AIBU to think this holiday is too much?

[tootlepootleschmootle]

DH has planned a trip for this summer, wants to book flights before prices go up. I think flight times are silly with our DS, and too much in such a short amount of time. He thinks I'm BU and boring, should I just do it?

Flight to Spain 5am, we would have to get 20mo DS up at 2am to do this. Four days in Spain before flight to Porto. Half a day there and two hour train to Lisbon, two days there. Fly to Vienna at 9pm for one and a half days, before hiring a car and driving half way to Slovenia, staying in air b n b, waking up and continuing drive to Slovenia where we stay for two days before flying home to airport far from our home, which gets in at 6pm, and then requires a four hour train (or 2 and a half hours if he can convince MIL to drop us at another station from the airport)

I'd be happy with a week in Cornwall with DS. I'm happy to go somewhere more exciting, but can't help feel it's all a bit much, but DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

That's the kind of itinerary I did in my 20s...when single, footloose and fancy free. That's way too much moving about.

I certainly think you can travel abroad a 20 month old, but a 2 centre (max) holiday, with travel in between in the timescale is more than enough.

I think he should do this one on his own! Its obviously what he wants to do with no concern for you or a child. Tell him to go or take his son with him but you wont be going. He should research it a bit, total madness. Most people with a toddler go to cornwall as you say or nowhere at all. Keep this for when hes a teenager lol

Make him try a trip to Cornwall on the train first. Make sure you don't get a direct service, do toddler, buggy, cases and all through Central London in rush hour - or try to get the 3pm train from Paddington on a Friday at the end of University term when there's a festival down there. See how he copes with that first. Make sure you have to go via Bristol, change at Exeter and change at Plymouth at the very least. I also suggest having to catch a bus for the last leg of the journey (if you're lucky, they run once an hour after 6pm - some Devon buses that still run in the evening are every other hour from 7pm and stop altogether at 11).

We do the journey often enough so DP's family don't forget what he looks like.

This is a man who will eat food he hates for a week if it's yellow stickered. Guess what he did last time?

He paid for us to go down First Class.

My DH loves travelling and this would be the sort of thing he’d love to do. We have a 22 month old toddler and not even he would suggest this as a good idea.

We are driving into France for our abroad holiday this year and might do a separate trip later in the year, otherwise we can’t go wrong with a week in Cornwall or the Lake District

YANBU

A holiday is defined as:

"an extended period of leisure and recreation, especially one spent away from home or in travelling."

synonyms: break, rest...

The trip you have described will not be most people's idea of a holiday. At 20 mo a holiday should be designed around what works for you as a family to have a relaxing, fun time away, this just sounds like hard work.

In a few years this might be a great trip for an older child, a toddler is better suited to pottering about in a safe environment where you also have the opportunity to chill out.

Surely a couple should plan a family holiday together - part of the fun should be planning and looking forward to the holiday, not dreading it - based on what they all enjoy, rather than one person dictating to the other?

My DP does this too. Unreasonable hours make for cheaper flights. I do not like travelling so he can just get on with it himself.

He says you shouldn't be together if you're not up for things like this???????? That'd be my major worry, far more than the trip itself, which sounds too exhausting to be fun at all. Maybe you need to sit down and have talk about what he expects from your relationship. He sounds very selfish and irresponsible to me, wanting to take a 20 month old - and a reluctant wife - on a holiday like that.

Sounds exhausting holidays are supposed to be relaxing, doesn't what you want count?

Your DH is the one being unreasonable and unrealistic. You’ll spend your whole holiday travelling , driving, flying, waiting around rather then enjoying it. It won’t be a holiday at all. And expensive. Waste of £££ IMO.

And all that packing and unpacking, will he be taking care of all that? Not forgetting all the baby paraphernalia.

Is he fucking insane?

I'd be tempted to make him do a mini version of that, just him and DS. Get up at 2am, drive to Swindon, 20 minutes for breakfast, then on to the coast, take a photo ofDS crying and stick it on Instagram, drive round Cheltenham 3 times and then park 5 miles from home and get the bus back. See how keen he is then.

Looks like one of those Japanese tours "see Europe in one week". Wasted on the child. You are going to feel resentful after 24 hours. And tired. And wondering what the hell you need to do this.

Is that your DH's idea of a holiday? More like a nightmare from hell. If he is unrelenting on changing just let him go himself and you have a week in Cornwall. I would rather stay home that be subjected to all that stop, starting never mind with a young child.

My kids would hate that.

Is this your DH’s first holiday abroad? Does he not know planes trains at best don’t run on time?? It sounds like a holiday for the sake of only clocking in that country without seeing it for what it is worth. I would tell him no and if he can’t understand that then you should tell him to go on his own while you have an actual holiday as you suggested in Cornwall.

I haven’t RTFT but I’d do it.... with my kid.

But YANBU for not wanting to. Each to their own. When DC was 2 yrs we did NZ, Shanghai and Langkawi..... in three weeks.... with lots of driving flying and a few trains and ferries.

😂

No. I wouldn't want to do that without kids either. Sounds exhausting.

That holiday sounds like no fun at all for your child or you.

Who says he just gets to pick what the family does???

Just adding my voice to the general consensus.

DC1 is 2.5, he has never travelled well for more than an hour at a time. He gets bored, he's uncomfortable because he's been restrained, he's dropped a toy, he's hungry, he's thirsty and he's BORED. DC that age need to run around and burn off all of that energy, they need to interact with people, not just stare at a headrest in the car or be told off for running up and down the aisle in a plane.

What does your husband think your DC will be doing? Does he think he's going to happily go from pushchair to plane seat to pushchair to car seat? Where is the time where DC gets to run around and play?

Not a chance. That'd be draining for me and DH to do alone, nevermind with a young child in tow. You'll have the rest of your lives to travel, go relax and unwind somewhere on a beach for a week or 2

So im just wondering where the compromise is cos it sounds like your dh wants it all his own way and hes behaving like a 20 yr old boy whos single!! Not a grown man with a child! Tell him to grow up cut the crap and that its not doable let alone amazing and enjoyable! Wheres your holiday, your you time and your ds time to have fun, play and not be grouchy, tired and irritable!! Someone sounds incredibly selfish!

YANBU that is beyond crazy with a 20 month old. Personally I think that is the worst age for flying - mobile, vocal and don't get their own seat.

If he really wants his son to 'Do' lots of countries (Which I think it fucking ridiculous), why don't you take the train? The carbon footprint involved in that journey is mind blowing. Not great for his son's future.

Oh that sounds like hell and your DH is being an arse about it.
I'd not even want to do all that travelling!
With a small child its pointless, they won't know or care,best to wait until they are much older and can appreciate it better.
That kind of trip sounds like a student trip more than anything!
I'm definitely thinking your DH never travelled as a student or when he was younger.
Instagram travel families! I'd like to see their kids recall all these fancy holidays in detail when they are older!
I'm of the generation that never had overseas holidays before they were teenagers and I honestly don't get what all the fuss is about taking small kids across the world when they're too young to appreciate it!