AIBU to think this holiday is too much?

[tootlepootleschmootle]

DH has planned a trip for this summer, wants to book flights before prices go up. I think flight times are silly with our DS, and too much in such a short amount of time. He thinks I'm BU and boring, should I just do it?

Flight to Spain 5am, we would have to get 20mo DS up at 2am to do this. Four days in Spain before flight to Porto. Half a day there and two hour train to Lisbon, two days there. Fly to Vienna at 9pm for one and a half days, before hiring a car and driving half way to Slovenia, staying in air b n b, waking up and continuing drive to Slovenia where we stay for two days before flying home to airport far from our home, which gets in at 6pm, and then requires a four hour train (or 2 and a half hours if he can convince MIL to drop us at another station from the airport)

I'd be happy with a week in Cornwall with DS. I'm happy to go somewhere more exciting, but can't help feel it's all a bit much, but DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

He’s being very nieve.....

Your DH sounds like an ass... forget the crazy itinerary I couldn’t get over him calling you boring and saying that maybe you shouldn’t be together!

He's crazy. Go on a short weekend away. Any place. Let him find out first hand how ridiculously difficult this will be.

I predict Cornwall in your future.

Does he realise that even a short haul simple single trip to Spain for example takes all day, factoring in travelling to the airport, waiting at the airport, waiting on the plane, waiting to get off the plane, waiting at passport control, waiting for luggage, then getting transport to the location, even with no delays whatsoever (unlikely) a single trip alone is exhausting and frankly pretty boring. Doing that many times within 10 days? You will have had enough by night 1.

It sounds hellish! Just repeatedly stressful travel plans. No idea why he thinks this is a good idea!

If course YANBU! The travel plans sound awful - it’s just too much! And we travelled a lot with our baby and toddler kids, but never like this.

Your husband sounds like a dick saying things he’s said to you - has the penny dropped yet that lifestyles need to change when people become parents? Or is it too much for him already and he’s just looking for an excuse to resume his bachelor life?

Whatever happens, don’t get bullied and manipulated into doing things that you know perfectly well will be no good for you and your child, just to please someone else. It’s not going to be easy, but neither is that ‘holiday’.

💐

YANBU- it's madness and will be a nightmare with a toddler! Wait 10 years!

Does he think he's in a Jason Bourne film?

I literally was having heart palpitations just reading that

Sorry I just couldn’t, your hubby is a idiot if he thinks that’ll be a holiday with a child

You can have an adventurous time by visiting fewer places in one holiday! The itinerary is bonkers with a baby or toddler in tow...! Plus, you will all be shattered by the time you get back! I speak from experience.....

I'm exhausted reading that.

That would leave me shattered never mind a bloody baby!

Is he OK? Truly ... is your husband OK?

This is one of those scenarios where I would thoroughly enjoy packing my husband off with a toddler and letting him try to fulfil his plans, not sure who would have the worse time - him or the baby.

BTW, Devon sounds lovely!

Compromise is absolutely essential for a mutually beneficial relationship. A single destination is just about manageable for all of you to hopefully have an enjoyable holiday. Keep it as simple as possible.

Or takes two to tango - I’d suggest to him that you’re happy if he and DS do it but you won’t be going!

It's grounds for divorce - unreasonable behaviour.

Tell your DH you are sure he and DS will have a whale of a time off gallivanting around Europe together while you put your feet up at home for the duration.

His look of bewilderment will tell you that he expects you to facilitate this little adventure by doing all the donkey work with the baby while he gets maximum benefit from all the sites and cities you are all being dragged to.

Ugh..... You lost me at Lisbon.
You go to Cornwall, let him go on his merry go round and tell him to send you postcards.

Sounds awful. tell him, fine 'divorce me BUT I AM NOT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY FOR DRAGGING OUR BABY THROUGH THAT. WHAT IF HE PICKS SOMETHING UP AND GETS ILL. NO WAY.

You have your holiday, and I have a week in Cornwall with DS. How does that sound?

It is probably what he really wants, anyway.

That isn't an outlandish possibility at all sophe.

Friends of mine went on a week's long holiday to Italy last year and ended up staying ten days - on camp beds in their DS's hospital room.

I wouldn't do that without my 22 month old DS. And I definitely wouldn't do it with him. Is your DH trying to check boxes on how many places you can visit! Jeez. He's nuts! Tell him to go without you..,.

Not sure how he got that far without you being involved. Maybe he knows you wouldn't be interested but knows someone who will.

So many replies here saying the same thing, (and I agree) - haven’t RTFT but what holidays have you already been on together since having DS, or even before?

Sounds like the kind of travel you’d do travelling light and staying at hostels, Tell him it’s not that you are boring and don’t want to travel with a toddler (i agree with him that it can be fine) but I would point out that he hasn’t planned this trip as if travelling with a toddler, never mind an adult that itinerary sounds exhausting, remind him of the practicalities - no point in two day stop overs you will need a day to recover at least!! tell him the places are dull and you’d like to save and go somewhere like Bali 😉 and that meanwhile you want to travel round the U.K. or do a short hop somewhere to see what sort of issues you’d come across travelling with a little one

No yanbu. We interrailed with our boys and do that kind of holiday a lot cos we are not really sitting on a beach types but they were a lot older than your wee one. I suggest a cruise. It’s brill. You get to see loads of places without moving from your luxury room! There is fantastic childcare, tonnes of free food, entertainment and some of the stops are to places that you would find hard to get to otherwise. Eg we did the Baltic and if we had not been on a ship we would never have seen all the places we did

We have travelled a lot with small children, but that is a difficult trip. I would say cut back on the number of changes and stay longer in one place. The little ones need some familiarity.

Your DH is a twat.
Does he play golf by any chance? Lol