martyr and if you can't say no for fear of being "impolite", you'll have to continue wasting time ferrying able bodied adults to work.

Bookworm4 · 16/04/2019 09:43

@groovee
The horrors, terrible mother putting your child on a bus!! Did you not ask someone to give the wee darling a lift?
Maybe we should all be CFs 😂😂

FrancisCrawford · 16/04/2019 09:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Drum2018 · 16/04/2019 09:54

Text your friend right now and say that you are not available to bring her adultbaby to work from now on as it is too much out of your way. That is the reason, no need to explain further. In fact there is no need to give a reason at all but if you want to be polite then so be it. Your friend clearly doesn't give a shit about how this ridiculous arrangement affects your morning, petrol costs, sanity, so not sure why you should give a shit about telling her and her dd straight out that you simply won't be doing it again. Let today be the very last time you do it. Don't offer to do it 'in an emergency' as at least once every week will turn into an emergency. Bottom line, cop on!

missbattenburg · 16/04/2019 09:56

Text first thing tomorrow and say the car won't start so she will have to make her own way in.

Don't do this. It's too passive and does not solve the problem - just delays it.

Simply say no. If you find you need more to that that say it's too far out of your way or too much time out of your day.

TwitterQueen1 · 16/04/2019 09:57

So is this a stealth boast? Virtue signalling? "Oh look at me I'm marvellous aren't I? It's so inconvenient, takes me ages, it's in the wrong direction. But I'm so polite! I simply can't say no! I'm super!"

You clearly have no intention of doing anything about it so suck it up.

CripsSandwiches · 16/04/2019 09:59

I think you're right that they shouldn't even ask you to take her unless it was exactly on your way (even that is a favour). She needs to find a way to get herself to work or get a different job/flat.

Acis · 16/04/2019 10:14

If you really want an excuse, say that you have to do other things before and after wealth. If they want details, just tell them it's personal.

Acis · 16/04/2019 10:14

wealth? I mean work!

PrimalLass · 16/04/2019 10:19

What on earth? She is supremely cheeky.

BruceAndNosh · 16/04/2019 10:25

Channel your inner Phoebe

...to think friend's daughter ought to take a taxi
OrdinarySnowflake · 16/04/2019 10:37

OP, too many woman are like you, doing stuff they don't want to because they've been trained to put other people first, so unless they have a good reason to say no, they feel they have to say yes to stuff they don't want to do.

Often the people asking are the sort who would happily say no if they didn't want to do something, and it can seem doubly cheeky as they wouldn't do the same for you, but from their point of view, you must be happy to do it or you'd say no.

Are you due to take her another day? Just send a message tonight saying "I'm not going to be able to take DD to work again, the timings are causing me problems. Wanted to give you as much notice to change plans. X"

Any follow up questions just "sorry I can't make it work without massively putting myself out. Sure you'll sort something."

Once you've done it, you'll feel much better.

From now on, make your first response not to say yes unless you can think of a good reason you can't do it, but to say no and then turn it into a yes later if you want to do it. (And it's fine to say "I cant" when really you can but just don't want to do something.)

Serin · 16/04/2019 10:42

I use the stock answer.
"That doesn't work for me".
I might add a "Sorry" if they had no previous form for cheeky fuckery.

DonnaDarko · 16/04/2019 10:44

I got my first full time job when I was 17. I made sure I could commute there and back without having to rely on anyone.

Her daughter needs to do the same. Suck it up on public transport or learn to drive, end of.

WeepingWillowWeepingWino · 16/04/2019 11:10

I don't think the DD is being cheeky at all, her mum has lined up a muggins to drive her to work as and when - I'm sure she'll do very well for herself!

Groovee · 16/04/2019 11:16

@Bookworm4 I'm such a lazy parent... I'm on holiday and she works holidays but it's two buses to her work place and 2 back and she had to pay her rent for her uni accommodation that she's not staying in anymore as her placement is here at home... it was £19 for the bus pass for the week (next week is a train fare to placement). I think her dad might be driving her to the first bus stop. That's the extent of how lazy we are.

@FrancisCrawford she had planned to get a bus pass but due to her PVG not coming through in time for her to work last week, she missed out on over £300 in wages. So I was feeling sorry for her and bought her a bus pass. She can top it up in the summer when she finishes uni and returns to working. Then I won't need to get out of bed.

Bookworm4 · 16/04/2019 11:28

@groovee
I hope she's paying back the cost of bus pass 😉
Enjoy the holiday

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