AIBU to think this holiday is too much?

[tootlepootleschmootle]

DH has planned a trip for this summer, wants to book flights before prices go up. I think flight times are silly with our DS, and too much in such a short amount of time. He thinks I'm BU and boring, should I just do it?

Flight to Spain 5am, we would have to get 20mo DS up at 2am to do this. Four days in Spain before flight to Porto. Half a day there and two hour train to Lisbon, two days there. Fly to Vienna at 9pm for one and a half days, before hiring a car and driving half way to Slovenia, staying in air b n b, waking up and continuing drive to Slovenia where we stay for two days before flying home to airport far from our home, which gets in at 6pm, and then requires a four hour train (or 2 and a half hours if he can convince MIL to drop us at another station from the airport)

I'd be happy with a week in Cornwall with DS. I'm happy to go somewhere more exciting, but can't help feel it's all a bit much, but DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

I love traveling but I love slow travel. This would cause me anxiety and I’d feel I spent more time in an airport / flying than actually enjoying the place. I’d go 1 week to Spain or a few 3 day trips to any European city.

@Ithinkmycatisevil and nor have I ever expressed any interest in wanted to trial driving in a foreign country for the first time through the Slovenian countryside with my little boy in the car

That sounds exhausting and the 5am flight is a terrible idea. What's wrong with just Spain or Spain and Portugal?

I don't like him trying to blackmail you by saying you shouldn't be together if you don't love this idea. I would be serving that back and saying 'no, perhaps we shouldn't if you insist on something like this'.

This sounds like a good itinerary for a couple of 20 year olds who have never been to Europe and might not get another chance for a while.

It sound like hell for anyone else. Particularly a toddler.

Tell him to take your child on his own and you have a nice relaxing time at home .

You seeing anything or just driving around/flying around Europe for 2 weeks?

Sounds an almighty. Ballache to be honest.

You’d got 5 planes + 1 car + 1 train in a matter of 10 days. I’ve had holidays where I took 5 planes. One was in Argentina during 2 weeks and the other one Thailand in 3 weeks.

I know my little boy could have an absolutely amazing time in Cornwall or Devon for a week- Ice cream, see the boats, try fish and chips, paddle in rock pools, use a little fishing net, see the arcades... but it's an absolute NO from DH as not adventurous enough

I've done those holidays with my kids a few times. Great if it doesn't rain. Challenging if it does rain. But either way better than what your OH is proposing.

Book a weekend away. Just you. Leave DH and LO alone.
Bet he won’t think his itinerary is such a good idea then.

Sounds a fun trip but not with a 20 month old.

We do similar bonkers stuff but mine are 12 and 17. No way at that age.

Oh I couldn't leave my little boy alone, not even to prove a point, I'd miss him too much he's the best little thing ever

Just tell him not to be so fucking stupid, that’s ridiculous with DS, & unfair on DS.

Tell him if he wants to get divorced fine, but slinging it around as a threat is fucking pathetic.

Go to Spain. Enjoy long week there. Actually relax, see the place you choose & enjoy it. (Valencia is a great city for town & beach, as is Barcelona, we rent an apt at the beach). DS can toddle about, enjoy the parks, beaches, he can nap while you try out all the various Sangria’s!). Do that regardless of what DH does (that’s DickHead btw)

Tell him YOU and DS will not be taking the fantasy trip of his.

I would love such a trip but not with children of that age. Lots of journey time, changes of scene/routine are just not suitable for a 20 month old. Your H is planning the holiday he wants, not one that is suitable for a family.

Maybe that’s the issue OP. If you never leave DH to realise what the reality is of life with a small person?

We found it easier to drive - take the Santander ferry and drive through Spain & Portugal one year, the following time Germany and northern Italy, or fly and drive but no extra flights.

I travelled between Australia and UK extensively with dd1, when she was a baby and a toddler.
The long haul flights and early flights not a big problem.. When a non moving toddler.
But trying to entertain a toddler in airport, on plane, in a hotel room etc.. Awful
And what exactly does your dh think even he will get out of this trip?
With such short periods in each place you will be mostly in airport waiting for flight, in car, in plane, in a hotel room.

If you actually want to be with this man, I'd be very tempted to do it... It will be hell and maybe he will learn... I'd make sure that when ds was tired, fractious, over stimulated, you hand him to dh and tell him he wanted son to experience this trip, he can take him off to experience together why you have nice quiet read of book.
Chasing your toddler through duty free when you've had no sleep cus said toddler would not settle in strange hotel is not fun and not Instagram able

Many of these families on Instagram travel but stay long periods in each place or have camper van/mobile homes... So no constant packing and unpacking. No lugging car seat, high chair, etc on off planes.

If I was you I'd say no.. Me and ds going to Cornwall to little cottage... Bye....

We moved around four times when we to Asia last year in 2.5 weeks, kids were 20 months and 3. It was ducking exhausting just packing up constantly the travel, the heat. The only blessing was we really chilled at each place by the pool / beach. What will you be doing when there?

I love and adventure and agree kids are fine to travel but two year olds can be vile when tired so it may be worth remembering that!

If he wants to take him abroad but you want a simple beach, Normandy is amazing, Omaha beach is stunning, so peaceful too - but thought provoking as we know how many died landing there

My twins are three now and we’ve made four trips to the States, all of which have required multiple flights and long drives. By far the worst one was when they were 20 months. They were very active and interested in everything except sitting down and watching a film, which made long journeys really difficult. I agree that two destinations max would be fine, and the 5am flight actually wouldn’t be that bad, but a ‘holiday’ like the one you describe would leave everyone exhausted and grumpy.

Where is the relaxing part of this trip? I'm exhausted just reading it!

Why don't you just book a cruise if he wants to see so many places on one trip. Would be a lot less hassle. His plans sound like a total nightmare for all involved.

The only IG travelling family I know of is The Bucket List Family, they seem like they're here there and everywhere, kids have been to 50+ countries etc. But even they don't have the kind of itinerary your DH has planned, I think they usually just go to one country per week, spread photos etc out over that week, and stop in 5 star resorts for comfort. I'd bet that most of the ones your DH follows are similar. I think he's being ridiculous - could you compromise and go for one week abroad? (To one place!)

I really hope you put your foot down with this OP. Honestly, it is selfish on his behalf. A trip as a couple I'd tell you to absolutely go for it but not with a toddler. Wait until he's a bit older. He won't even remember this time anyway - your seaside holiday sounds perfect for your DS.

He sounds horribly selfish tbh.

Why would you fly to Porto just for a half-day? I couldn’t go past it. My DH and DD would never agree to 5 am flight.
It’s very complicated trip. Your idea of holiday sounds fab. Does your MIL live in Slovenia? If so, why not go there for a longer period and explore the country while MIL will enjoy the time with her grandchild?