About a different meal to the one that's been slaved over?

[breakthepattern]

Person A thinks that's what's been served for dinner (2 adults, 2 DC under 7) is what we're eating. End of. If you don't like it, you don't eat it, that's your choice. It's delicious and not "out there" or very unusual.

Person B thinks if you've never had it before, try it a little and then say you don't like it, it's ok for you to be made an alternative just for you, so you don't go hungry.

Who is BU?

For further info it's one of the DC refusing the food.

It's squash risotto with sage and pine nuts so quite "adult" depending on your perspective / diet.

And the replacement alternative was a ham and cheese wrap, no cooking involved.

What, like a simply cooked dish of vegetables, rice and a little cheese? That sounds like a plan...............

😂

I think there is a balance to be struck between encouraging diverse eating (and yes, being able to eat something you don't like) and forcing kids to eat food they despise and makes eating miserable.

My parents used to force me to eat porridge for breakfast. I would be grounded for refusing. I vomited it up several times and to this day can't be near it without fetching.

My friend was a fussy child whose parents accommodated her every whim. She now won't eat anything but bread and plain chicken.

Somewhere in between sounds good to me...

Somewhere in between sounds good to me...

I don't think any more needs to be said tbh!

My DCs thrived on a diet of Billy Bear and petit filou.

If either of my teen DCs don’t like what’s on offer they can make themselves a sandwich or egg etc.,

If B was my child he would be offered the fruitbowl.

If B was old enough then maybe they coukd make themselves some toast.

But all B offered as an alternative was a ham and cheese wrap. I'm not sure why a sandwich/egg/toast/fruit is really any different?

I wouldn't make an alternative food. If they are too little to make themselves something then I'd sling them a banana or a few slices of bread.

The only real rule we have about disliked foods is that people mustn't go on about how revolting it is. Just calmly say that you don't care for it and quietly go into the kitchen to get yourself a sandwich. Nor should the fans go on about how lovely it is and how you MUST try it because it really is delicious. Eat it or don't eat it, but don't make it the subject of drama.

I serve my kids 3 &1 new food all the time- otherwise how do you develop a taste for a wide variety of food. I will always offer something on the plate that I know they will eat. So if I like you were make the risotto I will serve some on the plate with a side of potato, corn on cob and beans. I’d encourage kids to try a minimum of 1 mouthful of the new food. I don’t make a fuss if they leave the rest. After dinner I offer yogurt and fruit

Mine are all under 6 and I've never made alternative food. I'd include some sides that were familiar though.

I'd never force them to eat it though - they have to try the new thing and then it's take it or leave it

Some people seem unable to distinguish between “Try a teaspoon of this properly and if you don’t like it you can have a bit of cheese and an apple instead” and “Eat all of this whether you like it or not”

DS made me think of this thread yesterday. So dinner was a fish risotto made with salmon, fennel and chilli. I left the chilli separate.

DS sat down at the table and announced it smelled DISCUSTIN! I said that wasn't a nice way to talk about food I'd made but he didn't have to eat it. There was bread and salad on the table. He proceeded to eat three helpings WHILE holding his nose.

So, err win?

If u was giving my 6yr old gdd this I would call it something else. Then tell her what was in it later.
One of my best dishes was layers of sausage.,onions tomatoes and potatoes. We called it Sanfranscisco for some weird reason..

Let’s face it: many people are terrible cooks and their children are used to being expected to eat nasty food. Rather than blaming children for being “fussy”, take a long hard look at your own cooking skills.

It’s hard trying to feed a whole family isn’t it OP, I feel your pain! My kids are older than yours now, it when they were smaller I got used to putting something in the oven like 2 fish fingers and serving it alongside whatever I was actually cooking so at least they’d have something to eat if they didn’t like the meal part.

Now they’re older, (young teens and 1 im Yr. 6) I buy a few of the healthier ready meals to keep in the freezer. They try what I’ve made and if they don’t like it, or if for example I’m making fish which I know one of them will never eat no matter what, they get to veto the meal and bung themselves a TV dinner in the microwave. They get to ‘veto’ 2 meals a week each, and they still have to eat whatever vegetables are on their dinner so they’re not losing out too much nutritionally. It saves so many arguments as the kids feel they have a measure of control/choice over their food, saves a lot of stress for me in the kitchen and negates the need for making/clearing up two separate meals.

B.
In our house you don't even have to try things if you don't want. Food goes on the table in serving dishes, there's always something everyone will eat even if it's only bread or salad. DCs help themselves to what they fancy, no pressure or comment except that you should aim to only put the amount you will eat on your plate (to reduce waste). Fruit/ yoghurt or similar afterwards regardless of whether you have eaten all main course. We have 3 totally unfussy adventurous eaters and meal times are stress free :)

I should also add that they don’t all veto two meals a week lol, it’s just a safety net and isn’t often used. Whatever they leave if they do choose to do so, usually becomes mine or OH lunch for the next day so it isn’t wasted.

Sometimes you have to eat things that you don't like.

@Doje - why? I certainly don't eat things I don't like!

So they don't grow up into adults like someone I used to know, who would gag/say 'yuck' as she passed round a bowl of greens, and ask that a pudding I was making with spices have a bit made plain separately for her.

Our friendship didn't end because of her rudeness about food, but I can't say it helped and it is one of a million things I don't miss about her.

I've been to people's houses to eat quite a few times and had something served up to me that I either actively dislike or wouldn't choose for myself. I'm still not rude enough to refuse it or make a fuss.

Riddley, not the point and sorry to derail slightly, but risotto with salmon, fennel and chilli sounds DELICIOUS! I feel inspired to try making it.

Thanks Nikita - it is really nice. It's from the first Naked Chef book. I think in that recipe it's whatever mix of seafood - I roast the salmon in the oven while the rice is cooking and just fold it in at the end.

"Sometimes you have to eat things that you don't like."

I remember, as a teenager, choking down liver casserole. My sister and I were staying with a family friend - we went for a week every summer, for a few years, and before the first visit, she asked mum if there was anything my sister and I wouldn't eat, and mum said liver - we both loathed it, and when mum cooked it for her and dad, she served bacon as well, and we were allowed to just have bacon.

Mum's friend decided to give us liver pate sandwiches, during that first visit, and as we were too polite to say we didn't like them (we had been taught from an early age to eat what we were given, and not make a fuss, and that it was polite to do as adults told us to do) - and she decided this meant mum was wrong, so we got liver pate every time we visited, and the last time we went, she served liver casserole. It was awful - I only managed to eat it by holding my breath, and dsis couldn't eat it at all.

I think it is good to encourage children to try new things - but there is no way I would inflict on any child what was inflicted on me.

Spriggy

Food keeps in the fridge for a few days, I don't see your problem tbh.
You should try it, it saves so much waste and if there's anything they can't finish that gets saved too.
Dd has had her left over tea from last night for her lunch, she doesn't throw it away.

I use leftovers. I made pasta last night and I just finished eating the leftovers for lunch. Again that is not at all what you described.

If I was offered food I didn't like/wasn't familiar with for days in a row then I wouldn't have eaten for days in a row.