About a different meal to the one that's been slaved over?

[breakthepattern]

Person A thinks that's what's been served for dinner (2 adults, 2 DC under 7) is what we're eating. End of. If you don't like it, you don't eat it, that's your choice. It's delicious and not "out there" or very unusual.

Person B thinks if you've never had it before, try it a little and then say you don't like it, it's ok for you to be made an alternative just for you, so you don't go hungry.

Who is BU?

For further info it's one of the DC refusing the food.

It's squash risotto with sage and pine nuts so quite "adult" depending on your perspective / diet.

And the replacement alternative was a ham and cheese wrap, no cooking involved.

Risotto is often v popular with kids
Maybe not with pine nuts in though as ‘bits’ often arouse suspicion and disdain.

When you said ‘make something else’ I thought you meant cook an alternative meal. Bread and butter / cheese sandwich would no ok. I wouldn’t let them go hungry.

Proper risotto is time consuming- it takes a lot of stirring over a low heat.

Squash, sage and pine nut is a fairly un-out there risotto flavor!

But if they’ve given it a proper try then I would offer something simple. If it’s a ham and cheese wrap could they make it themselves?

Neither of my kids like butternut squash much, so I would never give them a meal where it was the main flavour. I would love that risotto, but would make it on an occasion where me and my husband were eating on our own.

There are loads of things I hated as a child, but love now, e.g. parsnips, sprouts, beetroot. I don't think there is anything to be gained ever from a "because I said so" power play, so I think A is being very unreasonable.

Incidentally, for some people, pinenuts leave a very nasty metallic aftertaste.

Poncy shit - sorry

As my DD said to me - most middle class food is really just peasant food, but in the wrong country.

I’m with A as that’s what I do with my kids. I know what their genuine likes and dislikes are so I allow for that, anything else is just them whingeing

I think if anyone feels they have “slaved” over a meal they’re setting themselves up to be offended by being emotionally invested in other people’s personal tastes. They should maybe have a word with themselves about why they’re putting so much emotion into a meal that will be finished in less than 10 minutes. Especially for children.

Just because its delicious to A doesnt mean its delicious to other people, that sounds like my nightmare meal to be honest :( like.. i want to be sick just thinking about risotto in general but then squash risotto... Not my thing and i would prefer a Jam sandwich.

Personally, I wouldn't serve squash risotto as a main course, as there is little protein content, except from additional cheese perhaps. I might serve it with, for instance, lamb chops or sausages.
Also the texture would have little or no contrast or interest.

So in this situation, I'd have been glad of the cheese and ham wrap!

However, generally speaking, I'm all for children being encouraged to try new tastes and textures, and I'd certainly never get into the situation where I was cooking three or more separate meals to accommodate different tastes at every meal.

Life will be full of situations where you don't get exactly what you want, and the sooner children learn to cope with slight setbacks, like being served green beans instead of broccoli, the better.

To be honest I think you were both unreasonable to expect them to eat is as a main in the first place.

For my two one I would never serve that to him - he just would not eat it - he is funny with carbs and hates the texture of rice. For my other I would probably give them as small taste first to then decide if they wanted it or something else

But actually I would never serve it as it is not to my taste (or DH either) so I think expecting 2 children to eat any of it was unreasonable

Go for Jamie Oliver’s Pea and Prawn next time......i’ve never met anyone of any age who doesn’t like it.

And yes, I do check for seafood allergies first.......

My kids ate what they were given or went to bed hungry. Perhaps harsh but I did take specific dislikes into account before cooking

Eat the meal made unless to is something really quite spicy. unusual. The can pick out the squash and have more rice for example. I would not make another meal. That way fussiness will take over your life. No hungry child would refuse.

Curious to know which you are? At a Dinner party with adults, unless they were allergic, I'd expect those adults to eat meal that was lovingly cooked. Or stay quiet, try a bit and fill up at home later.

But with DC all bets are off. I'm impressed that most of DCs there ate risotto ,unless you already knew they liked it, and that only one asked for a ham wrap. Two of mine would eat it (they will eat salmon and pea risotto but yours sounds nice). But one DC wouldn't. And if I forced her to eat something she's tried but says she doesn't like, she would feel or be sick. I've tried (on stricter moments)and it's not by one well!!

All my DC know what they can't continue eating, so as long as they tried it, yes i'd ask if i could make my child a bit of toast or sandwich in that instance, very apologetically but ....

In this house there would be plenty bread on the table, a green vegetable, some kind of desert (though likely only fruit, maybe yoghurt). That plus a few mouthfuls of risotto is fine for supper for once. They won't go hungry.

I've never made alternative meals. I've never forced them to eat anything either.

I would love that meal and so would all of my family apart form the nut allergic DD but I would add the pine nuts after hers had been served.

I used to find option C worked quite well with mine - tell them it is just for the grownups, wayyy too adult for them - and hope they scoff it to prove you wrong!

I am child of parent A and it's been great - I never worry about food. I've trailed round mountain villages in South America eating brain tacos for days, ditto got stuck for a week on snails in the arse end of other foreign parts, you name it. When it comes to acquired tastes...

Food is an anxiety trigger for lots of us, and I think dealing with the anxiety is, as ever when it comes to anxiety, more important than the issue itself. Eat the risotto, end of.

Trying the new food is a must, and then a wrap if it is a complete disaster.

The element of sage with the pine nuts is very ambitious, although butternut risotto would go down well here. Its good to try new foods, but not at the expense of the dc missing an entire meal. I would also stop the wraps if this was a daily issue, but if not, of course you need to be prepare for a plan B with food they haven't tried before.

No way am I making another meal. Here is what we're having for dinner. Eat it or wait until breakfast.

Oh - and I am going to make that risotto for dh and me, sometime very soon - it sounds gorgeous!

Person B is right and Person A is being unreasonable. If they have tried it, they are entitled to something else.

It's delicious and not "out there" or very unusual.

It may be delicious in your eyes, but not everyone will love your cooking or the dish.

I have to say the depressing thing is the number of adults saying they wouldn’t eat it, based on the name alone.......

I didn’t know nut allergic people couldn’t eat pine nuts, by the way. I am glad I do now, for future reference!

I'd be person B.
I'd say well done for trying and then make DS a bowl of porridge (he really likes porridge) or some toast and fruit.

I don't think risotto is a weird thing to serve DC though. Its often a weaning recipe because its all soft and creamy.

I'm mostly with A. Might run to a bit of toast if they had made an effort to eat it, but they would have to wait until after I'd finished clearing up the main meal.

I wouldn't eat any risotto. I can't bear the stuff. It reminds me of cat sick.