House Problems and In Laws

[Mumwhocantfindanunusedusername]

Sorry about any grammar issues I am not great at writing. I will also try not to drip feed and be really accurate...

Myself and partner saved for a mortgage about 10 years ago and planned to buy a small house, PIL had come into inheritance and sold a business so advised they would buy us a family house outright and we could pay them back, avoiding a mortgage and having to start small. We were so happy and had no reason to distrust them so we chose a house, moved in, spent the mortgage deposit on furniture and refurbs ect. And started monthly payments to PIL. (I was stupid to not be more involved, I felt awkward as was such a large amount to loan, I didn't talk to my partner about paperwork becuase once again I am a idiot, he went round his parents so many times to go through things and I stupidly assumed this was him sorting the house being ours and a formal payment plan).

Anyway 10 yearsish later we are at the pub discussing that we are getting a smart meter to save money and they said we can't as it might affect their next tenants or renting in future!

I was a bit bemused but carried on and when we got home discussed it and agreed partner would chat with his dad as we thought we were paying off the house to own, not renting.

In the conversation his dad said the house wasn't ours, that because partner will get everything in his inheritance it doesn't matter anyway and we should trust that they will give it us without paperwork, that we are renting and not paying off the house cost.

My partner loves his parents and doesn't seem to mind that we moved in under false pretences but I am so upset.

If anything happened to them health wise we don't own the house so it would need to be sold for their care and in all honesty people live til 90-100 now adays and I don't want to base my financial independence on dead in-laws. Finally if we are renting and they do live to 100 healthily we will pay off the house twice if not more!

Now we are saving for a mortgage on a small house as my partner agrees we can't wait for them to die to get on the housing ladder. Its hard to save with children and while paying rent and needing to downsize and Im just slightly begrudging that we would have half owned our original house by now if they hadn't put us in this position.

I honestly feel hurt by it all. I feel tricked into moving into a home and renting. I feel angry at my partner as I am cutting back so much so we can move out and get our own home as soon as possible and I'm upset at my in-laws as if they told us they were buying a house for us to rent I would have declined!

Let me know if I am being unreasonable as writing this I feel like I sound like a ungrateful brat BUT of my in-laws get sick and need to sell their houses, me and my family will be stuck and I just wish someone would have told me that was the position I was in!

Furthermore when MIL wants to come round I now feel like I don't have a choice. All the times she commented on the messy house she was obviously looking at her investment and I just feel like I can't even paint without their permission now!

If they actually want you to inherit it it would have made sense to buy it in your name, no inheritance tax, no tax on the increase of value, none of the rent issues like maintenance tofall on them, no potential loss of your home to fund their care.

Instead they’ve stitched you up to maintain (presumably insure) and look after their investment.

They knew this aswell as I once said how our insurance went down now we are homeowners and thanked them!!!

This is bizarre!

So, they must now that this is news to you (you assumed you owned it)-how have you reacted to them since?

Did you not worry that you hadn’t signed any paper work? That your name wasn’t on the supposed agreement?

This is disgusting behaviour. I felt my heart racing as I read this.
OP - you need information.
IS there any paperwork? - find out as much as you can, and you need a serious talk with your partner. If he knew what was going on, he's a liar and as bad as them. If he didn't know, then he's an idiot, and needs to wake up and deal with his parents.
Good luck.

I cannot believe your partner didn’t know all this unless he is an idiot. I’m not much one for drama but I would be telling him you are moving out unless he recovers your losses from his parents. That’s original deposit, you could have got a furnished rental that didn’t need work, plus equity increase.

Then tell him you will be LC to NC with his parents until you can trust him and them. I doubt I would ever trust any of them.

Are you and your partner actually married? If not, that supposed "inheritance" doesn't mean fuck all for you. Your partner will get everything, not you. I would be seething if I were you. You need a solicitor.

Definitely seek legal advice.

but he just can't see past their point that it's his inheritance so we are not worse off.

Show him care home fees and explain there’s a thing called inheritance tax.

Do you recognise how vulnerable you are: You and your children stand to lose far more than your DP.

You cannot leave this as it stands it’s madness

I think, unfortunately, piffle's probably got it - this way his parents get to keep all your their investment in the event of you two splitting up. Let me guess: they also think you're better off spending money on your house than on a big wedding?

Did it not twig when you bought the house that you never signed anything or received the deeds?

To add I am 99 percent sure was done to not give me any money or control. Whether DP was told name would change when we paid off amount or if he thought there was a clause in inheritance who knows. I honestly don't even know if i can be bothered to bring it up! He has agreed we are moving asap, hes sold his games consoles and gym equipment to get our savings higher so I do believe he is serious that we are moving and I don't know if is worth bringing it up again when it doesn't solve anything!

DP is a only child and very much a mummy's boy. In honesty if we didn't have children before I knew what his mums relationship with him was like we wouldn't have got married!

I love him but if she said jump he'd ask how high, no questions,so although it sounds like I must be missing some giant detail I haven't it's just a over trusting only child who thinks that he needed no protection from his perfect parents.

It's not true you can't have a rental tenancy without a contract... A tenancy can arise anyway...

That is really crap! I'd be really annoyed too! It's like you threw your savings down a hole in good faith.

I would consult a solicitor and see how much I can dob them in and screw them over before I moved out, but I'm a very vindictive person.

See a solicitor. I would normally advise entering into arguments like this but you have been royally screwed and there is a good chance you could have recourse via a constructive trust and/or proprietary estoppel to get back what you put in or get a stake in the house. I am fuming for you. Someone has been very underhand and sly and I hope it wasn't your DP. X

Would not normally advise!

This is awful. Did you not, at any time over 10 years, discuss how much you’d paid off of the ‘loan’? How long it’d take to fully pay it off? Did you not discuss what might happen if you wanted to move house before you’d finished paying it off? Also as an unmarried couple, did you not consider what might happen in case you split up? Or if something happened to your partner?

You need legal advice ASAP. They are screwing you over, and when they realise you’re moving the shit is going to hit the fan

We had only been together a few years so I was fully under the assumption would be in my partner's name and was fine with that as I said to him at the time if was our child I wouldn't be happy giving a large some to a newish girlfriend! When he said to them about inheritance tax they said we could sell one of the other houses so as to pay tax and keep our home. I wasn't there but seems like they had a answer for everything. I bought up care homes ect and that was when I think it clicked to partner we were screwed? It's so confusing my head is a mess and I keep remembering conversations with them that confuse it more! They either have some type of memory issue or lied to get us financially dependant? The latter seems more believable due to DP and MIL relationship.

Get legal advice today. I don't understand why you haven't already.
Even if you decide to draw a line under it and move, you'll need a solicitor and refs from your 'Landlord' to move anyway.

You both sound very gullible and lacking in confidence (I mean this kindly), time now to wise up.

Whether DP was told name would change when we paid off amount or if he thought there was a clause in inheritance who knows.

Well he does...

you need to speak to him again and resolve this properly.

From your update you seem to be married which is something at least...

I would be apoplectic in your shoes I don’t understand how you are so calm.

Have you stopped paying them rent now?

I would never count on getting any inheritance until it is in my actual bank account.

Does your DP not realise that he could be left with nothing if his parents needed care or if they decide he isn't worthy and leave it all to the local cat's home.

I hope they are paying the buildings insurance as landlords. They're liable for that, not you. Tenants only pay contents AKAIK.

If you're paying this, get them to start from now. The saving will be extra £££ a year towards your deposit.

Oh and invoices for repairs need forwarding to them from now on too!!! You should not sink any money into repairs from now on!

What a crock of shit, I feel so sorry for you.

Inheritances can eaten up very quickly by care fees, £1000 a week minimum for nursing now and £1500 in some homes.

If that house is there’s they’d have to sell it to fund it too.

OP, it's not your partner's inheritance until his parents have actually passed on. His parents can do anything with the house now.

You really need to get to the bottom of this as nd get the poo paperwork.

I'd cut those bastards off for this.
They are not welcome in your home without formal notice and reason 24 hours in advance.
I would absolutely kick your husbands arse to a solicitor.
And get him to ask how they declare the income on the profits. Honestly I'd call HMRC anyway.

This is disgusting Op and now is the time to get mad.

Is there anything in the house that you need fixed? Message them now and tell them.

When was the last electric and gas safety certificate?

I'd also look into tenancy matters etc