AIBU to think this holiday is too much?

[tootlepootleschmootle]

DH has planned a trip for this summer, wants to book flights before prices go up. I think flight times are silly with our DS, and too much in such a short amount of time. He thinks I'm BU and boring, should I just do it?

Flight to Spain 5am, we would have to get 20mo DS up at 2am to do this. Four days in Spain before flight to Porto. Half a day there and two hour train to Lisbon, two days there. Fly to Vienna at 9pm for one and a half days, before hiring a car and driving half way to Slovenia, staying in air b n b, waking up and continuing drive to Slovenia where we stay for two days before flying home to airport far from our home, which gets in at 6pm, and then requires a four hour train (or 2 and a half hours if he can convince MIL to drop us at another station from the airport)

I'd be happy with a week in Cornwall with DS. I'm happy to go somewhere more exciting, but can't help feel it's all a bit much, but DH calling me boring and saying things like we shouldn't be together if I'm not up for things like this, babies travel all the time, blah blah blah.

tbh your husband sounds like a selfish t**t! He thinks maybe you shouldn’t be together if you don’t want to cart yourself and toddler on a virtually non-stop trek across Europe? He thinks you’re not ‘adventurous’ enough? If he wants adventurous I suggest he goes swimming with crocs in the Australian outback.

I would let your OH take your son- then book myself into a yoga retreat on Crete for a week.

Tell him to book you all on a cruise - then he can knock himself out with different countries whilst you stay on board and drink cocktails and play with DC in the pool etc if you want .....

No no no no no no. NO.

This appears to be the ultimate expression of self-absorption, selfishness and an utter lack of grasp of reality as I've ever seen.

Your response to him should be "No, I don't not want to go - the itinerary is insane - not only do I not want to go, I will not be taking DS or allowing him to go. He's 2, he'll spend most of the time stuck in a car/train/plane/hotel and will find it miserable. Pick ONE place and we stay there the whole week or we won't be coming, we'll be going for a nice break in Cornwall instead - you can come if you want, otherwise we'll go on our own".

You CANNOT be wishy-washy about this. He needs to know it's absolutely not on.

Has he got form for riding roughshod over your wishes, having no understanding of the needs of a child at their particular age and stage?? Is he like this in other areas? If you give a sliver of hope that you might tolerate it, he'll book it as it is and you'll have the most miserable awful holiday going. Including DS. I can't imagine how cranky the poor child would be and you'd be dealing with all of it.

Why has he got to be so nasty about it? You're boring if you don't agree? Is he always a bully like this, wanting to get his own way and sod everyone else? He doesn't sound very nice at all I'm sorry to say!

Ridiculous. Tell him to pipe down.

Fly to Spain at 9am. Stay there for seven Days. Fly home at 9am.

It sounds horrendous - car seats, nappies, food, medicines etc .....!
A week in Devon all day long.... joking aside I personally prefer the Uk now with children and non of us really like the heat but I have plenty of friends who go abroad with a young family, but Portugal, Greece, south of France that type of thing.
It would be a constant stress of packing and unpacking too!

That’s a hell of a carbon footprint for a family holiday 🤕

I think you will regret it! At 20 months, that would be difficult I think. Unless, he is such a deep sleeper, he could just stay sleeping on the way to airport, in airport and on the plane! I would def not do it!

That wouldn't be a holiday to me sounds exhausting I've a 7 year old and a 1 year old definitely wouldn't cope with it. I would need a holiday to get over it!

Ha ha
Have him take d's for a weekend away as a trial up and down a few UK motorways and trains. Him in charge of every thing.

Does he ever take charge of d's for a 24 hour period alone with travel ?

Spain and / or Portugal, for a fortnight maybe (we spent about a week in Estoril / Lisbon when our DS was about that age as DH was at a conference) but the rest is just stupid.

Pressed too soon !!
Your DH sounds like he's not even considering you or your child. He's selfish a family holiday is something suitable for each member of the family not just one. Really sorry but he's a knob for his comments too!

Let DH do it on his own and you go to Cornwall. Maybe take a relative or friend with or without children and have a lovely relaxing break. Your husband's 'plan' sounds beyond insane.

My 2 year old DD is really good when it comes to travelling. She isn’t too phased by getting up at 4 in the morning to get a flight. She’s not a great sleeper, and so will then not sleep until we have arrived and settled at a destination, and will then spend 48 hours or so not sleeping as much as she should. She’s really easygoing about it, and I am therefore comfortable taking her away on my own to Spain, etc, to see my parents.

I’ve also done a lot of travelling that has involved a lot of stopping for a night or two and then moving onward.

But there is absolutely no way I would attempt what you’re DH is proposing, even if there were multiple adults. The mad packing, repacking, lugging all the toddler stuff that needs to be taken everywhere, and then trying to cope with a toddler who isn’t able to get their bearings sounds like an absolute disaster, and would probably be enough to put me off ever travelling with a toddler again. And I would question what benefit he would get from it. I’m currently in Spain with my DD, and she has spent the last two days watering the garden with the watering can... she couldn’t care less what sights we see, or what country we’re in!

WOW that’s a lot of traveling. You will be dead before the end of your journey..

It's a no from me. He is being selfish and it would end up being a stressful disaster for you all.

If he wants Ds to visit lots of places then great, but there are many many easier holidays, like Cornwall, as you suggested.

Is he on the run from Interpol?

Our most successful holidays with small kids were self catering in Devon or Cornwall. Now that they are 8 and 10 we all enjoy European city breaks together.

I don't think the OP is coming back.

My idea of hell! 2 weeks in Devon fine for me!

Sounds horrendous! Cornwall it is!

As everyone has already said, I've also travelled a lot as an adult and have travelled with DC and that itinerary is rubbish. You can't see a place in a half day or one day when you're also factoring in travelling. There's three options: you book a cruise, where you can see lots of different places but you can also relax and it's perfect for a toddler; you and DS fly out to Spain and stay there letting your DH do his itinerary on his own; you tell DH to go on his own and that you're seriously considering whether or not you are compatible because he's shown himself to be a narcissistic arse of the highest order.

God that sounds awful. Your poor DS would be miserable and none of you would enjoy it.

TBH I’m not sure I’d be up for that even going as an adult without a toddler in the mix.

Read your bully of a DH some of the replies here so he can see how unfair he’s being.

If your going to spend a fortune getting loads of flights and hiring cars and trains to waste time moving around Europe can’t you persuade him to have a more luxurious holiday in one interesting destination like Thailand or South Africa. Even 10 days in Cyprus moving around to different places with a car would be lovely, his itinerary sounds awful: