AIBU to take exception to being offered 'a night off' at a wedding?

[SomethingStupidSomethingGreat]

DH and I have been awaiting a formal invite (after the 'save the date' had been sent) for a wedding in 3 months time. We were expecting it to be a child free wedding, which is fine... and to be honest, who 'really' wants to take young children to a wedding?
However, the invite arrived and states
'We love your kids but thought you would like a night off, so adults only please'
... we won't be going as dc2 is bf and an avid bottle refuser so I can't leave her. I don't mind, they are not close family and I have massive wedding fatigue after so many last year... but something has really irked me about the phrasing of the invite. I almost (I won't because I'm only a dick in my head and in anonymous forums) feel like saying...
'Thank you for thinking for us, yes we'd love a night off but unfortunately our dc will starve if she doesn't have almost constant access to my breasts.' (The wedding is 5 hours away).
Full disclosure, I do realise that none of this is the couples fault.
I'm not sure what phrasing would have been better and not irked me? I guess it just grated a bit that actually some people don't have the choice of a night off from their kids no matter how much you love them 😬

@Alx7 misses point of thread

Overly sensitive response tbh -

Haven't responded

pump if

Baby won't take s bottle

you really want to go.

I don't

People want child free weddings for various reasons and they just sent an invite they thought was friendly not they might starve your child (it wouldn't).

Yes I realise this.

🙄

YANBU. It’s patronising and not owning their decisions.

The only way someone can offer me the favour of a night off from my kids is by volunteering to babysit.

@nutbrownhare15 I'm more than happy not to go so will try and keep on the dl! I hope your baby slept the whole time xx

@flowery @AlunWynsKnee absolutely!

It is annoying wording. Like just say you don't want kids there, don't try to pretend you're somehow doing the parents a big favour

@pasbeaucoupdegendarme blimey that definitely wasn't a nice relaxing evening for you. Your dcs gave them sweet posed pictures before they were turfed out I assume.

I really wouldn't have even considered it strange pre kids either!

*@justarandomtricycle
*
"You presumably want to be away from your awful children"

😂

I remember saying no to a wedding as was breastfeeding and was told my baby could just have formula for the day I get people want child free weddings but I don't think they should complain when parents don't want to go. I think the wording was a bit funny but they probably just Googled 'no kids poem', they wouldn't have put loads of thought into it.

That's so sweet of you to think that we might want a night off. To be honest we aren't quite at that stage yet, but I have put you at the top of our list of baby sitters. We will be in touch soon. Thanks SomethingStupidSomethingGreat

*@Saracen *
The couple would ALMOST deserve to have someone respond brightly, "Thanks for your concern but no, we don't need a night off so we will be bringing our 2yo triplets to the wedding."

'And as you love them so much I assume they'll need to be measured up for bridesmaid dresses?'

😂

@NewMum19344567 I expect so.

Wow to the formula comment - but you don't know what you don't know I guess!

@shouldwestayorshouldwego haha! You can't post on my without a full disclaimer!

If mumsnet has taught me anything, it’s that people appear to detest receiving invites to weddings and hen parties. Literally everything is scrutinised, and today it’s the wording It’s a lighthearted phrase to address the issue of no children with no malice intended!

I love a good night off with DH at a child free wedding, I hope to god they ask for cold hard cash so I don’t have to piss around looking for wedding presents and please please let it be abroad so I can have a couple of days in the sun whilst i am at it.

@Pippa12 good for you.

It’s a lighthearted phrase to address the issue of no children with no malice intended

Yes I realise...

but thought you would like a night off, so adults only please'

Shame it was a ‘but’ and not an ‘and’ or I would read that as offering to babysit! Agree with other posters that they should have worded it in terms of their choice to have a child free wedding.

omg, it's 12 words. Ignore?!

... and I thought you’d like to get a jump start on your working day by driving me to the train station for my early train at 5:30, won’t that be great for you? You’ll be so efficient!
Someone actually tried this on me once. Dh nearly bought it!

I know they don’t mean offence but I agree, it’s cringeworthy. Pretending that what they want (which costs you time and money) is actually for you is annoying, manipulative in some cases. Even if we are supposed to know that’s not what they meant.

I love weddings, we've had atleast three a year for the last few years. Husband and I made a deal before dd1 was born unless it was immediate family weddings would be the only thing we wouldn't take kids to. It's Been great. I had to miss to last year after giving birth to dd2 and BF but that's the way it goes.don't let the wording bother you and enjoy your quiet night at home

The wording is a pretty obvious lie. They’re not banning kids for your benefit.

Also, people who ban kids should always make an exception for breastfed babies. Do they really think anyone is so desperate to see them get married that they would starve their newborn child?

Tacky poem. I breastfed dd. In fairness pre child full boobs and the need to pump never would have occurred to me. I wouldn’t have expected parents to leave babies or young children though.

I agree with you OP. If the couple want no kids that's fine but don't pretend it's some sort of generous favour to the parents.

I might consider leaving my kids at their grandparents for a no kids wedding but if the invitation had that awful doing a favour so you can let your hair down phrasing I would sack it off.

The wording is them trying (badly) to justify they don’t want your kids there, or anyone else’s either.

Child free weddings only work when you are one of the first to have children, I would imagine as time goes on the last to get married in a friendship circle wouldn’t have many friends there with rules like this.

Anyway, it’s irrelevant, they don’t want children there, you don’t want to go.

Decline.

I don't think you're being over sensitive.
I had the same thought when we received one of these.

OP, how old is your baby? Will she be on solids in three months time? If so, she could survive without you for an evening.

I think the way they have worded it is fine. Some parents would see it as a chance to have a night off. You can't please all of the people etc etc