To think I should be able to wear whatever I damn well want?!

[Zebby25]

I have no issue being told IABU if I am. So please flame away if I am being inconsiderate and a “bit of a bitch” as my husband seems to think!

DH and I have been together for 14 years, since we were 16. Married for 10 years. We have 3 children.
I had our DC between the ages 22 and 27. During this time I gained a lot of weight (to the tune of almost 7 stones... size 10 up to an 18). Bad habits, not enough exercise, not enough healthy food. Etc.
After I had DC3 I said I was really going to do it this time and lose all of the weight I had gained (much eye rolling from family and friends). And I did. I joined slimming world online, got a gym membership, swim pass, exercise DVDs, some cheap secondhand home equipment... and I worked my arse off for 2 years.
My SIL (husbands brothers wife) is in a similar position to me. Been with DH for almost as long as us, 3 kids, same age as me... she also gained a lot of weight in her 20s - not quite as much as me, but a significant amount.
We spend a lot of time together as couples because DH and his bro are best friends. This Saturday just gone SIL and I went clothes shopping - my dad gave me some money for my birthday and we are going out to celebrate my birthday this Friday, so I want a new outfit. I bought a black leather-look high-waisted mini skirt to wear with clothes I already have ( including black tights - Varicose veins won’t allow for bare legs 😂)
It’s a lovely skirt and I’m really excited to wear it. It’s been a LONG time since I’ve felt comfortable in something other than maternity leggings!
SIL has complained to her DH about this skirt and says she will feel “like a potato” if I wear that and she has to stand beside me all night, and has even threatened not to come out with us. OVER A SKIRT. 🙄
Her DH has spoken to my DH, and DH has told me I really ought to wear something else.
My SIL has complained about her weight since she had her last baby 4 years ago. I asked her to join the gym with me. And she did, but always made an excuse not to come. I have let her borrow workout DVDs (she asked if she could, I didn’t force them on her) which she admits she hasn’t used. I told her about slimming world and she says she wouldn’t stick to it. She likes to eat and drink whatever she likes.
Well that’s absolutely fine, do that - but don’t then dictate to me what I’m allowed to wear because you feel bad about yourself?!
I have dragged myself out of bed 5 mornings a week 2 hours before everyone else to work out, shower and have breakfast before the day “started”. Meal prepped every Sunday. Learned the syns of every snack and meal going. Made fakeaways in place of takeaways. Turned down donuts with tears in my eyes. Been tee-bloody-total!....
I am now down to a size 8/10. Not at urgent risk of diabetes anymore. My knees and back don’t hurt anymore. I can get upstairs without being out of breath.
I have worked really f*ing hard to be healthy and it’s worked and I’m finally confident and happy with myself. And proud. I feel like my old self again - finally!
I should be able to wear my new skirt on MY birthday?!?!
DH says I can wear it “next time” we go out (which may not be for another 6 months knowing us!) and thinks I should spare SILs feelings because I know how it feels to be overweight and unconfident. Yes, I did, so I bloody well did something about it! I didn’t down pints of Stella and glasses of wine and takeaways every weekend! I exercised! I had self control! And it wasn’t easy by any means.

I’m sorry if I’m coming off as a bitch, I’m really not. But I’m a 30 year old woman who has worked extremely hard to better herself, I should be able to wear what i like without it causing a row with my husband and a family rift. Not because I’m a “show off” as hubby says, but because I’ve bloody earned it!
AIBU?? Am I being an inconsiderate bitch or am I right here?

My DH would’ve said ‘No mate I’m looking forward to seeing my wife hot and sexy! See you friday’

I agree with SIL probably only made a comment to her DH and instead of him saying ‘I love you just the way you are’ he thought! Ah I know how to fix this I’ll as DB to tell OP not to wear the skirt!!

When it’s about more than the skirt!! It’s about his wife’s self esteem which isn’t going to be any different it’ll OP wears a sack!

It her problem and her husband wasn’t helping, and neither was yours.

Wear the skirt.

If DH, BIL and SIL don’t want to come because of it, so be it.

You don’t have a wardrobe problem, you have a DH husband. There’s no situation my DH would tell me I have to do anything I didn’t want to, to keep other people sweet.

I doubt she asked her husband to speak to yours and would undoubtedly be embarrassed if she found out he did.

But only the OP & SiL went on the shopping trip, so how else would SiL's husband even know about the skirt, let alone SiL's animus against it, unless SiL told him?

[btw STILL laughing at your moniker @IDrinkAndISewThings - top punning]

Ignore them and wear the skirt. Is your BIL really going to raise this again, phone before you're leaving to see what you've got on?

She's obviously envious of you and has been bitchy towards you because of it.

If your husband or BIL raise it again, just tell them that SIL has made it clear that she disapproves of your choices about food & drink so there is no way she'd be envious of the figure said choices and hard work have given you.

Well done on losing the weight, must have been a hard slog and you should be proud of yourself.

I can understand how she feels, as the overweight one, but I would never dream of dictating what someone else wears (even if I feel like a potato all night).

If you want to wear it, wear it. Well done on the loss and you go for it.

OP, reading the update leads me to say WEAR THE SKIRT.

I also think you need a serious chat with your DH. He should have put your feelings first. I get that he's close with his brother, but that doesn't mean you have to be close to SIL, or pander to her feelings.

She sounds like a bitch. Your birthday, wear what you want. She's jealous, by the sounds of it, and would love to have your self-control, but doesn't. You've put in the hard work and it's your birthday, so celebrate the way you want to.

I'm sorry, I agree that you should not wear the skirt.

You should wear something even better!

Your DH has given you the green light to leave the children with him while you go shopping alone to find something that makes you feel just as good. He never specified that you should go to your own celebration wearing a sack.

Wear the skirt and look fabulous.

what the actual fuck? She actually is so out of line I’d feel slightly concerned about her. What sort of grown woman behaves like that? She sounds about 8.

Yanbu. Obviously.

I think the attention will be on the skirt and not you and it may be awkward.
I'd change it to something equally as sexy and if anyone says anything say "oh yes, the skirt, I changed my mind as not dressy enough".

And so is your dh . Is he normally an idiot?

My DD has a faux leather skirt, as and teams it with a figure hugging polo necked top, black tights and ankle boots. Looks fab.

Wear it! And I say that as someone who is overweight currently trying to lose it, and my SIL is much slimmer than me. She should be happy with your newfound confidence, not knocking it. She's no friend.

Don't wear the skirt - just buy a shorter, tighter, even more fabulous skirt. And a new top too.

YANBU in the slightest. I’m a proper fatty and if I feel like shit it’s my own issue and no one else’s. Indeed I’d find you inspiring and hope it might push me on to think that if I knuckled down I could wear similar clothes!

Well done, I really admire your determination. You must wear the skirt, and enjoy wearing it, your DH is the problem here. He should be so proud of you and looking forward to showing you off. I’m wondering if he’s feeling insecure in case other men fancy you, which they will. He should have put his brother in his place immediately. Sod the lot of them.

I'd be questioning how your DH feels about the skirt, and perhaps about you dressing sexily when out. Sounds like he's quite readily bought into the narrative that this is "unfair on SIL"....

I’m wondering if he’s feeling insecure in case other men fancy you, which they will.

Oooooooh I think you may have it! I couldn’t work out why any sensible adult would entertain this crapola.

Bloody daily mirror! Lazy journalists!

Oh ffs really Daily Mirror ?

Yup! Courtney Pochin should try doing some proper research instead of copying and pasting someone’s post! Makes me so wary of posting any more

She is just jealous. She can't be arsed to lose weight so she doesn't want you to either. Your life is your life. Plough your own farrow. Wear what you want.

Everytime she says something about your eating habits just say something back about hers.

Losing weight and getting fitter can be hard work, but being jealous of other people's efforts is childish. Well done. Enjoy.

Fuck off tabloid hacks!

Anywho, back to the op, assuming she’s real and not another lazy journalist .

I actually would be pretty peeved with your dh. What a load of bollocks. He’s ruined your skirt’s first outing .

This is honestly playground stuff. Or hang on, wasn’t there a bit in mean girls* where Gretchen said Regina told her not to wear hoop earrings anymore because they were Regina’s ‘thing’ 😂? It’s like that. Ridiculous.

*ok I admit to liking this movie... and I have a weirdly good memory for movies, (and mumsnet threads actually - I’m remembering one a bit like this one from a few years ago, but I digress).

Wear the skirt.