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Original poster

...to think friend's daughter ought to take a taxi

147 replies

NotOnTheBench · 15/04/2019 22:34

Been asked to take my friend's 20 Yr old daughter to work tomorrow. I've said yes as there's no real reason not to - except that I will have to drive across town in rush hour + then all the way back to my work on the opposite side of town, in order to fetch her + drop her off at her workplace.

She could afford a taxi so why doesn't she just use one? I'm doing this twice this week. I have been asked before + of course I do, but...

I know I'm doing it anyway but don't people use taxis at all these days?

OP posts:
Groovee · 16/04/2019 11:42

@Bookworm4 nah she'll take me for Costa. I'm fine with that x

FrancisCrawford · 16/04/2019 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Groovee · 16/04/2019 14:39

@FrancisCrawford never took it sarcastically. I just don't understand adult children who are unable to get themselves places if there are no additional needs. My friend's son has additional needs and manages to independently get around with his disabled bus pass.

OffToBedhampton · 16/04/2019 14:59

Well OP, you e had plenty of.support in here that it's a CF request and whilst you've done it today. Say No to all the other requests. My 16 year old DS gets himself to his part time job and into the nearest city. He can catch a bus, walk or cycle. He's not even an adult yet. Your CF's DD is 20 and works. Part of the fun of being a young adult is stretching your wings and learning to be independent. Travel costs and time,( even if catching buses that go every hour and are sometimes late), are a regular part of joining the working world and adulthood.

FrancisCrawford · 16/04/2019 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chloemol · 16/04/2019 17:19

Just say you are happy to take her to your place of work and she can make her own way from there to her place of work, or say no you can’t do it

Cafeculture · 16/04/2019 18:38

Taking her to OP's place of work only works if she lives more or less next door or can easily be picked up en route.

No made up excuses, just tell her no, you can't do it.

WhereYouLeftIt · 16/04/2019 18:57

Your 'friend' isn't much of a friend, is she OP?

Original poster
NotOnTheBench · 16/04/2019 20:40

What's a CF?

And yes I'm a doormat. That's why she asks me.

Although I'm dropping her off on my way to work, it's the fetching her from her house that's the issue. I have to go the 'wrong side' of town to fetch her first.

OP posts:
wineandroses1 · 16/04/2019 20:43

CF = Cheeky Fucker.

Op, are you intending to take any of the helpful advice offered on this thread? Or shall you just continue being your friend (and her DD's) doormat?

Original poster
NotOnTheBench · 16/04/2019 20:47

Incidentally if you check my OP I'm only doing it 2x this week. She does ask me every now + again if she can't take her, but still...

I have 3 DSs who use public transport or walk (God forbid). I will taxi them if I have to / want to. We had an incident on the way home from France recently where DS21 called to say the dog was ill + we arranged for a taxi to get him to the vets and back whilst we flew home! I didn't reach for the phone to ask someone to take him.

QED?!

OP posts:
Original poster
NotOnTheBench · 16/04/2019 20:48

wineandroses1 yes of course! Hopefully I can learn to say 'no' without fear of having to justify myself + explain why I say 'no'.

OP posts:
MonaLisaDoesntSmile · 16/04/2019 20:52

Tell the friend "I'm terribly sorry, but from next week I will no longer be able to collect your daughter and drop her off, hope you can find another arrangement", end of story, bye. At 20 she is perfectly able to take a bus. When I was a etacher I had students who at 11 would take up to an hour or more and change buses three times to get to school and survived.

Drum2018 · 16/04/2019 20:53

Only doing it twice this week is 2 times too many. It's very simple to say it doesn't suit you anymore. Just text them now and free yourself from the annoyance of it all.

Holidayshopping · 16/04/2019 20:58

How much money do you think you are saving her each week?

How much is it costing you-in time AND money?

itsbetterthanabox · 16/04/2019 21:02

Sorry it's so out my way and I've got a full day at work so need to get in early.
Can she get the bus? My boys get the bus everyday, I'm sure there's one she can catch or just a taxi as a one off.

Bookworm4 · 16/04/2019 21:51

@wineandroses
When I first joined MN I thought CF was cunty face/fucker 😂🙄

BackforGood · 16/04/2019 22:09

I've never said this on MN before, but this is so bizarre, I'm struggling to wonder how it can possibly be true.

Seriously - this is an adult, who you are not related to, who doesn't live by you, and who doesn't work with you. She hasn't broken her ankle or anything that might make traveling difficult, and she is going to her regular job in the same place each day.

I genuinely can't see why on earth anyone would think it was their responsibility to get this woman to work ? Confused

MrsElijahMikaelson1 · 16/04/2019 22:12

Am also struggling to see why you would do this or why a friend would ask you to do this!

Cryalot2 · 16/04/2019 22:17

Tell her you are having a late start or something and it not possible to continue for now .

bridgetreilly · 16/04/2019 22:19

"Oh yes, no problem, if you can bring her to my house, then I'll happily drop her off at work."

MirandaGoshawk · 16/04/2019 22:26

I've always found it hard to say no to stuff, worrying that people will think I am BU, but some people aren't like that; they have no hesitation in politely saying no, and we have to take a leaf out of their book. You will feel a lot better once you have put an end to this. Please don't lie about the car though. I would also find "That doesn't work for me " to be confusing too - I would be asking "When does, then?" Just say that you can't continue with it. They ate BU in expecting you to do it.

YemenRoadYemen · 16/04/2019 22:27

One thing I have learnt from MN is that just because people ask, it doesn't mean you have to say yes.

Saying no can be hard, but IME, the sort of CFs people that have no qualms about asking for slightly unreasonable things, expect a 50:50 yes/no response. So you might as well say no, which you can do perfectly politely.

"I'm sorry, but coming all the way out to pick Xxx up is causing me quite an inconvenience, cost and time-wise - I can help out, if needed, in an emergency, but I can't do it on a regular basis any more."

What's she going to do - come over to your place, frog-march you out to your car, and force you to pick her DD up? Nope.

BobBobBobbingAlong · 16/04/2019 22:32

OP have you suggested that the 20 year old could walk at least part of the way if the buses are crap?
It would do so her good.
Please say no from now on.

BobBobBobbingAlong · 16/04/2019 22:33

BTW, I'm in my fifties and regularly walk two miles to work. It's not hard!

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