To think I should be able to wear whatever I damn well want?!

[Zebby25]

I have no issue being told IABU if I am. So please flame away if I am being inconsiderate and a “bit of a bitch” as my husband seems to think!

DH and I have been together for 14 years, since we were 16. Married for 10 years. We have 3 children.
I had our DC between the ages 22 and 27. During this time I gained a lot of weight (to the tune of almost 7 stones... size 10 up to an 18). Bad habits, not enough exercise, not enough healthy food. Etc.
After I had DC3 I said I was really going to do it this time and lose all of the weight I had gained (much eye rolling from family and friends). And I did. I joined slimming world online, got a gym membership, swim pass, exercise DVDs, some cheap secondhand home equipment... and I worked my arse off for 2 years.
My SIL (husbands brothers wife) is in a similar position to me. Been with DH for almost as long as us, 3 kids, same age as me... she also gained a lot of weight in her 20s - not quite as much as me, but a significant amount.
We spend a lot of time together as couples because DH and his bro are best friends. This Saturday just gone SIL and I went clothes shopping - my dad gave me some money for my birthday and we are going out to celebrate my birthday this Friday, so I want a new outfit. I bought a black leather-look high-waisted mini skirt to wear with clothes I already have ( including black tights - Varicose veins won’t allow for bare legs 😂)
It’s a lovely skirt and I’m really excited to wear it. It’s been a LONG time since I’ve felt comfortable in something other than maternity leggings!
SIL has complained to her DH about this skirt and says she will feel “like a potato” if I wear that and she has to stand beside me all night, and has even threatened not to come out with us. OVER A SKIRT. 🙄
Her DH has spoken to my DH, and DH has told me I really ought to wear something else.
My SIL has complained about her weight since she had her last baby 4 years ago. I asked her to join the gym with me. And she did, but always made an excuse not to come. I have let her borrow workout DVDs (she asked if she could, I didn’t force them on her) which she admits she hasn’t used. I told her about slimming world and she says she wouldn’t stick to it. She likes to eat and drink whatever she likes.
Well that’s absolutely fine, do that - but don’t then dictate to me what I’m allowed to wear because you feel bad about yourself?!
I have dragged myself out of bed 5 mornings a week 2 hours before everyone else to work out, shower and have breakfast before the day “started”. Meal prepped every Sunday. Learned the syns of every snack and meal going. Made fakeaways in place of takeaways. Turned down donuts with tears in my eyes. Been tee-bloody-total!....
I am now down to a size 8/10. Not at urgent risk of diabetes anymore. My knees and back don’t hurt anymore. I can get upstairs without being out of breath.
I have worked really f*ing hard to be healthy and it’s worked and I’m finally confident and happy with myself. And proud. I feel like my old self again - finally!
I should be able to wear my new skirt on MY birthday?!?!
DH says I can wear it “next time” we go out (which may not be for another 6 months knowing us!) and thinks I should spare SILs feelings because I know how it feels to be overweight and unconfident. Yes, I did, so I bloody well did something about it! I didn’t down pints of Stella and glasses of wine and takeaways every weekend! I exercised! I had self control! And it wasn’t easy by any means.

I’m sorry if I’m coming off as a bitch, I’m really not. But I’m a 30 year old woman who has worked extremely hard to better herself, I should be able to wear what i like without it causing a row with my husband and a family rift. Not because I’m a “show off” as hubby says, but because I’ve bloody earned it!
AIBU?? Am I being an inconsiderate bitch or am I right here?

www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/mum-disgusted-husbands-comment-skirt-14252752

Well, I think I'd sack the lot of them off and go out with my friends instead.

I could understand her being upset if it was HER birthday, but it isn't. It's YOUR birthday, so wear what YOU like. Shame on your DH for not supporting you.

Wear the skirt. Ideally with a boob tube (ah nostalgic thoughts)

Yeah she’s a bitch. Being snidey when you’re dieting and dangling doughnuts in front of is just shit. She doesn’t get to dictate your birthday. Tell her she’s uninvited. She can go to McDonald’s instead.

I’d be more worried about your dh not backing you up. How dare he tell you what to wear AND put you behind some bonkers sils hurt pride.

I would send all three of them a message along the lines of “Given that people will apparently have their night ruined by my body and my clothing choices, I’ve decided to cancel my birthday plans.” Then spend the evening with someone else, like friends, workmates or your mum.

I am quite the sulky bitch, though.

I’m appalled that a newspaper has picked up this story, regurgitated it and tried to pass it off as journalism!!

Lazy asses. This could cause so much grief for the OP!!

I wouldn't want to spend my birthday with someone like her. She sounds jealous and mean.

Sack her off, not the skirt!

Your DH and his brother are weak. & your SIL is a control freak. None of it is your problem and your birthday. isn't about their issues.

Well done for your hard work. Go out on your birthday looking great in your skirt. Hopefully with a friend or 2, not this mean-spirited rain on your parade lot

AryaStarkWolf I really didn't mean it bitchy. I was just being honest. I think because I normally read the S&B boards and if OP had asked there whether she should wear a leather look mini skirt there would definitely not be page after page of resounding yeses. It is a struggle to see how this garment could be so envy enducing as to cause a family rift so I thought there must be another explanation.

I'm a 16.... WEAR THE SKIRT! or a bikini, but probably the skirt.

Wear the skirt!

Well it’s your birthday so you should go out with your friends. But if you absolutely must go out with them, then I’m afraid I would t wear the skirt, I’d go out and buy something even more fabulous.

I’d be having serious words with your dh too. He should have told your bill not to be so bloody ridiculous and not even mentioned it to you.

What shits, the lot of em.

Have a great birthday 🎁

Congratulations on your weight loss

Wear whatever the hell you like!

I was a 14 a few years ago and felt crap compared to my beautiful tall size 8 friends. That’s MY problem though. I’d never have suggested they not wear something nice to make me feel better.

Your sister is being totally U. Say 'ok sure I won't wear the skirt '. Buy a catsuit 😂

Go catsuit AND bikini! Remove catsuit halfway through the evening 👍. Can’t go wrong .

That Mirror story is shocking - what lazy journalism to just come onto a public forum and steal a story, and present it as if it were news. I notice that the responses they've quoted are the catty "wear something even shorter and tighter instead lol" ones, thus confirming the tabloid view that all women are bitches who are desperate to tear each other down. Well done all round, everyone...

Congratulations OP! You have done so well to lose so much weight- you deserve to wear whatever you want. Sounds like SIL is very jealous of your weight loss. Ignore.

Omg you HAVE to wear it!!! Good for you! You've worked so hard and you deserve to wear something that makes you feel great!!

@GraceMarks

Tbf, I wouldn’t have joined in with the “wear something sexier” comments if I thought this was real... 🤭

Wow. How dare she is all I can say. She's a jealous bitch and she's making herself look very stupid. I'm going to add one more WEAR THE SKIRT to the long list before me.

Yeah the Mirror story was weird. Of course the original post was described as a "rant", which is the view of women they like to sell to other women. Below the story it looked like there were other stories in a similar vein you could click on. So I guess that is a staple on that section of the website- just cut and paste a selection of a mumsnet AIBU thread. I wonder if all the original posts are fake or whether they cannibalise real threads when they can't be arsed thinking up a suitable OP to get the ball rolling.
Ultra lazy non- journalism but I suppose they must be getting the clicks. Odd. If you wanted to read AIBU-y type stuff, why would you not just browse AIBU direct rather than that bit of the Mirror website. Unless of course you like to read the stories pre-edited. AIBU is a bit harder to read, because there's such an unedited range of real people commenting...you know, cos women are actual humans with a range of different thoughts, opinions, emotions.

(((HUG))) your DH is being the BIGGEST arse here. How DARE he tell you that you are ‘showing off’. I could understand the dim witted fool feeling sorry for his SIL (more likely his brother tbh) and wondering if, maybe, you could possibly wear something else for dinner out with them while promising you a night out, just the two of you’ to celebrate your birthday and your success. Appeasing then but then celebrating YOU! I cannot believe after ALL of that EFFORT he’s telling you not to be a ‘show off’. Is he usually so horrible?

As for your BIL, I can sort of understand him telling your DH how upset SIL is.

Your SIL I can understand feeling like a sack of spuds and crying to HER DH about it, even saying she didn’t want to go...

I wonder though, if SHE actually threatened not to go unless you didn’t wear it, or if it’s one of the DH’s interpretation?

If I had a meltdown on my DH about it I would be MORTIFIED if you & your DH were told about it, but maybe she’s a Diva who would threaten not to go - what do you think?!

All that aside, YOU are amazing. I am very impressed at how well you have done in two years whilst having two smalls & a ft job. Congratulations are definitely in order!! 🍾🥂🌷

Oh and you are not ‘being a bit of a bitch’ about it. Your husband is a disgrace saying that. Utter disgrace.

I am very overweight, I’d feel like an ancient sack of spuds going out with you and yes, there would be a tiny bit of me selfishly wishing you hadn’t lost the weight so that that I didn’t look even worse by comparison (I’m not perfect 😖) bit the other 99.99% of me would be really happy for you, really proud of you and excited for you to be celebrating your birthday feeling so good.

However, maybe that comes with the acceptance of both my health issues and age (I’m in my 40’s). At 30 it might have been a more 70/30 mix!

Still, I would have cried to DH & slapped a smile on. I would NOT have ruined your birthday.

Whatever though re BIL & SIL, for ME the issue is your DH.

Why are you even going out with them on YOUR birthday anyway? Where are YOUR friends in all of this?

Just so bizarre how many people think this skirt, that sounds frankly horrible, is the pinnacle of fashion and clearly the only way to celebrate your new figure despite causing vicious jealousy from all who see you in it. Leather look mini skirt people.