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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

dating situation

186 replies

Chrissi314 · 11/04/2019 14:39

On Tue i went on the date with a guy. We sat on the date for three hrs.
Paid for everything during the date, I also offered to pay he didnt accept.
After three hrs asked if we could leave as it was getting late (11 pm) and i had late wake up. ( i think 3 hrs date is also too long, save something for next time if any).

He insisted to get me a cab home which i found very gentlemanly. The cab would be late to arrive but the bus stop was near the pub so i thanked him for that but it was 5 mins anyway to home. So he asked if i had a good night and i said i enjoyed a lot which was true.

He asked me if i want to go out again with him i said sure of course i would love to meet again and he said that i dont sound too confident about it. I said that i really had a great night and i made sure i wrote that on text too that i would love to meet again and i thanked him for the good time. He and i talked about places we could go next time. On text, he said he wished i went into the cab. I again thanked him but anyway the bus came there and then.

So he repeated on text he had a good night and speak soon with a kissing emoji.

The guy has a kid and is 37. The kid lives with his mum. He told me that he is single 8.months now and the last relationship was with his baby mama, but they are over two years now in reality.

I asked him if he is sure he is really over because at the end of the day he is tied with her for the kid and 8 months isnt really a long time anyway. He said he is really over and they talk strictly for the kid and if he wouldn't have to talk he wouldn't. I found that a bit exaggerated tbh. I told him the only reason i am asking is because this is online and a lot of people may lie about stuff. He said he wouldn't lie as he had this experience before being lied too from online so he wouldn't do it.

Just to note here he first started asking personal questions about my situation, dating history and stuff. I told him i had married at 25 for 2 years and then divorced. Im now 32. No kids.

He also told me his baby mama is not a good mum and selfish. I take this all with a pinch of salt tbh.

Another thing that striked me, is that this guy with another guy that had contacted me on the dating site, had extreme similarities. They told me the same things about their life, same area same situation they both told me they gonna move house, both kids the same age, also same chatlines. If this isnt a diabolical coincidence, i would think that these two are related somehow.

The other guy that I am talking about, asked to talk on the phone and he asked me out on the phone call where we said we can meet before i leave on holiday. After the call he never asked me out.

Now it is Thursday and he the guy i dated on Tue, didnt follow up for another date...

OP posts:
Chrissi314 · 17/04/2019 20:35

Well i had already my doubts but ye if someone is unreliable thats not acceptable.
He msged me yesterday first to ask if im still on for today.

I texted him today for good morning we said to meet at 8 pm . Then around afternoon i found that this place that i had chosen to go unfortunately was closed today and if we could go somewhere else.

He answered that he got stuck on a job and said sorry he couldn't be there at the agreed time and hopefully i would let him take me out after my holiday or tommorow.

I told him that if he doesnt want to meet today thats fine and he said he was looking forward to this.

I dunno. As i said i will keep looking. For all i know he might not even be single

OP posts:
MRex · 17/04/2019 20:38

I don't think you get my point. I hope you meet somebody decent soon.

Chrissi314 · 17/04/2019 20:39

Ye i know what you mean, that he exhibited red flags from the get go.
I dunno what to say.
Maybe he has something to hide

OP posts:
MRex · 17/04/2019 20:53

Yes, maybe. It's good that you won't be seeing him again.

Chrissi314 · 17/04/2019 20:58

Dont you think that this today was very weird ?

Why would he blow it like this?

OP posts:
cricketmum84 · 17/04/2019 21:17

Maybe he is on mumsnet!!!

Chrissi314 · 17/04/2019 21:19

My bet is he had another date at the same day and forgot

OP posts:
PineapplePatty · 17/04/2019 21:19

He's not that fussed.

Move on.

Chrissi314 · 17/04/2019 21:21

Well he chased me to see if we are still on??

OP posts:
Ellisandra · 17/04/2019 21:21

He direct doesn’t think he’s blown anything. You’re just a number in a numbers game - you really need to always keep that in mind when OLD. It’s why often men don’t make any great effort - there’s 100s of other women they can message.

Chrissi314 · 17/04/2019 21:24

Ye guess so.

I dunno. He keeps saying sorry now

Maybe OLD isn't the best option. I know it works for some but....

OP posts:
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