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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To decide to stop tipping

188 replies

RevokeRemainohsodit · 04/04/2019 10:24

I'm a middle aged nursery nurse earning minimum wage. It seems daft to leave a tip for a waiter who will be earning at least as much as me. Likewise my hairdresser.

DH thinks I'm being cheap. Anyone else dared to stop tipping?

OP posts:
SilverySurfer · 04/04/2019 11:22

I think not tipping is really stingy.

Vulpine · 04/04/2019 11:25

I'm not mad keen on tipping hairdressers and black cabs. Both so expensive

Halloumimuffin · 04/04/2019 11:26

I would say cheap, tight or stingy before I ever said 'mean'.

adaline · 04/04/2019 11:26

I think not tipping is really stingy.

Is it stingy not to tip all minimum wage workers, then?

Or is it just certain professions that deserve to have their wages topped up with tips? Is waitressing any harder than lugging heavy boxes around a supermarket all day? Or working in a food place like Subway? Or being on your feet all day in a shop?

jiggsymalone · 04/04/2019 11:28

Where I'm from tipping isn't a thing to the point that when I returned there after coming to the UK and left a tip in a restaurant after a huge meal the waiter chased me down the street because I had "left my money!" Now I will only tip (in the UK) if it's good service that i think deserves an extra, but I won't leave a tip for service that isn't good.

snowball28 · 04/04/2019 11:31

I don’t tip unless for absolutely amazing service which genuinely never happens, they’re earning more than me and I’ve paid for what I ate so as far as I’m concerned I don’t need to tip lol

TheGirlWithAllTheFeathers · 04/04/2019 11:32

My daughter used to be in hospitality and really loved her tips. They were shared out and divvied out once a week. I always try to tip - really well if the service has been great.

Smelborp · 04/04/2019 11:36

@Hazeintheclouds of course it makes sense in the UK. There are different expressions across the UK for different things so it would be arrogant to assume that you’re way is the only correct way, but I assume you must be being deliberately obtuse here.

SevenSeasofRye · 04/04/2019 11:38

I have never tipped a hairdresser. I tip for cabs and only tip in restaurants if I think they’ve gone above and beyond. The price of everything these days is so high. They’re making a massive profit in any case from customers.
Why do people in minimum wage service jobs deserve to be tipped but those in minimum wage not customer facing roles have to get on with it? Call centres are grim jobs and they treat employees like crap and pay minimum wage. Dealing with angry customers all day in the phone is far worse than being a waitresses/ waiter.

DarlingNikita · 04/04/2019 11:39

I've always found tipping rather demeaning for the recipient. And something Lady of the Manorish about the person handing over a fiver.

I feel uncomfortable about tipping but have never been quite sure why; but I think this nails it.

Having said that, I still do do it in restaurants, a small tip for perfectly good service and a bit more for someone who is extra-helpful or extra-nice. And I tip my hairdresser, which I find much less cringy now that I pay her by bank transfer so don't have to physically hand over an extra few quid.

Bear2014 · 04/04/2019 11:40

It's pretty weird logic to not tip a waiter/tress based on them earning less than you. IMO if you can afford to eat out, you can afford to tip. Eating out is a treat for you, not a living expense whereas tips form part of their income. It's fine not to tip the hairdresser though, I've never really done that.

KaliforniaDreamz · 04/04/2019 11:40

I tip the PrimeNow delivery drivers and waiting staff.
and babysitters.
I always give cash as gifts to my cleaner.

i've even given cash to teachers who were off on holiday together - for their first round at the airport!
i like cash!!

KaliforniaDreamz · 04/04/2019 11:41

oh and hairdresser and nail lady

KaliforniaDreamz · 04/04/2019 11:41

Nothing uncomfortbable about it - be more Don Draper

neveradullmoment99 · 04/04/2019 11:42

I actually never tip anyone. I used to do it rarely but tbh and im not sure why, but I have found that I find it a bit awkward.

BitchQueen90 · 04/04/2019 11:43

I don't tip and I worked in hospitality for many years. Tips were lovely but I didn't automatically expect them.

I certainly don't tip my hairdresser who is self employed with many clients and earns way more than me.

I do tip abroad however as wages are often not as fair as they are here in the UK.

Original poster
RevokeRemainohsodit · 04/04/2019 11:45

Jessie - I think that's different because I'd see it as a personal thank you gift rather than a tip. When my hairdresser got married i gave her a JL voucher. I've known her for years now and wanted to wish her well for her married life.

OP posts:
Willowtreecottage · 04/04/2019 11:47

I only tip my hairdresser / as l like her and see her regularly.
She has her own business ~ she puts a good deal of work into my hair and her ‘service’ in general!
She has to keep the chat going... can’t just shove me under the lamp with the latest Hello mag... as it’s one client at a time :)

InspectorClouseauMNdivision · 04/04/2019 11:48

I always tip.
If the service is great I do 10%.
If service is totally shit I leave a penny.
Read it somewhere that in US, with the absolute culture of tipping, this is the way to let the waiter know that you didn't forget the tip, you were just unhappy with the service.

Only twice I left a penny.

Namechangeforthegamechange · 04/04/2019 11:49

I think it’s very bad form and cheap not to tip, let alone embarrassing for anyone you are dining with. If you use the same hair dresser/restaurant regularly you will notice a change in how you are treated. I tip paramedics/bin men/taxi/food delivery/waiter service and I’m paid min wAge and can barely afford it but it’s just good manners.

StarlingsEverywhere · 04/04/2019 11:50

I tip around 12.5% to my hairdresser and when I'm eating out, because I can afford it and I like to reward good service. I'm not sure I would if was on minimum wage though.

StarlingsEverywhere · 04/04/2019 11:50

i can't imagine tipping a paramedic though, I must admit.

adaline · 04/04/2019 11:50

It's pretty weird logic to not tip a waiter/tress based on them earning less than you. IMO if you can afford to eat out, you can afford to tip. Eating out is a treat for you, not a living expense whereas tips form part of their income.

But why does waitressing deserve a tip? I'm afraid I don't get it. Waitressing is no harder than millions of other minimum wage jobs yet there's this long-standing belief that they deserve tips whereas other people don't.

Doghorsechicken · 04/04/2019 11:51

I rarely tip in the UK, only if the waiter/waitress is exceptional.

havingtochangeusernameagain · 04/04/2019 11:52

id feel a bit awkward at the hair dressers though

I just get told it costs £x and I put my card in the machine. It's not like a restaurant where it (usually) asks you if you want to leave a tip.

And I don't always go to the same place, it's always the case at any hairdresser I go to.

I had no idea until I joined MN that tipping hairdressers was a thing.

In restaurants/cafes I usually round up, rather than doing a percentage.

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