DH and sleeping bag gate

[CoffeeCoffeeTea]

Ok, this argument has been going on for 10 years and I need advice on how to move on. I lost my temper badly tonight , and I am so ashamed, not because I argued with DH but because I know I've upset my DCs.

Around 10 years ago my sister and her family came for dinner! Talk turned to my DNiece and that she was going on a camping trip with school. My DH offered my DN his sleeping bag , my DN was polite and said thank you , how kind.... but in reality there was no way she was going to use my DH grotty sleeping bag, it was at least 40 years old, had a weird odour and even I would not use it. So my niece ever took the sleeping bag.
A year or two later I had to do a major clear out as we had a bad infestation of carpet bugs and silver fish. To be honest I do not remember what I binned , I just put on the marigolds and cleared lots of stuff and probably DHs sleeping bag...

So moving on, and I do apologise as I've just reread what I've written and it's so trivial.
So problem is that my husband keeps bringing up the missing sleeping bag. He keeps asking me to ring my sister as he is convinced my niece has stolen it. When I tell him I binned it with all the contaminated stuff he accuses me of covering for my sister.
Tonight I lost it and said 'I fxxxx binned your shxxx sleeping bag with all the other crap you had'
We had a massive screaming row. I've apologies to our DCs .
But I'm just so tired of this arguement .it was a 30?year old thread bare sleeping bag . I've apologised , I binned it, ,
How can I get him to move on

My ex has some hoarding tendencies, yet always accused ME of being the hoarder.

The stuff I've thrown away now we're split.......

I took all my stuff with me, including all the stuff I was told to hang onto in case it was useful.

Not any more. Who needs to keep old documents once things have been updated? I've also scanned stuff and saved the scans, chucking the paper.

My home is neater and I can lay my hand on anything quickly.

I can almost understand where he is coming from. A couple of years ago my favourite winter hat went missing, it was only a cheap fila one but it fitted perfectly and I liked the colour. FWB popped over yesterday wearing said hat!!!! My purpose in life is now restored!

@MitziK omigod I've found my mumsnet soul mate, every single comment I've been fucking cryyyiinnngg
OP my sympathies, my DD's father is the same to the point where she tries to have a clear-out and he puts the bin bags in the attic or garage. She's 17, we can laugh about it, but it's no fun to live with.

Thank you all for your replies and apologies for my lack or response. Just spent Easter weekend with DC decluttering. I realised that DC1 was also a hoarder (keeps chocolate wrappers, tissues, school work that is so old the sun has bleached the ink, and other unmentionables) .
Showed DCs this thread and managed to persuade them to do a clear out. They cleared their rooms, but a lot of their stuff has ended up in the spare room! I've been given the task of Project Dump.

My husband is like this about his tennis racquet. It's an old wooden one. I've been with him for 13 years and he has never played tennis in that time. But he thinks it's great and won't throw it out. I don't think even a charity shop would want it to be honest.

DH would be a hoarder if I let him. I don't let him because I don't want to live in total chaos. I clear out regularly. Sometimes I tell him and sometimes I don't.

As it is he has hundreds of books, LPs and cassettes that he won't part with despite having all the music replicated on cds, which he doesn't use, a Sonos and a Spotify account. He has neither a record player nor a cassette player 😬

He can't say why he needs them. But they will be gone as soon as he shows the slightest hesitation for keeping them. I've found space to stack them neatly in the office so they are out of the way but I do not understand the need to keep things you can't or don't use.

Someone once told me if you haven't worn or used something for 2 years you're never going to wear/use them which is probably true and a good reason for regular clear outs.

I have to say I've thrown out boxers in better condition than the bollock airer upthread