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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

He vlogged our date!

182 replies

AlsoAlan · 08/04/2019 14:06

Hi will try not to make it an essay! NC for this.

So my friend set me up with a guy she knows from her hobby group, chatted a bit online etc and he seemed nice enough so agreed to meet up with him last night. He had previously spoken a lot about how he is really into social media which I'm not really into - we spoke on WhatsaApp but he keeps asking for my Snapchat, Insta etc, he is very into YouTube and kept asking me to subscribe to his channel and watch his top vid which is a Yes Lads reaction video which has around 7000 likes.

So I arrive last night and he is literally filming as I walk in and asks if I'm excited to meet him, how I'm feeling etc. I kind of laugh it off but then am getting increasingly annoyed as he keeps asking for us to take a selfie, messing around that weird dog ear filter thing and the whole time I am trying to chat to him his phone keeps relentlessly pinging. He also wanted to play this weird "20 questions about you" game but said he wouldn't put it online if I dont want it.

So I get home and within literally 5 minutes of him dropping me off he texts me to say "the video" is up on his profile and can I please like and share it??? I go to his profile and he has actually put together a 20 minute video of our date!! You can't really see my face but you can hear me, he says my name several times and my car reg plate is clearly visible at the end. Even worse is that it already has several hundred likes from his "followers" who have shared it to their own Insta accounts etc. He even gave it a title like"xxcVideoGuyWithNoName GOES ON A DATE"!! And he filmed the whole 20 questions thing by hiding his phone behind a menu!

So I guess my AIBU is a. AIBU to be weirded out by this? and b. Is this focus on social media the new norm for dating now??

OP posts:
Theimpossiblegirl · 09/04/2019 19:20

Is he still wondering why he's single? What a dickish way to behave!

MrsMaisel · 09/04/2019 19:38

What a shocking piece of shit he is. You have to be more assertive. What stopped you from saying 'put that fucking camera away weirdo or I'm leaving?'

BobBobBobbingAlong · 09/04/2019 19:50

Report it to the police if he hasn't taken in down by the end of today.

He works in social media? I'd also contact his bosses and tell them he was bringing their company into disrepute by filming women without their consent. This isn't an approach I'd usually advocate but he needs a big wake up call now. Being embarrassed at work might make him think about his total lack of ethics.

Mememeplease · 09/04/2019 20:07

yep, removed today or police.

Catsinthecupboard · 09/04/2019 20:19

He's lucky you don't have a protective big buddy or you're not a vindictive hacker.

BlackPrism · 09/04/2019 20:28

And he won't be getting a second one.

Paisleydad · 09/04/2019 20:49

What a knob.

BrightYellowDaffodil · 09/04/2019 21:00

He works in social media? I'd also contact his bosses and tell them he was bringing their company into disrepute by filming women without their consent. This isn't an approach I'd usually advocate but he needs a big wake up call now. Being embarrassed at work might make him think about his total lack of ethics.

I like this idea.

browneyes77 · 09/04/2019 21:36

Holy fucking crap. This is beyond creepy and unacceptable.

Get that shit reported ASAP!!

He didn’t get your consent to upload that video for a start.

He sounds like a complete bell end. I can’t imagine why he’s single....Hmm

manicmij · 09/04/2019 21:48

Tell him to take the video down. Tell him you did not agree to his underhand tactics. He is weird, very much doubt he ever has a second date with anyone. Surprised he isn't well known for this behaviour.

manicmij · 09/04/2019 21:55

Just another thought, if he secretly recorded you speaking, what and who else may he be recording without their knowledge. The man is dangerous.

tablelegs · 09/04/2019 22:01

I'm understanding why he is single...

JE87 · 09/04/2019 22:08

I feel he needs to get a real life and not a social media one! Definitely not normal!

NoFancyUserName · 09/04/2019 22:21

This trend of vlogging/blogging everything sacred and intimate makes me worry for the current generations.

I predict an epidemic of subsequent mh issues in later life when they grow up associating sm likes and followers with self-worth.

ForksintheRoad · 09/04/2019 23:58

This really creeped me out but rest assured OP, the number of people doing this is a tiny minority In the big scheme of things and most young guys, while avid watchers of YouTube, can't be bothered with actual vlogging.

happymum12345 · 10/04/2019 04:42

I’d be having words with my friend if she set me up on a date with a man like this!
Tell him to remove the video especially if your car reg is on it. Try to put it down to experience & one day you’ll laugh about it.

SleepWarrior · 10/04/2019 06:03

He obviously sounds completely clueless or is an attention seeking user. You were just a means to a new vlog.

But your friend??? Why set you up with the bloke who annoys everyone at her hobby group by obsessively blogging everything and sticking cameras in their faces?! Was it a cruel joke?

user1480880826 · 10/04/2019 06:19

Did you go on a date with a 14 year old?!

Report the video and explain to him that it was a massive invasion of your privacy and personal date.

Monty27 · 10/04/2019 06:24

He's a weirdo and a CF to boot.
I would demand the video is taken down and wouldn't bother with him again. Ever.

Ncforever12345 · 10/04/2019 07:11

What did this guy look like? I'm imagining he's a little chubby with low self esteem about it.
You either have develop a hell of a personality or get famous, a la Mr Tumble. Looks like he's chosen the latter.

Reallyevilmuffin · 10/04/2019 08:29

The other side of this is who watches these things?

cricketmum84 · 10/04/2019 08:34

This is both hilarious and bizarre in equal measures!!

I'm guessing a second date isn't happening then? He sounds very narcissistic. God could you imagine if you got with him and he was doing this all the time? Crazy blogging while you are walking down the aisle... on honeymoon... in the delivery suite 😂

DoctorDread · 10/04/2019 08:43

Yep totally out of order. But the rules for 'model releases' are not always clear cut. That said, as he appears to be the publisher of the content and he's likely to profit from your image you've probably got a case against him. I'd threaten him with legal action if he doesn't take it down.

Ohhellothereladyface · 10/04/2019 08:45

This is just so weird!!!! How old is he?!

ALannisterInDebt · 10/04/2019 08:54

@Ohhellothereladyface

The OP has already said he's 22 and she is 24