AIBU to take exception to being offered 'a night off' at a wedding?

[SomethingStupidSomethingGreat]

DH and I have been awaiting a formal invite (after the 'save the date' had been sent) for a wedding in 3 months time. We were expecting it to be a child free wedding, which is fine... and to be honest, who 'really' wants to take young children to a wedding?
However, the invite arrived and states
'We love your kids but thought you would like a night off, so adults only please'
... we won't be going as dc2 is bf and an avid bottle refuser so I can't leave her. I don't mind, they are not close family and I have massive wedding fatigue after so many last year... but something has really irked me about the phrasing of the invite. I almost (I won't because I'm only a dick in my head and in anonymous forums) feel like saying...
'Thank you for thinking for us, yes we'd love a night off but unfortunately our dc will starve if she doesn't have almost constant access to my breasts.' (The wedding is 5 hours away).
Full disclosure, I do realise that none of this is the couples fault.
I'm not sure what phrasing would have been better and not irked me? I guess it just grated a bit that actually some people don't have the choice of a night off from their kids no matter how much you love them 😬

I don't recall ever hanging out for a wedding invitation just so I could have a night off my children.

If I want a night off, I'll arrange it thanks.

They are just thoughtless and will probably cringe when they have DCs of their own and think back to what they wrote.

I agree, the wording comes across as insincere so it's grating (even though it's fine to have child free wedding and you were expecting it to be so).

Yeah, the wording is very cringeworthy.

It’s like saying, to save you the bother of buying gifts, well just take bank transfers instead. It’s insincere.

I don't mind child-free weddings and would go, or not, depending on what suited me.

This kind of wording does piss me off slightly though. It's bloody hard work - and expensive - to get a babysitter, especially overnight. And if I am truly in need of having a "night off" or "letting my hair down", I want to choose the food, dress code, who I sit next to etc. Happy to leave the kids so the couple get the wedding they want, but it absolutely is not doing me a favour - it's creating work and expense.

Lots of stuff about other people's weddings is a bit wanky and naff though so I wouldn't take the invitation wording too much to heart.

Well actually, I agree with them. If children are allowed, you're more likely to bring them and not get a break. Babies are usually the exception though so you're probably 'allowed' to bring your baby.

Why take offence at this? It's not all about you and your ebf baby.

Why are people so fuckng offending at everything these days?

I think you're being ridiculous.

And I also don't really understand why you weren't bothered and were (presumably) intending to go until you got the invite?

Sounds like you'd made up your mind regardless and are now taking offence

@SlinkyDinkyDoo not 'fucking' offended. The phrasing Irked me. As noted above.

It's a bit obviously false, that's why it's annoying. Just state "no children" and leave it at that. Simple.

@DianaPrincessOfThemyscira no we expected it to be child free, which I physically can't do at the moment so would never have intended to go.

This is more of a eye roll to the phraseology.

@AlexaAmbidextra not refusing to go, physically can't. Not moaning.

@Cherrysherbet 100% that 😂😂

They're just trying to be light-hearted about it. It's completely insignificant.

God people can't bloody win can they

YANBU. By all means have a child-free wedding (I did) but FFS just own your decision like an adult and don’t make out that you’re doing me a favour.

@NunoGoncalves I do think you're right, I'm sure it was intended to be light hearted- and I absolutely get it. I think as others have commented it just feels insincere and they probably wouldn't phrase like that if they had dc themselves. I won't hold it against them, they are genuinely lovely tbh.

@managedmis people can bloody win, they'll have the wedding they want 😊

I'm sure they are 'lovely' and truth is they actually probably don't 'love your kids' at all. I imagine they've barely seen them if they are 'not close' relatives and miles away.

TBH as you said you are 'sleep deprived' and it sounds like perhaps that's where the niggles come from.

To be fair they are trying to kindly say no kids at their wedding without making it sound like there's something wrong with kids. No need to be irked or offended. If you can't leave the baby don't go.

I just dont understand the logic that weddings should be full of children.. they are the least child-friendly events you could think of! We had immediate families children as a compromise (nieces and nephews) but otherwise child-free.

I can sort of understand ch being there during the day but the night do with loads of drunk adults is hardly appropriate.

I don't see why they just can't say 'adults only'. No need to tell me about a night off from my child. I find it rather patronising.

YANBU - it's not 'polite', it's patronising and trying to deflect their decision not to have children there (which is fine) into a 'caring about their guests' load of baloney!

As PPs have said, they need to own their decision and not use such a crap wording! It's pathetic - but not worth worrying about since you didn't want to go and presumably won't be getting hassle over turning it down? Whoever wants to travel 5 hours to a wedding unless it's close family or massive BFFs, anyway...........?

Also OP is your husband not able to go? Our bestman came without his fiance as she had HG and just couldn't make it.

I'm with you OP
People need to own their decisions - "we have decided we would prefer no childen" - fine. It's this twee letting your hair down/we're doing this as a favour to you lovely guests shit that puts it in the same camp as the awful "just give us cash" poems IMO.

We recieved one of these for a wedding 6hrs away in a county we know no one and so won't be going. Politely declined. The groom (DH friend) was quite miffed and sent some arsey messages. Ever excellent DH replied something along the lines of "well in order for your guests to relax and have a good time there are no children, but it will be a lot less relaxing for us to have to leave our breastfed baby at home and worry about her all weekend, while C spends half the time pumping so she doesn't get mastitis, than if we could just bring the baby."

@Whysoannoying Very true. No not worried in the slightest. Won't be any hassle in turning it down. Light hearted nod to the phraseology more than anything.