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Other parents & my house rules (sort of lighthearted)

389 replies

lyralalala · 07/04/2019 15:37

Don't you just love it when other parents decide your rules don't apply to their child?

We're having a sleepover in the holidays for my twin girls birthday. As there is a mix of kids coming of 15, 16 and 17 (the joys of a small village means their mates are a mix of age) I've made clear two rules. If folks don't want to play by the rules then they can either not come, or can leave when some other folks are leaving (the ones that don't want to stay or can't stay because of things on the next morning).

After midnight phones go onto the kitchen counter for charging/to be left. There's 10 of them crashing in the living room, mixed group, so I'm sticking to the sleepover rule of 'no phones' that I've always had.

Secondly although they are allowed the occasional drink I've said they can have 3/4 beers or ciders each max. Cans or bottles only (can't be mixed with anything). No spirits. No huge bottles of anything. It's the same rule I've had for parties since my DS was old enough to have a couple of drinks.

One Mum has decided "I've told her she can keep her phone as she is worried she might want picked up". Erm, no. They can access their phones by going into the kitchen, but no phones in the sleeping area after midnight.

Another has announced that her 16yo prefers vodka and coke so she'll just send her with a premixed bottle. Erm, again, nope. No spirits, and certainly no massive bottles of anything that could have sodding anything in.

It's fair enough to decide your child is not allowed to do something (there's a couple coming that are not allowed to drink and that I understand and support) at someone's house, but not that they are allowed to do something the hosting parent has said no too!

OP posts:
cloudymelonade · 09/04/2019 00:23

Your rules make zero sense to me but they are your rules, they need to respect them or not come.

Just bear in mind there will 100% be spirits sneaked in bags, unless you're planning on operating some kind of bag search policy...

motherheroic · 09/04/2019 00:26

I don't see how people were confused about the phone thing. A group of drunk kids in compromised positions do not need recording/photographed.

Not to mention all the noise of them shouting into their Snapchat camera or Instagram live feed.

YemenRoadYemen · 09/04/2019 01:11

unless you're planning on operating some kind of bag search policy...

Well, she did say she was going to do that, so if you'd RTFT....

YemenRoadYemen · 09/04/2019 01:14

@Mymomsbetterthanyomom - the OP has managed to avoid the slammer so far employing these rules, so 🤷🏻‍♀️

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/04/2019 01:45

This is the kind of parent that lands herself in prison for providing minors with alcohol.She thinks that they will be safe in her own home so it's ok.But doesn't have the brains to consider the bad things that can come with it.Teens are stupid and they drink until they black out.Mama thinks she is the only one providing the alcohol,ummmm nope!!Kiddos are bringing it too.And they just might sneak out and get behind the wheel of a car.Just imagine all that comes with that!!!
What kind of mother would rather be the "Party Mum" instead of actually loving her own children and telling them they can drink alcohol when they are old enough and it's legal???

Well done. You have hit The Stupid Jackpot.

joyfullittlehippo · 09/04/2019 03:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kingk1 · 09/04/2019 03:47

I would certainly not allow alcohol, is it legal for 15 / 16 year old to drink alcohol where u live?
Regarding ur hse rules, u are spot on. Your hse ur rules you are responsible for those who are staying in ur home.

joyfullittlehippo · 09/04/2019 04:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Baxdream · 09/04/2019 05:00

Op
I absolutely think you have explained your rules so well. I applaud you for putting rules in and sticking to them.
I absolutely think the other parents are being unreasonable. Your house your rules!

I actually think your rules are great. Let's remember we all tried alcohol as a teen and what better way than in a safe environment

PyongyangKipperbang · 09/04/2019 05:17

I would certainly not allow alcohol, is it legal for 15 / 16 year old to drink alcohol where u live?
Regarding ur hse rules, u are spot on. Your hse ur rules you are responsible for those who are staying in ur home.

Learn spelling, grammar and syntax, then we'll talk

Bemusedagain · 09/04/2019 05:41

Bloody hell! Where do you live? I can’t handle 3/4 beers now let alone when I was that age!! I’d not be letting my kid come to that party. That’s surely not normal. Whatever happened to a trip to the cinema with some popcorn for a birthday. Sounds like you’re hosting an orgy! How bizarre. Do you live in some weird country where that’s normal?

Bemusedagain · 09/04/2019 05:44

and very amusing that this thread came up underneath another thread about being accused of having a drinking problem.

YemenRoadYemen · 09/04/2019 05:52

Whatever happened to a trip to the cinema with some popcorn for a birthday.

Yeah, my 8 and 10 year old would probably enjoy that.

How old are your kids?!

Witchtower · 09/04/2019 07:22

I’m still a bit shady about the alcohol but I’m sure its probably not as sinister as we are making it out to be. 3-4 is too much as they will be pissed. I think 2 would prob be the max. But OP house, OP rules.

Regarding the phone rule. I read it and thought wtf. After thinking about it, it is actually genius!!! Will def be using this rule in the future.
The children have access to their phones if they need them but stops the antisocial behaviour and any filming of stupidity.
This is actually the most responsible rule I have heard of.

I work in education and the amount of issues that occur around social media/messaging apps are shocking. In fact most of the children at this party probably can’t legally use WhatsApp. This is where the law pisses me off. Children can legally get pissed at home but can’t use a messaging app.

I’m so lucky camera phones weren’t around when I was younger 😊

SoupDragon · 09/04/2019 07:55

is it legal for 15 / 16 year old to drink alcohol where u live?

Assuming the OP lives in the U.K. then yes. Where do you live?

SoupDragon · 09/04/2019 07:56

Sounds like you’re hosting an orgy!

Odd kind of orgy with a bunch of girls and two gay boys. What sort of orgies do you go to?

SoupDragon · 09/04/2019 07:59

Unless they are having sex with each other

I was waiting for someone to say that Hmm

Why the hmm face??

Dolookbackinanger · 09/04/2019 08:06

It might be legal but it’s irresponsible. As the OP has said she lives in a village, presumably there is little else that the teenagers are interested in doing than drinking and phones, but it’s sad. Drinkers breed drinkers unfortunately but I don’t think this is a case of “party mom”, I think this is just what some people do.

YemenRoadYemen · 09/04/2019 08:13

Sorry, but the OP is not being irresponsible.

She is doing way more than both permissive parents and super-strict parents would do.

sofato5miles · 09/04/2019 08:23

Some of these responses really serve as a reminder that there is nowt as queer as folk.

Where do all these people hide in RL?

SoupDragon · 09/04/2019 08:27

It might be legal but it’s irresponsible

How is saying "your child can bring up to 4 cans of beer/cider" irresponsible?

Drinkers breed drinkers

This is not true either. Plenty of children with non drinking parents go way off the rails when given their "freedom" and plenty of children of heavy drinkers vow never to touch it. The only thing that breeds drinkers is an unhealthy relationship with alcohol.

HotpotLawyer · 09/04/2019 08:42

“As the OP has said she lives in a village, presumably there is little else that the teenagers are interested in doing than drinking and phones,”

Oh don’t be ridiculous.

What about glue sniffing in the bus shelter?

HotpotLawyer · 09/04/2019 08:44

This thread has become ludicrous now, between the posters who haven’t RTFT and those with no experience of teens and /or mad evangelical and misinformed views on alcohol management and legality.

jwpetal · 09/04/2019 08:47

We have the rule of no phones in the sleeping area. If a child cannot do this, then I ask the parent to collect them at a pre planned time. That means they are to young to have a sleepover and just need time. That is fine. Phones in the sleeping area are a nightmare.

Wow, drinks allowed and 3-4? I can't do more than 2 without going over the edge. I am not sure about the mixed drink one. I think teenagers, drinks and a sleepover is either very brave or very stupid. Would like to know how this turns out.

Witchtower · 09/04/2019 08:50

@HotpotLawyer lets be honest the legalities are pretty stupid.

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