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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be furious that DS and friends have drawn on faces with sharpie at sleepover

824 replies

peoplepleaser1 · 06/04/2019 09:13

Yesterday was DS' 12th birthday. He had 6 friends sleep overnight.

They've been no trouble but I've got up this morning to find they've drawn on the faces of two sleeping friends with sharpie whilst they were asleep.

They have drawn moustaches, bushy eyebrows and cheek roses. I've tried to remove it with them but it's still quite visible. Both kids have quite pale skin which has made it even more visible.

I'm mortified, and upset and angry that DS let this happen under our roof. I was responsible for these kids and I feel terrible that they did this.

I've told DS to carry on as normal and that I'll deal with him once they've all gone home.

I'm not usually very strict and DS is usually a good kid but I'm really annoyed with him- well with all of them tbh but it's not my place to do anything about that.

DS is going to his dads tonight, we aren't together. I have mentioned it to him and he has said I'm ridiculous and overreacting. I planned to ban DS from electronics for a couple of days but his Dad has said he won't back me up so I can't do that.

AIBU and overreacting?!

OP posts:
EmeraldShamrock · 07/04/2019 17:04

It is a shitty thing to do, shit happens, it is how they learn lessons.

If it was my child, I would be happy with your reaction, but at least you don't think awh well boys will be boys.
DC at that age love pranks, next time hopefully they use cream or wipe off ink. Grin

Armadillostoes · 07/04/2019 17:05

LittleChristmas-I don't deny that it might cause disruption but that is a rubbish reason to punish the victim. If a child comes into class sobbing because they have been punched at break time, that might also disrupt a lesson. I'm either case, no decent school would manage the situation by making things harder for the pupil in question.

Notwiththeseknees · 07/04/2019 17:05

I once wrote 'cunt' on a friend's forehead when they were napping on holiday. We were well into our thirties. It was fucking hilarious. So yes chill out.

OMAG Sorry OP, I agree with your initial post. The bullies, minimisers, the Neanderthals and the hard of thinking seem to be out in force. At 12 he is absolutely old enough to know better. And despite his father, he would be punished. And I would punish him harder to counter his fathers attitude. Such a funny thing to do - until your kid comes home with CUNT written on his head Hmm

LittleChristmasMouse · 07/04/2019 17:13

Armadillostoes

Yes but this is going to be on going constant disruption isn't it? Not a 5 minute upset at the start of the lesson.

If many here think this is 12 year olds being 12 year olds and being silly - well they're not going to be mature with a classmate sitting there looking like a clown are they?

Schools put kids in isolation for having the wrong hair cut.

And honestly - can you see a child actually having the bravery to go into school like this? I absolutely know I couldn't have.

I'm still waiting for the jolly japes brigade, including the ex teacher, to come and assure us that they would go to work like this.

Arkenfield3001 · 07/04/2019 17:25

Whilst it’s far from perfect behaviour, life is too short to worry about felt tip pen pranks!
I hope your guests parents have a sense of humour because in terms of pranks it’s actually one of the more harmless pranks!
Be thankful they didn’t dip the boys fingers in water and make them wet themselves ...
We forget that boys of that age are incredibly silly when they get together !
I hope you can all laugh about it soon SmileSmile

LittleChristmasMouse · 07/04/2019 17:30

I hope your guests parents have a sense of humour because in terms of pranks it’s actually one of the more harmless pranks!

Really? It wasn't felt tip it was permanent marker that still hasn't come off.

So basically the 2 boys either have to go to school like or stay at home. Both of which have wider implications.

How is that harmless and funny?

Cottonwood · 07/04/2019 17:37

Arken I suspect you are about to get your arse handed to you on a plate Hmm

wallowinwater · 07/04/2019 17:38

It’s funny at that age, you’re over reacting, unless of course one of the boys has a photoshoot coming up. I’d be slightly unimpressed but as long as none of the boys were upset, mildly amused in a resigned way....

jessycake · 07/04/2019 17:38

I don't think you are over reacting , In time this will be a funny anecdote , today however ,I would be furious with him .

LittleChristmasMouse · 07/04/2019 17:42

but as long as none of the boys were upset,

Apart from where the OP said they were upset and crying do you mean?

Brian9600 · 07/04/2019 17:43

Amazed at some of the views on here. It’s a prank but a very thoughtless and unkind one. I’d be furious. I think it’s worse than university pranks, actually, and I’m not surprised the boys are upset.

CaptainButtock · 07/04/2019 17:46

To call drawing on someone’s face ‘assault’ is trivialising genuine assault and is therefore not cool. At all.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 07/04/2019 17:49

But both of the boys WERE upset, @wallowinwater - and one was teased at the sports he went to after the sleepover, and was told by a teacher who was at the match, that there might be repercussions at school on Monday too.

So not a joke for the boys who were picked on, and not a harmless prank either.

I really HATE the way some people want to minimise bullying and nasty behaviour. I was bullied as a teenager, and it has blighted my entire life, and ruined my mental health. It didn’t teach me resilience. It just taught me how horrible some people are - kids who bully and adults who minimise it.

To everyone on this thread who has said it was ‘just a joke’ - are you so insensitive and uncaring that you cannot imagine how this made the boys feel? They cried - but you think it is a laugh - what does that make you?

A joke is only funny if everyone is laughing. If the joke is at someone’s expense, and they are upset, it is not a joke, it is abusive.

Romax · 07/04/2019 17:50

If it were girls - more likely to have unkind nasty motivations

Boys - less likely unkind and more silliness

I’m thinking back to university and remembered exactly the same thing happening between groups of 19/10 year old “men”. I have heard happening in stag dos.
It seems the kind of silly behaviour that boys / men do but not with malicious intent.

So whilst I would be cross, I would not be as upset and cross as I would be if I suspected it was a bullying action

bubblegumunicorn · 07/04/2019 17:57

I almost had it happen to me once luckily I woke up at the first dot as I wasn’t properly asleep and it’s a horrible feeling! I’ve also been drawn on when drunk with sharpie but not on the face! I’ve always thought it’s a joke if you draw on someone’s arms and legs where they can be covered up with clothes but not so much on the face! It’s a common thing to happen at sleepovers/hanging out after a night out at uni/in your early 20s I don’t remember it happening at school age though!

MamaAffrika · 07/04/2019 17:58

Not that bad. My 6 year old came home with a henna tattoo on her one hand which another child in KS1 had painted on her at after school club. Took weeks to fade!
Yup, the club had put it out as a 'craft' activity.

Dana28 · 07/04/2019 17:59

If my child had been subjected to this I would be going to the police.This isn't high jinx this is an assault.

Goldmandra · 07/04/2019 18:01

Not that bad. My 6 year old came home with a henna tattoo on her one hand which another child in KS1 had painted on her at after school club.

A henna tattoo on your hand is quite different from a sharpie moustache and bushy eyebrows on your face.

MummasTheWord · 07/04/2019 18:02

Had there been an update as to what the other parents have said?!? That would be my one and only concern lol!

Babygrey7 · 07/04/2019 18:05

They won't have to go to school, like that

It can bebe removed (nailvarnish remover)

Too much drama imo

Armadillostoes · 07/04/2019 18:08

LittleChristmas-I think you have missed the point. The fundamental issue is not the scale of the disruption, it is that you don't make the victim of a prank or bullying suffer for what someone else has done. That just is not acceptable unless your moral compass is broken.

In terms of whether a child would want to go in, that would depend on the child. I can think of some who would revel in it, some of who would be distraught and a vast range in between.

Feelthethunder · 07/04/2019 18:12

I wouldn’t be happy if someone did this to my DD, I’d class it as bullying (everyone laughing whilst they’re being mean) and I know that she’d be upset if she woke up to find pen all over her face.

If my DD did this to someone, there would be consequences as again, I see it as bullying and that’s something I wouldn’t tolerate.

PeachesAndMayo · 07/04/2019 18:13

It will come off. Alcohol, nail varnish remover etcwill all shift it. I'd have been mad at my Desk, because it was a mean thing to do.

phoenixrosehere · 07/04/2019 18:15

An assault is the act of inflicting physical harm or unwanted physical contact upon a person or, in some specific legal definitions, a threat or attempt to commit such an action. It is both a crime and a tort and, therefore, may result in either criminal and/or civil liability.

If this is true, then what was done to the boys could be considered as assault. I’d think using permanent marker on a person without consent would be considered unwanted physical contact. The boys/victims of this didn’t find it amusing nor did their parents and I wouldn’t blame them.

No one needs to grow a sense of humour to not see this as funny. If one of these kids had had an allergic reaction would it have still been funny? It’s definitely not funny for/to the boys who were drawn on considering what has happened to them since then. Let’s also not forget this is probably a breach of trust for these boys. They didn’t consent to being drawn on with permanent marker and definitely not on their faces while they were sleeping.

LittleChristmasMouse · 07/04/2019 18:16

Well many schools will isolate a child going in like that because the disruption will be too great.

No doubt if only to stop 30 other kids turning up the following day sporting similar.

You are being quite naive to believe otherwise.

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