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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To decide to stop tipping

188 replies

RevokeRemainohsodit · 04/04/2019 10:24

I'm a middle aged nursery nurse earning minimum wage. It seems daft to leave a tip for a waiter who will be earning at least as much as me. Likewise my hairdresser.

DH thinks I'm being cheap. Anyone else dared to stop tipping?

OP posts:
RedRedBluee · 04/04/2019 10:54

I used to tip because I felt I was slightly pressured to feel bad if I didn’t.
But then I had a minimum wage job in retail and never received tips (apart from the occasional 1p change).
I don’t see why restaurant workers deserve a tip but I didn’t while serving customers in a shop, some which would require a lot more attention and time and expertise than a waiter would give you at your table.

I don’t tip hairdressers either.

Biker47 · 04/04/2019 10:55

I don't tip anymore, the bare minimum I expect when eating out, is to be served food/drink, I've very rarely got anything "above and beyond" that to be honest. Why would I tip for what anyone expects of a restaurant, and as mentioned, other people in similar situations aren't tipped for some strange reason while offering you a service. I fortunately earn more than minimum wage, but not everyone does, why should it be transformed into an expectation that everyone tips, when some people serving are on the same wage as the people who are being served.

Original poster
RevokeRemainohsodit · 04/04/2019 11:00

I don’t get an amazing wage but if I can afford to go out to eat I can afford to tip

You pay for food and service - why does the fact that you can afford that mean you should give extra? If you can afford a new dress, do you tip the sales assistant?

I'd be mortified if one of the children's parents said "Thanks for looking after Kevin so well this week" and presented me with a tenner.

OP posts:
DerelictWreck · 04/04/2019 11:02

Hazeintheclouds

What are you on about? Begin 'cheap' is a perfectly normal and common expression across the UK!

Dowser · 04/04/2019 11:03

Gosh I didn’t know bar staff could make such a decent amount of money

SneakyGremlins · 04/04/2019 11:04

It is not "bad form" not to tip in this country Hmm

Cloudyyy · 04/04/2019 11:05

I always tip 10%, usually I round up. So if it’s a £34 meal, we will either leave a fiver for the waiting staff or pay £40 on card. For something like a taxi where it’s usuaully cash, we just round up and leave what we can, so an £8 journey we’d give £10 and day keep the change. If the journey comes to £10 or there about, i try and give a few pounds in coin I have. It’s what we’ve always done to show appreciation for good service and to help people out in some very tough service jobs.

KnifeAngel · 04/04/2019 11:05

@Hazeintheclouds what a load of rubbish of course it makes sense in the UK.

adaline · 04/04/2019 11:06

I don’t get an amazing wage but if I can afford to go out to eat I can afford to tip.

Would you tip anyone else who just earned minimum wage, or is it just waiting staff who deserve to have their wages topped up?

Bluntness100 · 04/04/2019 11:06

I look at tips as part of the cost of the whatever,

I wouldn't not tip, as said because I do perceive it as part of the cost.

I think in many places you can get away with it, id feel a bit awkward at the hair dressers though.

gairytoes · 04/04/2019 11:11

I do tend to tip in restaurants unless the service has been really bad.

That said, when you eat out, you pay a lot for the experience of having the food cooked and brought to you and being cleaned up after. Often, in family friendly restaurants, the food is not of any better quality than you would make for yourself at home, so you'd conclude you are paying the massively inflated cost, not for the food, but for the service. So it does make me think why we feel we should tip on top of that.

redwoodmazza · 04/04/2019 11:12

@dowser

That happened to us in USA too. It was our treat to have a meal in a 'posh' restaurant. We gave a tip and then the head waiter told us it wasn't enough! I was furious and felt like taking back what we had given...

I now understand their culture but this has always rankled with me and really spoiled our stay.

Original poster
RevokeRemainohsodit · 04/04/2019 11:12

I'd feel uncomfortable tipping my hairdresser. We've been chatting as equals whilst she does my hair, then I'd be demeaning her if I paid for her service, then handed her extra.

OP posts:
Brilliantidiot · 04/04/2019 11:13

Just a word of warning to those of you that don't tip for various reasons - and I guess those that do.
Check your bill carefully, and ask for a printed/itemised bill. In some places an 'optional' service charge is added as a matter of course, and included in the full total.
If you want to tip, be aware that not everywhere ensures these tips go to the staff. If you don't want to, if you don't ask for it removed, you're tipping by default.
The place I work doesn't do this, they believe that if a customer wants to tip, they should feel free to do so, or to not do so, they don't think it's right to add it on anyway, and I agree.
I had it removed from a bill once, it was there and included in the 'Grand Total' at the bottom. I wanted to tip because we'd had really good service, and being in the industry I'm harsh about it! I asked the waitress if they would get the 'Optional service charge' and she looked embarrassed, and sort of blustered. It told me what I needed to know. I had them remove it and then left a bit more as a tip. I want to tip the waiting staff and kitchen staff, not the company!

JaneEyre07 · 04/04/2019 11:13

I hated it in the US too. We were horrified in NYC to have to tip everyone you spoke to, and it's disgusting that people are allowed to pay so little to their staff. It took a significant chunk out of our spending money as we hadn't allowed for it until reading the guide book on the plane!

We had 12.5% added to a restaurant bill recently that DH paid without realising. I'd have refused, and left £2 like always as a gesture. I won't tip my hairdresser either except for at Christmas, she probably earns more than I do.

BadPennyNoBiscuit · 04/04/2019 11:13

I was an adult before I found out you were 'supposed' to tip the hairdresser.

Judystilldreamsofhorses · 04/04/2019 11:14

I tip in restaurants unless service is awful, but I never tip in the hairdresser. I go every five weeks and pay £62 a time. I usually bring my hairdresser a bottle of wine and bunch of flowers at Christmas, and I give her £5 if she trims my fringe between cuts.

overreactingperhaps · 04/04/2019 11:14

In many places in London, a 12.5% service charge is automatically added, and normally I don't mind, but I remember having particularly bad service on one occasion and so we refused to pay it and they tried to say it was compulsory.
That annoys me.

I'm happy to tip, but only when I think it's deserved, if you're going to do your job half arsed, I don't think you deserve any extra's.

PinkHeart5914 · 04/04/2019 11:14

I don’t tip unless it’s truly great service!

Everyone in the uk earns at least the minimum wage, I’m not saying that’s a great wage but they already get paid for the job they do.

If I was taken to A&E I wouldn’t tip the paramedic or nurse for saving my life, I’d thank them of course but I wouldn’t be handing them money. So why would I tip a waitress unless the service has been amazing?

I pay £170 everytime I have my hair done, yet the hair salon still has a tips jar on the counter. Why?

JessieMcJessie · 04/04/2019 11:17

I'd be mortified if one of the children's parents said "Thanks for looking after Kevin so well this week" and presented me with a tenner.

I always give a £15 Boots voucher to my son’s key worker in a card at Christmas. Is that insulting? I know how poor the pay is so thought she’d prefer a money gift to chocolates etc. Is that insulting?

JessieMcJessie · 04/04/2019 11:18

Sorry didn’t mean to repeat “is that insulting?”

recrudescence · 04/04/2019 11:18

I do tip certain people out of a sort of form or habit but realise it makes no real sense to tip a waiter but not the Ocado man.

(The poster who claims to have never heard the expression ‘to be cheap’ is being very silly.)

DrReed · 04/04/2019 11:18

Gosh I didn’t know bar staff could make such a decent amount of money

They don’t. Most are on minimum wage or a little more. Management can earn a decent wage but then they are running a business, they are responsible for recruiting, training, rotas, hr issues, ordering, stock control, all health & safety, sales plans, delivering customer service and standards, dealing with emails, finances, the list goes on. And if we’re lucky we occasionally manage to work less than 55 hours a week and get a day off.

Anyway, OP tipping is definitely going out of fashion, perhaps due to a lot of places putting an automatic service charge on the bill and some are getting pissed off with it, or assume they’ve left a tip. Will you ask for service charge to be removed if it’s on the bill?

JudgeRindersMinder · 04/04/2019 11:20

I don’t tip in the UK, as others have pointed out there’s a minimum wage in this country.
Fortunately my hairdresser and wax lady are both self employed so tipping them doesn’t enter my head as they set their own prices

MadSweeney · 04/04/2019 11:21

It makes no sense to someone in the UK

last time I checked I was firmly in the UK and have used that expression since childhood.

I do tip in restaurants, mostly because DD worked in one once. She was 17, minimum wage and a good tip could make a huge difference to her so I usually go 10%.
Hairdressers and the like no, Uber if the driver has been nice and friendly i'll round up and leave a nice review.

We were caught out in San Fransisco once with Dennys automatically taking a tip on card and us leaving cash on the table. Only happened the once though!