About a different meal to the one that's been slaved over?

[breakthepattern]

Person A thinks that's what's been served for dinner (2 adults, 2 DC under 7) is what we're eating. End of. If you don't like it, you don't eat it, that's your choice. It's delicious and not "out there" or very unusual.

Person B thinks if you've never had it before, try it a little and then say you don't like it, it's ok for you to be made an alternative just for you, so you don't go hungry.

Who is BU?

For further info it's one of the DC refusing the food.

It's squash risotto with sage and pine nuts so quite "adult" depending on your perspective / diet.

And the replacement alternative was a ham and cheese wrap, no cooking involved.

Italian children have probably been eating that stuff all their lives, so it's hardly a fair comparison, is it?

If child had happily eaten it on previous occasions, but was suddenly declaring that they didn't like it, then i wouldn't make something else.

If it was a new meal for them, and they'd properly tried it, then I'd offer up toast or cereals so they didn't go hungry.

@breakthepattern come back and tell us who you were a or b?!

Sorry just catching up! Not read whole thread yet but will do now. Will respond to stuff as I can.

@Littlebird88 very good point! And yes this sort of mistake was made. In anticipation of it being a "grown up food" and sort of exciting to try, but wanting to head off at the pass a vocal disgust that would put off youngest DC, that was mentioned.

I think OP is A based on her saying she slaved over the meal and her DH and kids are saying B

@CaptainPovey 😂

@taybert and others with same opinion, yes that's B's stance

I'm in the have a taste then have bread and salad available to go 'with it' camp. I can't imagine anything more grim than threatening a miserable child to swallow down a whole portion that had been dished up to them, but I think the providing an alternate menu on request is not a sensible habit to start either.

My son likes nothing so we just put bread out about halfway through every meal, to make sure he doesn’t starve but minimize disruption. It works well, and he usually picks at the food a bit and tries it until he gets his hands on the breD.

I think squash risotto (or pasta) is rank, as it's way too sweet for a savoury meal. So I'd go for refusing to eat it which, seeing as I'm not far off a human dustbin where food is concerned, is a fairly rare occurrence.

@BeBesideTheSea DH and I happily split it next time I'll let you know

I am a B through and through, to varying degrees.
If it is a new meal it is an accompaniment to something I know they like, progressing on to larger amounts. Or there are sides available that bulk the meal up (breads, spreads, salads etc).

Even if I know they like it I still offer cereal/sandwiches/wraps as it may not be what they fancy. I am not an overly picky eater, dietary requirements aside, but I definitely go through peaks and troughs with what foods I'm interested in as do my children.

As a child I was made to either sit and ear food even if it went cold or starve. I've always hated the texture of meat, and taste, but still had to ensure countless Sunday dinners that has long gone cold because my mother was an A.

Person B.

If it were adults, person A's stance is fine. But young children and I think person B's approach is more reasonable. Not sure if it were teenagers.

Italian children have probably been eating that stuff all their lives, so it's hardly a fair comparison, is it?

Why wouldn’t English children? It’s hardly rare food.

As a child I would have hated that meal with a passion. I think I was a "super taster" as I could taste the differences in varieties of the same food (eg branded vs own brand foods) as if they were completely different (and often disgusting even if I loved the original brand) food.

I think adults who force children to eat food are cruel, but maybe I'm biased as I vividly remember some foods tasting just revolting! Luckily my mum was completely laid back about us having to eat food and I'm the same with my own kids. If they hate something I'll knock up something else quickly.

Funnily enough I'll eat anything these days so I don't think it did me any harm.

I'm with B all the way!

A squash risotto with pine nuts sounds absolutely revolting to me. I wouldn't eat it let alone make a child do so. And I just spent a week in Italy eating pickled lake fish and all sorts. What's wrong with some plainish Pasta?

I would not eat that meal - yuk

I'm A, if the diners have eaten it before.

I'm B if they have not.

The meal planner should have catered to the family's tastes, so if squash, sage, pine nuts or indeed risotto itself were not likely to be accepted by the majority, no one should have cooked it.

I'm an omnivorous adult who is pretty adventurous in their tastes. But my DH cooked a rice dish for the kids recently that, in my very humble opinion, was absolutely disgusting and I am afraid I also refused to eat it and made a sandwich instead. Because it was a one-pot dish, all mixed up together, there was no way to politely eat the bits of it that were OK. It was all contaminated. Risotto is the same so I certainly wouldn't have been forcing any children of mine to eat it.

I wonder how many people who can’t cope with squash risotto eat burgers. World’s no 1 most vile foodstuff.

B

Question for the As out there - what age do you start as quite a few have said that you take into account genuine dislike. How do you know what DC genuinely dislike if there’s no alternative?

I dont like sage and am not a great fan of pinenuts.

People are allowed to not like certain foods. I cannot believe there is any person alive who likes all foods!

A squash and feta risotto yes. With pinenuts if I was hungry - sage not at all.

So I'm B

To clear a few things up...
It wasn't a huge drama. I shouldn't have used the phrase slaved over perhaps.

DH made it, which was unusual in itself, and he worked hard (ish) on it. It was a Jamie Oliver recipe and it was yum.

He did not make a big deal, or much fuss when it wasn't eaten. But he did pose the question of what the right stance is. Should DC be expected to eat what's offered. So we just had a low key chat about it. Not in front of the DC.

I very nearly didn't specify what the dish was, which would have been a good idea as personal tastes have got in the way of the crux of the issue a little i think!

I never make the DC eat things they try and dislike. But I do stand firm if all the ingredients are established but the format changed. Like a PP said, lasagne versus bolognese for example.

DC is not quite old enough to make their own alternative yet.

It's squash risotto with sage and pine nuts

I wouldn't eat that either. Sorry.

If you are going to cook stuff like that you should expect to cook something else imo.

Why are people so proud of not trying new food?