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Original poster

Other parents & my house rules (sort of lighthearted)

389 replies

lyralalala · 07/04/2019 15:37

Don't you just love it when other parents decide your rules don't apply to their child?

We're having a sleepover in the holidays for my twin girls birthday. As there is a mix of kids coming of 15, 16 and 17 (the joys of a small village means their mates are a mix of age) I've made clear two rules. If folks don't want to play by the rules then they can either not come, or can leave when some other folks are leaving (the ones that don't want to stay or can't stay because of things on the next morning).

After midnight phones go onto the kitchen counter for charging/to be left. There's 10 of them crashing in the living room, mixed group, so I'm sticking to the sleepover rule of 'no phones' that I've always had.

Secondly although they are allowed the occasional drink I've said they can have 3/4 beers or ciders each max. Cans or bottles only (can't be mixed with anything). No spirits. No huge bottles of anything. It's the same rule I've had for parties since my DS was old enough to have a couple of drinks.

One Mum has decided "I've told her she can keep her phone as she is worried she might want picked up". Erm, no. They can access their phones by going into the kitchen, but no phones in the sleeping area after midnight.

Another has announced that her 16yo prefers vodka and coke so she'll just send her with a premixed bottle. Erm, again, nope. No spirits, and certainly no massive bottles of anything that could have sodding anything in.

It's fair enough to decide your child is not allowed to do something (there's a couple coming that are not allowed to drink and that I understand and support) at someone's house, but not that they are allowed to do something the hosting parent has said no too!

OP posts:
PyongyangKipperbang · 09/04/2019 17:21

So care to expand on where the kids will get this high alcohol stuff from?

Given that they can't buy it themselves and the OP has said that the parents have to authorise consumption, I would love to know how you think they will rock up with 4 cans of White Lightening or whatever, and no one saying a word.

Lets face it, beer and cider is, to most people, carling or fosters.....4% or so. Or Dark Fruits or Strongbow, again 4% ish.

I cant help thinking that some of you are absolutely determined to prove, by making up all sorts of crap if necessary, that this sleep over will be a bacchanalian orgy that would put the last days of Rome to shame! You all have such a shock coming to you when you can no longer control your little darlings, take it from one who has 2 in their twenties and three teenagers......

Apoiads · 09/04/2019 17:22

@Soupdragon - No I think their parents will buy them 2 cans of Magners. Confused

No, the child will be sent in with the money to buy their own drink. Daddy might ask, did you make sure it's cider or beer? Yes, of course, it's called K cider. See! I'm a good girl Daddy!

SoupDragon · 09/04/2019 17:24

Dark Fruits has been the drink of choice for my DSs (they are old enough to buy their own now so I've done the whole "parenting through the early drinking years" thing twice now. Both have come out the other side without an alcohol problem)

Apoiads · 09/04/2019 17:24

Or Daddy gets brought in, child spies K cider and says - 'ooo, I like the black colour of that can'. Dad goes, ok, lets get that then.

SoupDragon · 09/04/2019 17:24

No, the child will be sent in with the money to buy their own drink.

How are they buying this exactly?

Apoiads · 09/04/2019 17:25

I'm just trying to prove the point that the ban on the type of alcohol is stupid.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/04/2019 17:25

Apoiads

I assume you can read enough to work out that there is not a single person going over the age of 18? So I ask again, where the hell do you think that they will get this strong cider you are convinced (despite no evidence whatsoever) they are going to be drinking?

Apoiads · 09/04/2019 17:26

They go to small shops.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/04/2019 17:27

Or Daddy gets brought in, child spies K cider and says - 'ooo, I like the black colour of that can'. Dad goes, ok, lets get that then.

You really dont think much of anyone else but yourself do you?

Again, with no evidence whatsoever, daughter is a manipulative little madam and Daddy is a fucking idiot Hmm

SoupDragon · 09/04/2019 17:27

I'm just trying to prove the point that the ban on the type of alcohol is stupid.

You read the whole thread right? Including the bit yesterday when the OP says she didn't realise you could by pre mixed cans of spirits and that she would be reviewing her rules? Her ban was based on a child bring a bottle of coke with vodka mixed in and having no idea of the strength.

Of course, you'd know all this having read the whole thread.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/04/2019 17:28

Well done, you have won Star of the Week in making shit up and sounding dumb.

SoupDragon · 09/04/2019 17:29

Have you actually parented a teen through the pre-18 drinking years or are you just making it all up?

Apoiads · 09/04/2019 17:29

Oh I've read the whole thread. Including where the OP is not going to revise her ban on vodka alcohol for this time as it would open negotiations.

Apoiads · 09/04/2019 17:31

I've also been a teenager! I used every tactic known to man to obey the rules while getting as much alcohol as I could into me.

SoupDragon · 09/04/2019 17:34

You do understand the difference between being a teenager and parenting one don't you?

Apoiads · 09/04/2019 17:35

I've also found that when there was a limitation put on drinks, I would immediately go for high alcohol stuff to get myself as hammered as possible as soon as possible. and then fall asleep
I'd prefer a party where I provided the alcohol and could measure shit out. If Sarah keeps coming back for a top up of the Sangria while looking green, I'd suggest a glass of water and a sausage roll or a carrot stick and hummus if I was a proper MNER

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/04/2019 17:36

Well may I suggest that rather than projecting your own issues, you actually look at the facts.

Apoiads · 09/04/2019 17:36

Yes I do. Which is why I know every trick in the book.

RhubarbandGin · 09/04/2019 17:36

This is one of the oddest threads I've read in a long time! I'm guessing a lot of posters do not have older teenagers, or just don't live in the real world.

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/04/2019 17:37

You do understand the difference between being a teenager and parenting one don't you?

I think the suggestion of Sangria at a teens party clearly shows that the answer is "No" :o

sillysmiles · 09/04/2019 17:38

Before I get RTFT I haven't read it all - but I finding it mad all the pp who are shocked that the DC aren't allowed have their phone on them at night. Why would they possibly need it? It's like the OP has suggested severing a limb!

YemenRoadYemen · 09/04/2019 18:55

I'm just trying to prove the point that the ban on the type of alcohol is stupid.

You're doing a bad job.

And why would anyone serve something like sangria at a party, that's impossible to units and quantities?

Reminder: the OP has held parties like this for kids before. It works just fine.

YemenRoadYemen · 09/04/2019 18:55

*impossible to track

Witchtower · 09/04/2019 19:01

Everyone’s being a bit harsh on Apoiads.

I think 2 drinks max is appropriate. Everyone is looking at this from their teenagers point of view when maybe you should be looking at it through your own eyes when you were a teen. My experience was prob OTT but still possible, probably not the case in OP’s case.

I don’t think anyone can deny that 4 cans (whether max or not) will get a 15-17yo pissed. Allowing them to drink as a treat is one thing but actively allowing them to get pissed is another thing.

The fact OP had to tweak rules from previous years means that not all went well in the past. The fact she feels she needs to stay awake all night means she does not trust them.

42andcounting · 09/04/2019 19:02

*Apoiads

They go to small shops.
*

You're an eejit. I work in a small shop, ID25 still applies. If you don't ID check the fine applies to the employee, not the business. No-one I know on minimum wage cares enough about not upsetting teens to risk having to pay for the offence themselves. Also, as an independent retailer my boss can give me the freedom to reply to the bloke who demands "are you taking the piss?" when I ID him with "No mate, I'm not, but you are. Bring your ID next time" Grin Oddly, she doesn't want to lose her booze licence for the sake of some gobby 21 year old who cba to carry his driving licence.

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