About a different meal to the one that's been slaved over?

[breakthepattern]

Person A thinks that's what's been served for dinner (2 adults, 2 DC under 7) is what we're eating. End of. If you don't like it, you don't eat it, that's your choice. It's delicious and not "out there" or very unusual.

Person B thinks if you've never had it before, try it a little and then say you don't like it, it's ok for you to be made an alternative just for you, so you don't go hungry.

Who is BU?

For further info it's one of the DC refusing the food.

It's squash risotto with sage and pine nuts so quite "adult" depending on your perspective / diet.

And the replacement alternative was a ham and cheese wrap, no cooking involved.

When I was wee we had two choices- the meal that was served or bread & butter and fruit. Nobody ever went hungry and we all turned into good eaters so that's the approach I'd take. Something between A and B.

It can take up to 10 times for someones taste buds to like a new taste.

I like risotto but that doesn't sound appealing to me.

Child would need to try it first as their taste buds may be acquired to it. However if they are told there is an alternative that they prefer chances are they will say they dont like it anyway.

I’m with B.

Why should kids go hungry because A has made something they are unlikely to like? My DH is an A btw. He seems to purposely make things the way DC absolutely hate and, to be honest, I’m not too keen on his cooking either!

First, that is my favourite risotto, so YUM I'M COMING TO YOURS FOR DINNER.

Second, I'm with those who say that unless DC have previously eaten said risotto happily, it's okay for them to try several mouthfuls of it and then if they really don't like it, have the wrap instead.

B

As long as person B is making the alternative then I've no problem with that.

If I've cooked a meal then I wouldn't force anyone to eat it but neither would I be leaping out of my seat to make a second dinner.

I would be A, but like a PP, there would be bread (and salad) on the side, so child could fill up on that. My children were very good eaters, though, so I don't really have any hang ups about them going hungry, as they would have happily eaten the bread and salad, and then fruit or yoghurt for pud as normal.

I think sage especially can be very much an acquired taste. It's a strong flavour and I can easily imagine people not liking it.

I eat almost everything, and even I would feel a bit unsure about squash and risotto and sage all together.

I think the person who thinks Squash risotto is a good idea for 2 under 7YO kids is an idiot.

Something like that I'd make for myself first and offer the DC some to try. If they liked it I'd make it again for everyone. But insisting they eat it all first time is ridiculous. And my kids can be pretty adventurous.

B

It sounds a bit grim. I’d try it if someone cooked it for me and then I’d make something else when I got home!

I would be person B in most cases I think. It may depend whether this was a regular occurence and if I thought my DC were having me on or genuinely disliked something.

I would definitely say B in this case... I'm in no way a fussy eater but squash risotto with sage and pine nuts sounds pretty horrible and I wouldn't want to eat that. Sorry

B. Studies show that forcing/coercing a child into eating food is more likely to result in a fussy adult than make the child like it.

I'm the least fussy eater ever, but I'd only eat that out of politeness. So I'm with person B.

I'm often person A - when it's something I know kids like. But recently I've tried quite a few new dishes and said to kids - this is what I'm doing do you want it? (With a proviso that once cooked they can still try it if they like the look of it). This seems a better approach and mostly everyone at least tries some ... sometimes they then want more and we make it stretch and share the alternative. There are battles to pick and fight and battles not to fight.

And thinking about this more agree that sage is very subjective. I don’t really like it but could probably eat some out of forced politeness. It’s not automatic that everyone in your family likes the same things you do

I agree with B. If it’s a completely new food/taste, I would usually throw on some pasta as well, so there is something the boys will eat if they don’t like the planned meal.

Incidentally risotto is my “chuck it in a pan, put the lid on and leave it” recipe - have never slaved over one!

B

Especially if B made the food.

OP you are obviously person B, and most of us will agree that you are being reasonable and your husband isn’t

I’m with B. If I’m making a new dish that I’m not sure my kids will like, they try it the first time when I cook it for the adults but as a side dish to their main meal so there’s no pressure on them. In the risotto situation, I’d have cooked a chicken breast as the protein and given them a small portion of risotto and then carbs and veggies as usual.

For new things I like mine to try (so option b) but for general fussiness on things I know they like I stick to option a.

Not sure I could handle squash risotto though. I would forgive anyone who would rather have a ham and cheese wrap.

I’m with person A, I’d expect my DC to eat a risotto like that (2 & 6). I hate the idea of food kids ‘won’t’ eat - and I don’t expect them to love every meal. Or even like every meal (although I try!) but unless it’s something they absolutely can’t stand (in our house it’s prawns for one child and avocado for the other that they hate) then yes I expect them to make a pretty good go of eating at least half of what’s on their plate.

My eldest is fussy (and unfortunately completely un-bribeable) so I'd be person C and my fussy eater would have had an alternative already planned he is 6 and as a family we have tried everything so please don't judge

For my non fussy eaters, I'm with B.

Bleurgh bloody hate squash risotto.

If they've tried it and don't like it, I would let them have toast or a sandwich instead.

I wouldn't even eat that so I would make them something else.

In my family, option A. I don't make any alternatives and never have. Mine are still little and sometimes don't eat some things. We're very low drama about it, they don't have to eat anything but that is what is for dinner. So very very very rarely do they not eat a good amount of dinner of their own accord.