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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be annoyed at how DP 'proposed' to me?

88 replies

FireFaerie · 13/07/2007 09:05

Sorry, this may be a little long winded..

Last night he got a bit drunk, i came back from work with a few little pressies for him (Cherry pie and a keyring i saw and thought he'd like) He then ignored me whilst chatting to 2 of his friends on the phone and then nagged at me to get in the shower so he could get on the computer. When i came from the shower in my towel, feeling tired and a bit cheesed off that me efforts had gone to waste, plonked myself down in my chair and made a bit of a comment about how cheesed off i was....

He then got down on the floor infront of my chair, told me to close my eyes whilst sliding one of his HUGE barbed wire looking rings from his finger, and said 'Ive got a question that i dont think your expecting' and then asked me to marry him..
I probably wouldnt be so miffed but he proposed to me a few times when we hadnt been together that long and i explained to him that as i already had a child i wanted to make ABSOLUTELY sure that we were doing the right thing, and that if and when he felt the need to propose later on in our relationship i expected him to do it completely sober. Weve spoken about it loads and always went on about how romantic it could be etc etc...
Am i being a mean and sour faced bitch? Do i expect too much from him?

I think this is probably the only place where im going to get some hardcore honest answers.
I said yes by the way, but did also say that i wish he hadnt of had a drink. He then passed out downstairs an hour later.

OP posts:
MrsScavo · 13/07/2007 11:44

Oooh! Little Lupin, just read your post. I think the steps of Sacre Coeur is by far the msot romantic place to be proposed to. Luck you!

potoroo · 13/07/2007 11:49

DH proposed on the way to the registry office. He wanted to be sure I was going to say yes

suezee · 13/07/2007 11:51

i got a proposal in the back of a big black cab after we'd been out.....both worse for wear so at the time i thought it was fab

OrmIrian · 13/07/2007 11:56

Congratulations!

My DH proposed in a noisy Irish bar in Camden. And he only did it because his mate had asked his gf to marry him and they were veru competitive .

I recently found the letter my dad wrote to my mum back in 1954 when he asked her to marry him. Something dead romantic along the lines of 'There's something I've wanted to ask you for a while. I've been thinking that it might be a good time for us to get married'

LittleLupin · 13/07/2007 11:58

PMSL potoroo

FireFaerie · 13/07/2007 11:59

There are some REALLY wonderful proposals on here! And some slightly less imaginative ones... most have lead to happy endings, i hope our story has one of them too.. thats all i want, really

OP posts:
Peachy · 13/07/2007 12:04

Congratulations

sounds like nerves tbh. Dont complain too much to him (break his heart!)- be happy!

Dh proposed to me naked by the side of the bed on St Valentines- a year to the day i turned down an ex as he well knew! Nonetheless it was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

Mum and dad only got married at all as the landlady needed to see a wedding cert before they got their tenenacy (was 1968 in Somerset LOL), they've been married 40 years next year. Romance isn't everything, love and commitment is.

Countingthegreyhairs · 13/07/2007 12:09

Ahh .. in vino veritas ...

LittleLupin · 13/07/2007 12:24

Peachy, a female colleague once asked me all coyly (the Monday after Valentines Day) "so, did he pop the question?" to which I replied "urgh, no cheeeeesy!"

The look on her face told me what day she had got engaged on - whoops!

JeremyVile · 13/07/2007 12:40

Did someone mention a proposal on the steps of Sacre Couer?

How very bloody dare you?

If i were the type to get all gooey eyed at the thought of a 'perfect' proposal, which i am not btw, then that would be the setting. Warm summer evening, gold and orange sunset, the sound of the Nuns singing drifting outside......

NOT that i've thought about it, OH NO, NOT ME, like i said i'm not that type of person....

mytwopenceworth · 13/07/2007 12:40

I don't think you are being unreasonable as such, you sound more disappointed that the way you had pictured a proposal didn't happen.

But what matters is not how he proposed, it is that he wants to be married to you.

In any case, it's better than mine, which went like this.....

We'd known each other for about a month btw -

Me "hahaha, X was saying we should get married"
him "Hmmm, we could think about it if we're still togther in a year"
Me "I suppose so"
Him "Although, we don't have to wait if we don't want to"
Me "Eh?"
Him

Me "Oh, I guess, oh, ok yeah, let's do it, why not"
Him "Great"

We got married 2 months later!

So really, I proposed to him. Sort of. I think. I mean, I brought it up.

I'm not really sure.

JeremyVile · 13/07/2007 12:44

Oh and FF, i dont think you are being unreasonable at all. I think he has been u tad unreasonable though. The one thing you asked, that he be sober when proposing, he didn;t do which has now taken a bit of the rosy g;low off for you.

But the main thing is that you both want to get married and it sounds like thats the case so congratulations!

LittleLupin · 13/07/2007 12:50

JV, it was mid-morning, and the beginning of March, but it was a lovely clear crisp day...

funkimummy · 13/07/2007 12:57

perhaps he needed a little dutch courage?

FireFaerie · 13/07/2007 12:59

Thanks for all the Congrats!
Ive decided stuff it, im the romantic one, hes not, im happy, hes happy, and because i know he wont think about it im going to take him and DS out for Dinner tonight, instead of waiting on him.
Fair? I hope so.
Thanks all... I needed to bring feet back to ground. I think there will be OJ with dinner though

OP posts:
CatIsSleepy · 13/07/2007 13:02

well romance is over-rated IMO...

of course I could be saying that because I never had a proposal as such...
dh and I were having a bath together and we started chatting about getting married, and that was that....no bended knees, no ring, no champagne...

anyway, as many others have said, it doesn't matter that much, he did it in his own way so...
CONGRATULATIONS !!

mawbroon · 13/07/2007 13:11

I've had two proposals. The first one was top of the Eiffel tower. I said yes because I felt I had to given the effort that had been put in. A couple of weeks later I changed my mind and we split.

DH proposed when we were camping up north. It was pishing rain in typical west highland style so we were sitting in the car drinking vodka out of plastic flask cups. It was about 2am by this time and he just asked if I would marry him. We drank more vodka from plastic flask cups to celebrate and didn't go to bed until around 4am. It was broad daylight as it was around the longest day.

I know which one I would rather (and did) marry!!

MrsScavo · 13/07/2007 13:18

Congratulations Fire Faerie! Just dont expect him to remember your aniversary.

HonoriaGlossop · 13/07/2007 13:39

mrsScavo I think you are spot on

To save you time and trouble, FF, here are a few ready made thread titles for you to use over the coming years:

Am i being unreasonable?: To want my husband to be even a tiny bit interested in our wedding? He told me he couldn't give a flying f**k when I asked him what colour the napkins should be!

Am I being unreasonable?: To expect my soon to be DH to have booked the honeymoon I asked for? He has left it till the week before the wedding and now I have a week at butlins instead of a kenyan safari!

Am I being unreasonable?: To expect my DH to remember our anniversary/my birthday/our children's birthdays.....

oh I could go on

Seriously though lots of congratulations, I'm sure the mode of proposal will seem as nothing in the years to come sorry, I'm not helping much here, am I? i'll get my coat.

FireFaerie · 13/07/2007 16:40

Just a little update.
I sent DP.. oops.. DF? Is that the correct new term now? eeek
Anyway (sorry mad moment) I sent him a text saying 'Do you want to go out for dinner tonight? Do we have anything to celebrate?'
And he responded...
'Of Course we have something to celebrate!!!'
I think its all sorted. And to make things even better i had forgotten that DS was meant to be going over to Granny's house tonight as they wont be able to see him on his birthday on monday, so DF now has lots of time to just come up with one romantic sentance tonight and i shall be skipping down the road like a loon
Isnt it funny how right about now those threads seem to look really appealing! Bet thats a feeling i will get over

OP posts:
FireFaerie · 13/07/2007 16:42

Erm... my spelling went down into the gutter a little bit then... SORRY!

OP posts:
Peachy · 13/07/2007 17:06

Have a huge for you.

And my Dh did laods fo the wedding stuff despite a chronically unromantic soul- was very much his special day too. even dealt with the errant bridesmaids LOL. and changed the entire honeymoon arrangements at 8 weeks notice as I ahd been ill (DS1 was born 3 months before wedding) and wasn't up to original las Vegas trip, took us on a cruise instead.

Men CAN be good at weddings.

FireFaerie · 13/07/2007 19:48

So glad everything went well for you, Peachy.
There is hope yet then

OP posts:
thomcat · 13/07/2007 20:00

Arrr, well at least he got down on one knee. Buy understand him passing out after is good reason to be a bit hacked off with him.

However, ... there is something to celebrate here, so huge congratulations

I'm not into contrived romance but even I was a bit dissapointed when my DP said 'we may as well get married now' having just told him we were expecting our third child!!!!

funnypeevesculiar · 13/07/2007 20:13

Congratulations FF! Glad you're going to have your 'big night out' - enjoy