To decide to stop tipping

[RevokeRemainohsodit]

I'm a middle aged nursery nurse earning minimum wage. It seems daft to leave a tip for a waiter who will be earning at least as much as me. Likewise my hairdresser.

DH thinks I'm being cheap. Anyone else dared to stop tipping?

Definitely some patronising attitudes to waiting staff on this thread from tippers.

Waiting staff are also too professional to give you bad service because you didn't tip if they even remember, which I doubt. Those who aren't professional won't last long.

🤣🤣 I absolutely guarantee they do remember and it will be a case of who draws the short straw who will serve you and whilst yes they will be professional and courteous you will get the basics of service and no extras.

If I can afford it then I tip. We were served by a young girl in an Italian restaurant and nothing was too much trouble. My dd has issues with food textures. She couldn't decide what to have. The girl took her into the kitchen to speak to the chef (her dad) who then helped her decide by showing her different foods. Then cooked her something she then ate without issue. It was amazing because back then dd could be very loud and hyper but for some reason being made a fuss of made a big difference. That was the calmest and most relaxed family meal ever. Dd was 6 at the time and it made her feel special. She made mocktails for me and DH (school night) and ice cream milkshakes for the kids which she invited them to select and whizz up which they loved. As we were leaving it started raining and I didnt have my brolly. She went and found me a spare one that she told me to keep. I asked her about the tipping situation. Her dad liked having a drink bought for him so we paid for 2. She said she got to keep any cash tips and card tips were split between all wait staff monthly. So I gave her £30. She was gobsmacked as she never usually received more than a few quid. Would never normally tip that much and would usually round up and add a tenner but she really did go above and beyond. She gave us the first fuss free and peaceful meal we've ever had because she was so kind to my kids. She prevented dd even considering a melt down. Ooh and she stopped me getting soaked on the short walk home.
As for hairdressers sometimes I do depending on price but I always tip the junior. I was a junior in the 90s and I only survived because of my own tips.

We ate out at Girraffe in Reading. We didn't get chance to decide about a tip as the waiter demanded to know if we really wanted our change from paying the bill

I was at a restaurant recently and the family next to us were awful, they kept asking for more ice in their drinks, sent things back, requested sauces they didn’t use and asked for awkward substitutions on the menu then scoffed loudly when the waitress made a mistake. All in a very rude, demanding tone. But mainly they made a complete mess. The kids chucked food all over the floor, chucked food in their drinking glasses, poured salt and pepper all over the table. Parents did fuck all to stop them and the dad carefully counted out the exact change needed for the bill to the penny, no tip. Poor waitress then spent the next 10 minutes picking up peas off the floor and trying to unpick the mashed chips from the carpet. I know the average customer is nowhere near as bad but some people really treat servers like their personal servants.

Definitely some patronising attitudes to waiting staff on this thread from tippers.

😂 You see what you want to see.

Do you really find it patronising when people who have previously struggled to survive on MW jobs make sure to tip when they find themselves in better circumstances a few years later?

Do you find it patronising when a small cafe voluntarily pays the Living Wage rather than the NMW, even though it hurts their profits?

Do you find food banks patronising too??

This thread is bonkers. If service is not included as stated on your bill, of course you need to tip. Doesn't matter how much you make you still need to pay for the experience you're enjoying.

All the nonsense about subsidizing wages - erm every time you pay for a service, your money goes towards wages.

Can you explain what attitudes you find patronising?

In your initial post your concern was that you don't earn more than waiting staff, so your issue with patronising service staff seems to be something you've developed fairly recently.

It's not patronising to receive tips.
What a very strange idea to have.
I rely on tips to have a good quality of life. I don't expect them, but I do appreciate them.
I also work my bloody arse off to give my guests a good experience when they eat at my restaurant. Some days for 12 hours at a time.
If people want to tip me for making their day more enjoyable why shouldn't they.

absolutely guarantee they do remember and it will be a case of who draws the short straw who will serve you and whilst yes they will be professional and courteous you will get the basics of service and no extras

That's all I want!

chardom - your argument is bonkers. Waiters are paid at least minimum wage - out of the money I pay for the food and drink.

OP, the bottom line is if you don’t want to tip - fine, your choice. If you are happy with that then that’s your decision. But the majority of people will tip and are happy to do so. Regardless of whether or not other types of service/retail staff should be tipped, whether or not you think waiters make enough money, it’s part of social norm to tip servers in restaurants. So not everyone will agree with you when you go against that.

nobody tips the nurses do they?

Oh dear. I wouldn’t use that expression, actually, which is rather the point. I makes no sense to someone in the UK.

Eh? Wtf you talking about @Hazeintheclouds I've lived in several areas of the U.K. and heard/used "cheap" in exactly the sense meant by the OP. Of course it's not an Americanism. You're just insular, I assume.

Hairdressers/beauticians/massage therapists charge a lot more per hour than I earn....

@Girliefriendlikescake they will also have much higher costs to pay ... salon/room or chair rental (which has to be paid even if no bookings in their diary to cover it), utilities etc if their own business, insurance, products, laundry, CPD courses or training, and of course tax etc. You may pay £40/£50 for an hour massage or treatment etc but I can guarantee the therapist isn't taking all that home! Less than half usually.

Not sure I get the whole 'demeaning' argument of not tipping

Everyone in this country earns at least minimum wage
Ahem. Everyone on paye with a legitimate company. Self employed or in the grey/dark edges of the economy are not guaranteed any income. A small but valid point.

Interesting that good reviews, thanks or a card can mean more to the recipient . I always review restaurants and will make special mention of good staff. I asked for the manager recently and praised a particular member of staff by name. His face lit up! He thought we were going to complain.

Oh gawd I thought you meant going to the councils landfill thingy

We have minimum wage in this country. It's not like in America. I too find it ridiculous to tip someone merely for doing their job when they're already getting paid to do just that. As for working hard, I'm sure we all work hard. We don't all expect free money though.

I’m in Australia where there is no need to tip as the servers get a decent wage, including extra pay for weekend working and even more on bank holidays. My teenage son earns $18 an hour working in a fast food place, and over, and over $30 on a bank hol, he doesn’t need tips! It means eating out here isn’t cheap, but I think it’s a better system. I still leave a tip for great service though.

Waiting staff are also too professional to give you bad service because you didn't tip if they even remember, which I doubt. Those who aren't professional won't last long.

🤣🤣 I absolutely guarantee they do remember and it will be a case of who draws the short straw who will serve you and whilst yes they will be professional and courteous you will get the basics of service and no extras.

I absolutely guarantee that waiting staff are far too busy to memorise every single customer once they've left, and remember if, and how much they tipped. A very regular one possibly. And that's even if the same staff are on, and they are the staff that deal with payments (often someone else)

And anyway, speak for yourself, I don't expect a tip and I don't treat anyone differently in hopes of a tip.

And as for expecting free money? The only thing I expect is to be treated with the same respect as any other human being, which is sadly lacking! And the Tax man doesn't complain when I declare them! And nor does tax credits when they pay me a little less. Which in itself is ridiculous that working full time the government recognises I can't live on it! But that still doesn't mean I expect anything other than respect and my wages.

I only tip my hairdresser / as l like her and see her regularly.
She has her own business

See I find this just silly and it annoys me. The hairdresser is the owner, if she charges £60 for a haircut for example and then expects tips, she needs to up her prices to reflect what she wants to earn for a haircut and not expect tips! Which is why we all get in a tizz about who and how much we should be tipping.

I’m in the US and the tipping drives me nuts. Just state the price with all included and pay people properly. The reason you’ll hve waiters chasing you if you don’t tip enough is because they earn something ridiculous like $2.90 an hour and your tip is their livelihood.

I tip taxi drivers ( 99% of them will help with the bags ) and takeaway delivery drivers too.
Also my hairdresser and the beautician who does my nails and eyebrows.

Don't eat out much but will always tip for
good service.
I can only recall one or two times that service was abysmal and I didn't tip.

My dgm was a waitress for most of her adult life. Tips were great and used to make up a decent percentage of her wages.
She banked all her tips and ended up with quite a lot of money.

Aside from the rights and wrongs, can I ask something from those who know? My dd is working at a chain bar/restaurant and customers can add service charge on the card machine. The restaurant keeps 3% of that. Is that right? Or acceptable?

Tipping is an absolute minefield but I do tip in restaurants, hairdressers and taxis. If I receive poor service in a restaurant and reduce or don't tip then I do point out that I haven't tipped and tell them why (e.g. had to wait an hour for food then it was cold plus my choice wasn't available).

When with family we normally leave a 10% tip rounded up to next £. When out with friends I'm embarrassed by them only putting £1 tip each, irrespective of the cost of the meal when my friends are all on very good salaries.

Tricky when it comes to carveries. I operate on the basis of if I have to order food and pay at the bar then I don't tip (e.g. carveries) but then I have no idea about tipping on the occasion I have a carvery and a dessert.

I tip because of how I've been brought up and do think it is a cultural norm in the UK. I have never considered that I should revise my tipping habits now that there is a national minimum wage.

In the USA I always tip 15% minimum and often 17.5 - 20% because I've read the stories about waiting staff chasing people out of the door.