AIBU to think this holiday is too much?

[tootlepootleschmootle]

DH has planned a trip for this summer, wants to book flights before prices go up. I think flight times are silly with our DS, and too much in such a short amount of time. He thinks I'm BU and boring, should I just do it?

Flight to Spain 5am, we would have to get 20mo DS up at 2am to do this. Four days in Spain before flight to Porto. Half a day there and two hour train to Lisbon, two days there. Fly to Vienna at 9pm for one and a half days, before hiring a car and driving half way to Slovenia, staying in air b n b, waking up and continuing drive to Slovenia where we stay for two days before flying home to airport far from our home, which gets in at 6pm, and then requires a four hour train (or 2 and a half hours if he can convince MIL to drop us at another station from the airport)

I'd be happy with a week in Cornwall with DS. I'm happy to go somewhere more exciting, but can't help feel it's all a bit much, but DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

I don't understand why you would try to get around all those different countries in one go? You won't have enough time to see anywhere properly. May be Spain and Portugal this year (2 venue holiday- a week at each) and Slovenia/ Austria next year?

Alternatively if he wants to visit several different places over the course of one holiday what about a cruise! At least you wouldn't have to keep packing / unpacking!

I've only read the first few posts (apologies, I will go back and read the rest of the thread) but having read the opening post, I was thinking that I'd need a holiday to recover from that holiday.

I'll go back now and see what has been posted on the thread since it Saturday

I’ve just spent a year travelling round the world with my kids. They are primary school aged and we still found that 4 days in one place was really the minimum. Travel days are just about packing/unpacking, getting to/from the airport etc. So, even without the toddler, that schedule would mean you’d never really see anywhere, just tick in off the list.

Oh lord, made me stressed just reading about it! There’s no way I’d agree to that with or without a child. Too hectic and no chance to relax and properly enjoy any of the locations.

Wow! Great trip but not with a toddler.

I can highly recommend slovenia - it’s truly beautiful and we got engaged at lake bled and travelled round the country for 11 days. I would maybe do that holiday with a toddler as it’s really easy to drive in Slovenia and a it’s a small, quiet and safe country but not as part of a massive trip of different countries!!! Spain is also miles from those other countries. Would be different if they were maybe all next door to each other.

You defo need to put your foot down as that would not be a holiday with such a small child and all that travelling!!

Christ, I wouldn't have done that trip as a uni student! Sounds bloody awful, OP!

I think it completely depends on your and DPs attitude. I would love this, sadly, my DP and DS get bad travel sickness, so my wanderlust has to be contained to one flight only!

I'm guessing DH isn't much of a hands-on dad? Because if he was then he would know how much hassle this trip could be if your DS was teething, unsettled, out of sync with sleeping because of time differences/travelling, etc. …

I'd do a trip like this but not with children.

And as for his comment about you shouldn't be together if you weren't up for things like this … my response would be … I wouldn't have married you and had children with you if I knew you were going to be so self-centred and act as though it's all about you and what you want to do.

Let him go on his own. And you book somewhere that caters for single parent families where there's lots of support and appropriate activities for you both to enjoy.

Sounds tiring, especially with a 20month old! I was just reading the first two lines to my partner and he said no that's too much!

I've caught up now. It's absolutely insane to do this with a toddler.

When we had one child we went on a package holiday to Lanzarote. It had a kids club. We did organised day trips but nothing even remotely close to what your H is planning.

When we had two kids, (and they were both still quite young), we did a different package holiday, this time to Majorca. Both were holidays for DH and I where we didn't have to cook or do any housework and we could relax by a pool, wear shorts and swimwear and enjoy ourselves.

What your H is suggesting sounds like something a pop star would do to make it to concerts on a schedule.

The way the holiday skips from Spain to Portugal (no issues there) and then to Austria and Slovenia made me think of that episode of friends where Rachel made the shepherd's pie/trifle combo because she didn't realise a page had been lost from the recipe book she was using.

I was like, hang on, he's missed a bit, if you're doing a tour from Portugal to Austria, wouldn't you go to France, Switzerland or Italy in between?

If the OP ever comes back, perhaps she can clarify if her DH is working from an atlas with some pages missing?

Pure insanity

That is the most bonkers itinerary I have ever seen, even without a small child in tow.

That sounds insane!! You would barely be able to get your feet down in one place and you'd be travelling off again! Doesn't sound enjoyable, or relaxing! I would be telling him I would love to go to all those places... ONE AT A TIME! A week in Spain, a long weekend in Portugal (plenty to see in Porto and surroundings without needing to go down to Lisbon) etc. I wouldn't want to do all of that without children, never mind with!

Wouldn’t do that without a toddler. You won’t get to see anything - you’re just travelling between spots to take an insta selfie and get back on the road again!

He’s being vvvvv unreasonable. That’s not a holiday. It’s a social media-friendly check in list. Nope.

How's it going, op? Hope you've managed to talk some sense into your (not D)H. He can go on his own.

Guess he doesn't Sheen's many full days with your son? At that age you need sand kiddy pools and (preferably) someone feeding you. You could be lumbered with all the childcare duties wth a grumpy out of routine D's (and I want even one for 'routines')

I always flown with toddlers and my kids were absolutely fine with those kind of flight times! My 3 year flew to China no problem!
I would think your toddler will absolutely love the climate and the warm clean sea in Spain. If you go somewhere that he’s chosen your husband will be more on board with playing and spending time with tot!
I hope you can reach a decision without being too unreasonable towards your partner ...

That is no holiday!!

Hope you can get him to see sense

Father to two children......I think ambition exceeds reality. It really is too much in too little time and none of you will enjoy it and it is crass of him to suggest perhaps you should split.
Either forgo the holiday this year and plan a biggie next year or do a beach/city break or countryside. A near two year old, basically stuck in a seat for hours on end is going to be very fractious especially in hot temperatures (or Summer storms) We both had ambitious plains to travel with our two, but reality struck home, both children were very homesick every time we were away from home more than two hours and both were very prone to being travel sick. In fact one day trip out we travelled and finally parked after one & half hours of near continuous throwing up, we spent less than 5 mins at our destination before turning back home. Next time we thought travel sickness pills, BIG mistake, our two slept all through the journey, half way through the sightseeing, and most of the journey home. Do they remember any of it...........no and were both in hissy fits for days because we promised them days out.
Don’t do it. Instead choose three locations that are close enough to travel to easily but are wildly different. Consider renting a RV maybe.

P.S. Get him to choose a single destination though ! It’s not fair on your toddler to be cooped up in the car driving from destination to destinations. Bucket & spade holiday in Cornwall or Spain will suffice ...

You are not BU. He is BU. Your son will have no memories of the holiday. Sounds like a lot of hassle and work and defeats the purpose of a holiday. Your DH also sounds like a bully to say you shouldn't be together if you're not up for it.

This just sounds soooo boring with this amount of travelling! The percentage of travelling versus holiday time must be 30% at least!! That doesn't sound like fun to me let alone a 20 month old!!! 🤦‍♀️ Use your senses and plan a holiday that you and your child will enjoy, don't be bullied by your husband who needs to put his own needs aside for a while, explain that this is called being a parent and NOT being boring!

I have taken my kids aged 13 to places that they don’t remember. Why do a schedule like that for a toddler? Go somewhere nice and calm and relax!

Tell dh to go on his own, and you and DS can go to Cornwall.