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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be furious that DS and friends have drawn on faces with sharpie at sleepover

824 replies

peoplepleaser1 · 06/04/2019 09:13

Yesterday was DS' 12th birthday. He had 6 friends sleep overnight.

They've been no trouble but I've got up this morning to find they've drawn on the faces of two sleeping friends with sharpie whilst they were asleep.

They have drawn moustaches, bushy eyebrows and cheek roses. I've tried to remove it with them but it's still quite visible. Both kids have quite pale skin which has made it even more visible.

I'm mortified, and upset and angry that DS let this happen under our roof. I was responsible for these kids and I feel terrible that they did this.

I've told DS to carry on as normal and that I'll deal with him once they've all gone home.

I'm not usually very strict and DS is usually a good kid but I'm really annoyed with him- well with all of them tbh but it's not my place to do anything about that.

DS is going to his dads tonight, we aren't together. I have mentioned it to him and he has said I'm ridiculous and overreacting. I planned to ban DS from electronics for a couple of days but his Dad has said he won't back me up so I can't do that.

AIBU and overreacting?!

OP posts:
Villageidiots · 07/04/2019 20:52

Is this really all you have to worry about? Lucky you.

Teacher22 · 07/04/2019 21:01

No, you are right. It is not OK. If they are doing this at twelve without repercussions, what will they be doing with teenage hormone on board. Ignore your partner, men do not understand how serious these things are.

Sort it out now before habuts set in. Also keep your son from the other boys who led him on.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/04/2019 21:02

You are so right, @Villageidiots - why would anyone give even the tiniest fuck about kids being upset by a nasty, lasting prank by their so-called friends, that has already led to one boy being ridiculed and told there may be repercussions in school tomorrow.

It doesn’t matter a bit if a kid feels humiliated or upset, does it. Hmm

Jesus - some people are heartless. I cannot imagine why anyone with any sensitivity at all would make excuses for bullying/nasty behaviour like this.

Armadillostoes · 07/04/2019 21:06

So, ChristmasMouse you are saying that most school would punish victims of bullying as it was the most convenient thing to do! .And that you disapprove but it is entirely reasonable. Hmmmm

Tomkinz · 07/04/2019 21:10

WallyTheWasher

I don't come on here often - but as I have to remove magic marker/sharpie etc from things several times a week, that are sometimes years old marks - I thought I'd save the original poster the hassle of using a Brillo pad to remove them as it can be a little bit harsh on the skin.

But, some people seem to adopt a position and refuse to budge from it - even when they can be proven wrong...

As a bloke I'd say that Mumsnet can be helpful, but it's sometimes a weird, weird place.

WallyTheWasher · 07/04/2019 21:19

Well you should come more and balance things out Tomkinz

I did suspect you were a bloke - I am not one but I feel like identifying as one TBH because if this inferno of extreme anxiety is what it is to be female I’m off to hand my vagina in

I am going to draw on myself with a Sharpie later and experiment with removal to see if it is such a faff as it’s made out to be

Might draw on DC with a Sharpie actually. And the cat.

AutumnCrow · 07/04/2019 21:24

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius*

It's a mystery really; but AIBU seems haunted by the 'is that all you have to worry about' ghostly gliders these days (and nights).

LittleChristmasMouse · 07/04/2019 21:44

Armadillostoes

Why are you being so obtuse?

When have I said punish the victims of bullying because it is convenient?

If these boys look as Op described them - ridiculous, big bushy eyebrows, big rosey cheeks etc - then their appearance in school will create a stir amongst their classmates. You can just imagine the hilarity that will ensue. No doubt there will be some kids in the class unwilling or unable to let it go and who will carry it on.

What do you suggest the school does leave the boy in the class and put umpteen disruptive students in isolation? It won't happen.

Watch some of the Educating Yorkshire programme. You will see exactly how some kids will react to an out of the ordinary occurrence.

MsTSwift · 07/04/2019 21:48

It’s abit much to put those that don’t think this is just boyish jolly japes in the same camp as the “call the police” brigade. Think op and most sensible adults are somewhere between the two it’s not great and the lads should be told off and made to accept they’ve upset their friends but blue lights probably not necessary

BrilliantDarling · 07/04/2019 21:58

Dana28

If my child had been subjected to this I would be going to the police.This isn't high jinx this is an assault.

😂 😂 😂

Tomkinz · 07/04/2019 21:58

WallyTheWasher

I just don't understand some of the comments. Kids are kids and they do and say stupid things - and if I were the parents of any didn't then I'd be a little bit worried. If they've done something permanent and damaging then raise it officially. If it isn't permanent, then you shout and bawl and let them know they went too far. I'd just find out who "thought" of the idea and keep and eye on him.

Keep hold of your vagina - you never know when you'll need itHalo

GrumpySprout · 07/04/2019 22:03

When I was around your DS’s age, I had this done to me at a sleepover. 4 other girls drew all over my face and arms, with ‘tattoo pens’ lord knows how I didn’t wake up.

My friends mum was mortified and so upset, she scrubbed me red raw in the sink to no avail.

My mum was fine with it, a little miffed, but seeing as I wasn’t upset and knowing it would eventually come off, we let it slide.

I would worry. Kids will be kids.

GrumpySprout · 07/04/2019 22:04

*wouldn’t Hmm

WallyTheWasher · 07/04/2019 22:21

I wouldn’t worry either Sprout but worrying and being offended is an epidemic these days and if you’re not partaking then you may as well be eating live bunny rabbits whilst juggling baby song thrushes or something you are the devil himself

Keep hold of your vagina

I’m done with the wretched thing tbh 😂😂😂😂😂sew the fucker up

LittleChristmasMouse · 07/04/2019 22:25

Surely though it doesn't matter whether we would be upset or not if it was done to us? What matters is how these boys feel and they were upset.

I don't think anyone has the right to say what another person feels is wrong. What they feel is what they feel.

Nickpan · 07/04/2019 22:28

it's not assault as we generally know it

OffToBedhampton · 07/04/2019 22:40

it's not assault as we generally know it

Legally it is. Sorry to disabuse you. But in this instance it's not being reported. And DC are over 10 yo , so it could be recorded as an offence.

OP and related families aren't as they have a perspective and haven't gone past because OPand parents are reigning in and are cross/disappointed and decided how they will effectively deal with it.
But don't be misdirected. It was a shitty humiliating thing to do. That could result in criminal charges if any parent decided to push it that far. ..
Oh ,What a lark! How funny is that?! To humiliate friends ...

canadianbanana · 07/04/2019 22:50

I would be really upset with my child if they have participated in this prank. Yes, it was a prank, but to set someone else up to be embarrassed is not funny. I would certainly let your DS know you are upset with him and let him aD why, but I always think any punishment should relate to the “crime”, so I would be more inclined to tell him no more sleepovers, for example, rather than banning electronics. Or alternatively, have him clean up after the party, ie cleaning toilets, washing dishes, tidying up, or some such thing. I think you’re a good mom to react this way, as it shows you understand that embarrassing or humiliating someone on purpose is not just a laugh or a joke. Your son is lucky to have you for a mom.

Teacher22 · 07/04/2019 22:55

Habits not habits. Sorry.

happymum12345 · 07/04/2019 23:11

What a daft thing to do! If you’ve apologised to the boys parents and said how upset you are, then I would hope all will be forgiven. It sounds like you’ve made it clear to your son. Forgive and forget.

Lalliella · 07/04/2019 23:53

@Nanny0gg

I do wish people wouldn't be so desperate to get their 'words of wisdom' out there that they don't bother to Read the Fucking Thread!

Yep, you’ve got me. I decided not to waste a chunk of my life reading 20 pages of ludicrous stuff like this is assault and the police should be called. There’s really no need to swear at me. I think you need to calm down. I hope someone draws on your face with a Sharpie!

Arkenfield3001 · 08/04/2019 00:49

The easiest way to get permanent marker off of your skin is to rub it with an alcohol-based product like hand sanitizer, nail polish remover, or rubbing alcohol. If you don't have an alcohol-based product, try scrubbing your skin with olive oil, baking soda, or salt.

I hope this helps your guest’s parents ...

Yes by all means have a chat with your son about the risks associated with this prank e.g. allergic reaction etc but no there’s no need to overreact either! It was a prank, not assault and if God forbid the parents really can’t get it removed off the boys faces, no school will put them in isolation if it’s explained to them that it was a sleepover prank !

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 08/04/2019 01:04

"All those magic markers, permanent markers, sharpies etc are the same and isopropyl alcohol is very handy for getting the ink from them off soft furnishings too"

Try it with whiteboard dry wipe marker and come back and tell us how you get on. Make sure you let the ink dry properly first though.

Nanny0gg · 08/04/2019 06:30

@Lalliella
"Yep, you’ve got me. I decided not to waste a chunk of my life reading 20 pages of ludicrous stuff like this is assault and the police should be called. There’s really no need to swear at me. I think you need to calm down. I hope someone draws on your face with a Sharpie!*

Oh dear. Not just arrogant (adding your uninformed two-penn'orth) but childish.
I didn't swear at you. I spelled out what RTFT meant as it was something you clearly didn't understand.
We do need a new acronym though. At Least Bother To Read The OP's Bloody Posts. ALBTRTOBP
Bit long though...
(Oh, and I do agree about the police)

Jessgalinda · 08/04/2019 07:46

Surely RTFT could be read the FULL thread. Not fucking.

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