to be annoyed at how DP 'proposed' to me?

[FireFaerie]

Sorry, this may be a little long winded..

Last night he got a bit drunk, i came back from work with a few little pressies for him (Cherry pie and a keyring i saw and thought he'd like) He then ignored me whilst chatting to 2 of his friends on the phone and then nagged at me to get in the shower so he could get on the computer. When i came from the shower in my towel, feeling tired and a bit cheesed off that me efforts had gone to waste, plonked myself down in my chair and made a bit of a comment about how cheesed off i was....

He then got down on the floor infront of my chair, told me to close my eyes whilst sliding one of his HUGE barbed wire looking rings from his finger, and said 'Ive got a question that i dont think your expecting' and then asked me to marry him..
I probably wouldnt be so miffed but he proposed to me a few times when we hadnt been together that long and i explained to him that as i already had a child i wanted to make ABSOLUTELY sure that we were doing the right thing, and that if and when he felt the need to propose later on in our relationship i expected him to do it completely sober. Weve spoken about it loads and always went on about how romantic it could be etc etc...
Am i being a mean and sour faced bitch? Do i expect too much from him?

I think this is probably the only place where im going to get some hardcore honest answers.
I said yes by the way, but did also say that i wish he hadnt of had a drink. He then passed out downstairs an hour later.

Oh, forgot that the handing across of ring was the official proposal - first one was 'Look, there's a church, let's get married to annoy your mother'

People, FGS he drank so much alcohol that he passed out!

Does this really count as normal drinking behaviour? At the risk of sounding like a member of the temperance society, I'm staggered that that statement can go by with barely an eyebrow raised. Bingeing in order to ask a woman to marry you is problem drinking, no matter how nervous you are. I'd address that before I even thought of marrying him.

We went to Paris for my birthday. I thought he might be going to propose.

We had a romantic dinner. No proposal. We went up the Eiffel Tower. No proposal (and I discovered he gets vertigo). We had champagne on our hotel balcony. No proposal. He got out a small leather box... I held my breath... he opened it.... and put his cufflinks into it.

Next morning, over breakfast, I got stroppy and said "you know, we've talked about marriage but do you really think we'll ever do it?" and he sort of ummed and ahhed and changed the subject. So I was very .

The we got to the steps of Sacre Coeur, he got another small box out of his pocket, and said "well, you've totally arsed up my proposal, but will you marry me anyway?"

LOL at annoy your mother

Did he really "pass out"? I mean, if I have a couple of glasses of wine and fall asleep on the sofa, I might say "oh and then I passed out on the sofa". Sometimes it's just an expression.

LOL LL

Patience....

littlelupin, that's just dragging it out

My first husband proposed in New York, outside Tiffany's.

We are now divorced cos he is a cock.

LittleLupin
Your story is funny.

I do not think he "passed out" per say. Her post says he went upstairs and hour later her passed out. I think he had to much to drink and slept it off.

i think youre being a tad unreasonable tbh, dh proposed to me on new years eve 2002, he'd got so drunk that he passed out on the sofa, id been working and forgot my keys so couldnt get in, when i woke him up we had a huge row i told him he was a rubbish bf, he threw the ring on the table saying "you wont want this then". i burst into tears and he got down on one knee later that day in front of his family. it wasnt romantic but i love him, he loves me and we had a big romantic wedding. marthamoo's right, its the person not the proposal.

congratulations!

I think you are definitely being to fussy about this. The point is - do you love him? do you want to marry him? If so - CONGRATS!

DH claims there was a lull in the conversation and he didn't know what to say so asked me to marry him...

FireFaerie - he asked you to marry him but perhaps you should -as he is planning to spend the rest of his life with you - explain to him that you would like it if the momentus moments were, well, a little more sober. But there was probably some need for some courage - he has proposed before and you've knocked him back...

He wants to marry you
He wants to spend the rest of his life with you
Just how exciting is that?!

too fussy

First of all CONGRATULATIONS!

My friends dh took her to rome and proposed by the vatican (she is catholic so this meant a huge deal to her)

Another friend'd dh proposed on their favourite sand dune in a place they both love as the sun went down....

My dh proposed when we got horrendously drunk at my cousins wedding and we were watching porn in our room.....

We've all been married four years now and are still as happy as when were first got together.

Each to their own

and yes, I have changed my name ours isn't a proposal that all our family know about!!!

On a serious note, think you have to address this 'perfect romantic moment' thing before you get married - small step from the perfect proposal to the perfect wedding day and the perfect life together - sorry but it aint going to happen! We're all imperfect and a shiny romantic surface can mask problems underneath ... be honest with each other and relise that you life together is the important thing, not the set occasions

Well, I told dh to rephrase his proposal as I didn't think "Shall we get married then?" was quite what I had in mind! In his defence, we were in an incredibly romantic location though, if not looking our best. We smelled quite bad too.

I do know what you mean, FF - it's nice to have a romantic memory of these things. Perhaps you can restage it - go to a nice restaurant and have him give you a proper ring (if you are getting one), so you both can enjoy it again. But most of all, congratulations!!

my bil proposed to my sil at someone else's anniversary party, in front of everyone. told dh I would have killed him if he'd done that.

A girl I used to work with went for dinner with her bf, he'd pre-arranged with the restaurant to have everything made into hearts, the bread, the vegetables, a heart shaped flower arrangement on the table .. you get the picture. And then he hid the ring in her dessert. To me that would be vomit inducing but for some romantic obviously.

My dh proposed on a beach in florida. he didn't dare buy a ring because he knew I would love going shopping for one. perfect, and we had our 8th anniversary on Tuesday.

Congratulations FireFaerie! I think it's entirely reasonable to feel a bit cheesed off about the manner of his proposal, but if you really love him and want to get married, then you'll forgive him I reckon!

My dh and I (for lengthy reasons to do with his family and our respective jobs in different countries) had been going out for eleven years (!) before he popped the question. We were sitting in a seedy pub corridor by the lavs, the night after my cousin's wedding and he just looked at me and said "Well, how about it then?" I can't say I was over-impressed but we've been happily married for 14 years now ....

Just make sure he takes you out for a slap/up lunch today and spoils you a bit ...

my husband proposed to me after drunken sex

we will have been married 10 years ina few weeks time

give the guy a break

Congratulations FF.

My DH proposed while we were in bed IYKWIM.

Not quite what I had in mind but memorable nonetheless.

At least he meant it! My BF has proposed loads of time whilst drunk and when i mention it the next morning he just grins and doesnt say anything!

Congrats by the way

OOh, I know another one.

My friend had planned this great proposal. He booked her favourite restaurant, the band were primed to play "their song", he was going to go on one knee by the window in front of this fantastic view of Manhattan.

He had the ring in his pocket when he went to collect her from work. He was reeeeally nervous. They were stuck in midtown traffic when she suddenly said "oh hey, I got you something" and handed him a tie. He blurted out "I got you something too" and thrust the ring box into her hands . Not quite what he had intended!

My BIL proposed to my sis by the frozen pea aisle in ASDA . Didn't get down on one knee just said 'I guess we should get married now'.

Thank you all for your responses, i REALLY appreciate it!
Im being a wee bit unreasonable, I thought as much..
I do love him, i want to marry him, spend the rest of my life with him. I suppose i know im being unreasonable to a certain degree.
My main problem is that he was actually so drunk that when i asked him to come to bed he went 'yea, im coming' and then fell asleep in the chair. It was the drink.
He knows that i wanted a SOBER proposal. That was my only real dream. When he used to propose when we had only been together a month up until about 4 months, it would only be when he was quite plastered. Hes not a 'raging drunk' but he does drink a little excessively, (i probably do too to be honest) It is something we are cutting back on.
I am happy, im thrilled that its something he wants to think about again, i must have really hurt him when i kept knocking him back, but why only when hes drunk? and as for the romance id just kind of liked it if he had planned it. he did tell me it was something that just popped into his head so he got on the floor.
The notion is wonderful, the method, not so..
I may seem like a sour faced cowbag, but im just trying to sort it out in my head how i actually feel about all of this. Sorry for using you all as 'the helpful voices of reason'