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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be furious that DS and friends have drawn on faces with sharpie at sleepover

824 replies

peoplepleaser1 · 06/04/2019 09:13

Yesterday was DS' 12th birthday. He had 6 friends sleep overnight.

They've been no trouble but I've got up this morning to find they've drawn on the faces of two sleeping friends with sharpie whilst they were asleep.

They have drawn moustaches, bushy eyebrows and cheek roses. I've tried to remove it with them but it's still quite visible. Both kids have quite pale skin which has made it even more visible.

I'm mortified, and upset and angry that DS let this happen under our roof. I was responsible for these kids and I feel terrible that they did this.

I've told DS to carry on as normal and that I'll deal with him once they've all gone home.

I'm not usually very strict and DS is usually a good kid but I'm really annoyed with him- well with all of them tbh but it's not my place to do anything about that.

DS is going to his dads tonight, we aren't together. I have mentioned it to him and he has said I'm ridiculous and overreacting. I planned to ban DS from electronics for a couple of days but his Dad has said he won't back me up so I can't do that.

AIBU and overreacting?!

OP posts:
slithytove · 06/04/2019 11:48

Natural consequences - do it to your son, send him to his dads.
See how funny it is then.

I agree it is the slippery slope of non-consenting activity. People need to know from an early age that you don’t do anything to someone who is asleep.

JemSynergy · 06/04/2019 11:49

Over reaction. Unless my son was complete traumatised by it I wouldn't be crying about a bit of sharpie on his face. More important things to worrying about it.

Olikingcharles · 06/04/2019 11:51

I don't understand how anyone thinks this acceptable behaviour. It's not on any level funny. How is singling out two boys to be humiliated high jinks or funny? I'm with the OP on this. I think your DS needs to be punished and an electronic ban doesn't seem extreme to me. I'd also be inclined to not have sleepovers again.

Bagpuss5 · 06/04/2019 11:51

Send son to the DPs of affected boys. With baby oil and an apology.
You don't know how annoyed they will be. Are the boys who were singled out usually the underdogs, it could be fun or it could be bullying.

JemSynergy · 06/04/2019 11:52

I wouldn't be going anywhere near a delicate face with nail varnish remover, I would try bio oil or coconut oil.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 06/04/2019 11:52

Do you think the boys are upset because you're cross and making a big fuss?

Lots of suggestions to remove it, just help them and move on.

Blimey, the things we used to get up to when we were kids!

Nanny0gg · 06/04/2019 11:56

If I had to go to school or out somewhere like that I'd be devastated. And I don't believe that all the posters on here would be able to shrug it off either.

Those boys are going to be ridiculed at school, you know they are.

I know it was thoughtless rather than spiteful but the boys who did it really need to be made to understand how unkind it was. Maybe painting their own faces in solidarity? (as if they'd be willing to do that...Confused )

Mookie81 · 06/04/2019 11:56

The old 'boys will be boys' twats are out in force I see.
I doubt people would be so blase if it was a girl they did it to.
This attitude is why teenage boys and men need reining in.

Nanny0gg · 06/04/2019 11:57

I wouldn't be crying about a bit of sharpie on his face. More important things to worrying about it.

It's not a 'bit of sharpie'! Read the description! Would you go out looking like that?

PassMeTheWine · 06/04/2019 11:58

Didn't realise they worked.

steppemum · 06/04/2019 11:59

I wouldn't be going anywhere near a delicate face with nail varnish remover, I would try bio oil or coconut oil.

they are not toddlers, it is fine, obviously try oil first, but you need a solvent to get it off.
We have used nail varnish remover in the past, use it, wash off, apply moisturiser.
Really, not going to cause any long term harm, but DOES remove the sharpie properly, which is the issue

BiscuitDrama · 06/04/2019 12:00

I guess if it had been girls instead it would be treated as more nasty. As it’s boys it’s a ‘prank’. Hmm

teyem · 06/04/2019 12:04

I hope these two boys weren't invited with the intention to humiliate them like this.

And I wouldn't be anywhere near as so cool as to not be furious when I picked up my kid.

Orangecookie · 06/04/2019 12:05

No to nail varnish remover! Jesus god the bad advice on these threads sometimes.

I am a health professional.

ineedaholidaynow · 06/04/2019 12:08

PassMeTheWine they may not work but I assume they will need to go out of the house in the next few days, and possibly school if they haven’t broken up yet.

So would you go out of the house with permanent marker all over your face?

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 06/04/2019 12:11

www.wikihow.com/Get-Permanent-Marker-off-Skin

MRex · 06/04/2019 12:18

@Orangecookie - why not? Obviously it isn't a good daily washing habit, but as a one-off it's better than having pen marks. I've used it on myself before, are you worried just because they're kids?

CarolDanvers · 06/04/2019 12:18

Blimey, the things we used to get up to when we were kids!

Indeed and my goodness how they were so often at the expense of others and humiliating them but it’s all just a laugh isn’t it? Forcing others to go along with your oh so funny high jinks because you’re a just such mischievous little rascals Hmm

Still18atheart · 06/04/2019 12:20

Try vodka or perfume anything with alcohol content. Use permanent marker a lot for work. And to rub off we use ethanol.

gamerchick · 06/04/2019 12:21

they are not toddlers, it is fine, obviously try oil first, but you need a solvent to get it off
We have used nail varnish remover in the past, use it, wash off, apply moisturiser.
Really, not going to cause any long term harm, but DOES remove the sharpie properly, which is the issue

It is not fine to use those kinds of things on other people's kids skin when it's had a good rubbing to get it off. That is for their parents to weigh up Hmm

As for the punishment, it's obvious his dad isn't going to back you up so I would go down the no more sleepovers. Trust has to be earned back.

HotpotLawyer · 06/04/2019 12:25

I also wouldn’t be happy if another parent rubbbed my child’s face with meths, as suggested above.

Shadycorner · 06/04/2019 12:25

There's a balance.

It really was not a good thing to do - it broke trust - and the host's ds should have tried to stop it but peer pressure in teens is huge and teens do daft things sometimes.

However, it was not as bad as secretly plying someone with drink, pushing them in to a lake, or daring them to jump off a building.

Perspective is a good thing to have.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 06/04/2019 12:26

Indeed and my goodness how they were so often at the expense of others and humiliating them but it’s all just a laugh isn’t it? Forcing others to go along with your oh so funny high jinks because you’re a just such mischievous little rascals

It doesn't warrant all this angst. It's pen on skin,it can be removed. If the boys are upset then apologies should be made and move on.

DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen · 06/04/2019 12:27

However, it was not as bad as secretly plying someone with drink, pushing them in to a lake, or daring them to jump off a building

Perspective is a good thing to have

Quite

Reallyevilmuffin · 06/04/2019 12:28

Was there teabagging? That's exactly the next stage of the prank line up after Sharpies.

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