To think dd should slow down with her bf?

[conceptionpregnancy]

So my dd met her bf when she was 17 at sixth form, and he was 20 at a nearby university.

Dd will graduate next year, and they've already planned to move in together, probably in a shared house or rent a flat of their own.

Her bf is a junior doctor and so will have a decent income in a few years.

THey've already started talking that in about 5 years after graduation they can buy their own place. Her bf is keen to marry, settle down and have some children. She really wants a dog.

AIBU to think that they should all slow down a bit, and enjoy being young?

I'm also concerned that she's sticking to the first person she's dated. Doesn't she need to get out a bit and explore.

I guess, I just don't want her to be tied down in a few years as "the doctor's wife". She's a very bright girl herself..

Yes it is about individuals tunnock its about the op's dd and her partner. Jeez.

OP your view sounds a bit immature. These days young people need to be more responsible and forward thinking as things are not as straightforward as they have been for the baby boom generation.
You should be pleased for her. She has found someone who she wants to be with at a young age who loves her, is driven, smart and responsible. You should be over the moon that she hasn’t decided to waste her youth drinking or taking drugs with disrespectful men who don’t care about her. She is making plans towards a good life whilst young. So many of us don’t find the right person until later, have kids late etc. Be happy for her! He sounds like a great person who wants to commit to her.

My DH is married to a doctor (me!)
He is definitely not just a doctor’s husband! But why would he be? He has his own career and why wouldn’t your daughter?
Half my friends are doctors, male and female and in almost all cases the other partner has their own, very important and significant career.

Tea, I'll just repost my original point and leave it at that. To imply that being in a relationship has no impact on a woman’s career choices and outcomes is naive as you still don't seem to get the point.

Most of my friends in happy successful marriages are the ones that settled down younger.

I think you should let them live their lives and be there for her should it go pear-shaped.

Exdp’s mum was like this. In the end we split after having our child at 19. 20 odd years later she is now very vocal about her wishes- that we had stayed together and married. Maybe if she hadn’t been so vocal about us both ‘having different partners and not settling with our first serious partners’ we would have 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’d be happy if a Dd of mine married a lovely guy at 23ish and enjoyed being young together with him. Better that, than “playing the field” and scrabbling around on Tinder for a relationship/baby at 35.

I do understand your concerns about his job possibly taking priority though. It’s tough being a trailing spouse and it does tend to stymie the career. Has anything he or she has said given you cause to worry about this?

It's not like she's committing to a Pablo Esobar-esque drug Lord.
YABU well and truly.
There is nothing wrong in what she's doing and very sensible, you should be proud not worried.

I understand your concerns, however, there is nothing you can do. Please don't say anything. If it goes well they will resent you, if it goes wrong ditto. Be supportive and delighted if it goes well. Pick up the pieces if it fails. I've been there

Tea, I'll just repost my original point and leave it at that.To imply that being in a relationship has no impact on a woman’s career choices and outcomes is naiveas you still don't seem to get the point.

No, you are the one who doesn't get it. At individual level it is different to whole population and different women have different experiences although of course there are societal pressures.

In any case though it is children who have the impact not being in a relationship.

I really don’t see the problem at all. It’s her life and she’s happy. Having a lot of partners isn’t a recipe for happiness. If she’s found someone she loves, that’s great!! Butt out. It’s her life, not yours.

Whats the 'worst' that could happen. She makes a mistake and ends up divorced. Plenty of us are, and it's fine. You need to support her choices.