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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To decide to stop tipping

188 replies

RevokeRemainohsodit · 04/04/2019 10:24

I'm a middle aged nursery nurse earning minimum wage. It seems daft to leave a tip for a waiter who will be earning at least as much as me. Likewise my hairdresser.

DH thinks I'm being cheap. Anyone else dared to stop tipping?

OP posts:
Longdistance · 04/04/2019 12:54

I didn’t tip my hairdresser yesterday after I £130,

I tip in restaurants if the meal and service are great, but I’ll be the judge of that.

MadameDD · 04/04/2019 12:54

I tend to tip if in independent places but even then it's not a huge amount maybe 10% of the bill.

Chain restaurants in London where I am - I've been out at a couple of places where they automatically add this on - however was at a large place with appalling service by the waiter and at the end we just refused to pay the added on service charge - they didn't argue as they knew we were right.

Hairdresser - mine owns the salon I go to but she does very well - so don't tip generally - maybe to shampoo girls a few £s. Do give them a big box chocolates at Christmas. I've been going there now for a few years and my mum uses the same salon so I think that's good enough incentive from them, they'd prefer repeat custom rather than tipping. Wouldn't tip in a chain place like Rush as they have lots of customers and charge loads.

Original poster
RevokeRemainohsodit · 04/04/2019 12:55

What is amazing or great service?
My order is taken and then brought to me.
During the meal, the waiter might ask "everything ok guys?" - usuaĺly when I've got a mouthful of food ☺
Invariably, I have to wait too long for the bill.

I must be very low maintenance as a customer so dont see where they're going above or beyond - they're just doing their job.

OP posts:
amusedbush · 04/04/2019 12:59

It makes no sense to someone in the UK.

It makes perfect sense here in the UK and your phoney "oh dear" makes you look like a tit Grin

I don't tip my hairdresser - I already pay £55 for a cut and blow dry! I'll tip in a restaurant if the service is good but I'll only round it up, I don't give a set percentage.

In the US I'll always give 15-20% because that's the cultural norm. Food looks cheap on the menu until you add the tip, but you have to accept this as part of the cost of the holiday.

KaliforniaDreamz · 04/04/2019 13:00

If you don't want to, then don't.
i still think it's cheap.

DarlingNikita · 04/04/2019 13:10

Revoke, I think ' amazing or great service' is quite hard to define but you know when you've received it (and when you haven't!)

I think it can include things like 'extra' chat (so not just the mandatory check-in at a certain point through your meal), a genuine-seeming warmth of manner, noticing and anticipating things like you needing a new napkin or getting you fresh tap water etc without you having to ask... Loads of small but important things.

But basically, if I finish a visit to a restaurant feeling warm and fuzzy towards the place and the waiting staff then I reckon I've had service above and beyond.

Frenchfancy · 04/04/2019 13:11

I don't understand why it is cheap to pay the advertised price just like you do for everything else. I don't tip. I don't really care if people think I'm cheap.

GuineaPiglet345 · 04/04/2019 13:12

I don’t tip unless I’ve had exceptional service. Recently I booked an Indian restaurant for DHs birthday for 6 of us, and when we got there they’d put birthday balloons on his chair and decorated the table, they brought out a cake for him (and didn’t charge for it) and the waiter did some card tricks for us when we were having coffee at the end. It was the same waiter from start to finish and the service and food were excellent, to me that really was exceptional so I left him a big tip.

wetpants · 04/04/2019 13:15

Many years ago I used to work in a well known, swanky London restaurant. They added 12.5% on top of the bill but this was divided by the staff including the chefs, porters etc. This was called Tronc. Apart from the managers and head chefs, we were all on MW. And based on our experience and years of service we were given a certain amount of points which then determined your share of the Tronc which was paid on top of your MW pay.

I of course don't know how much the company creamed from the top of the 12.5% but I remember being well paid considering the industry standard. I am horrified to learn that some restaurants keep it all to themselves. But whatever the practise, you as a customer can always ask the service charge removed, it is definitely NOT a compulsory. If the restaurant claims it is, pass their name to Trading Standards.

adaline · 04/04/2019 13:15

i still think it's cheap.

Is it cheap to just pay the total sum of your bill in Tesco too?

There's nothing at all wrong with just paying the advertised price!

Brilliantidiot · 04/04/2019 13:21

@RevokeRemainohsodit

There's little opportunity to show going above and beyond with your average customer, because if you're already giving good service then without being intrusive, you can't go above and beyond. You can be polite and friendly, but that's about it.
It's when the customer has a problem, or are in a situation that you can go the extra mile. Some of them I've done or witnessed are -
Pushing a very young baby back and forth so the mum on her own could actually eat her food. She didn't tip but was so grateful she was in tears thanking me.
The chef shutting and cleaning down a corner of the kitchen to make a little boy food, he had an unusual allergy that we don't cater for, but he could, with a little time, make sure that the food was contamination free - he got a thank you card.
A lady who's husband was rushed to hospital in the afternoon, and she arrived back at 3am exhausted, starving and bewildered. Made her a jacket spud and some hot chocolate and listened and comforted - box of chocolates.
A KP went on a drive around our local area looking for a dog who was staying (with her owners of course) with us who had run off - she was found safe and well thankfully, big box of chocolates.
At a birthday celebration, the cake didn't arrive, it was a celebration tinged with sadness and very special to the family, our chef used cake he'd already made for something else, and decorated it almost identically to the picture the host showed him - in half an hour. Most of the guests had no idea, but the cake was a big focal point for them and the organiser was so grateful she bought him a very nice bottle of whiskey!

Cloudyyy · 04/04/2019 13:23

If you don’t want to tip then don’t, but others will think you are tight. I always pay the tip on the full meal at a restaurant if eating with someone who is splitting the bill but too cheap to tip... and don’t eat at a restaurant with them again!

AlaskanOilBaron · 04/04/2019 13:25

I'm a big tipper, but this is mostly because it's a polite way for me to spread my money around without insulting the recipient (I hope, anyway).

I would not tip if I were a low earner, I agree with your logic. I think it's incredibly crass for wealthy people to not tip.

ImportantWater · 04/04/2019 13:27

I almost always tip wait staff and taxis, but I never tip my hairdressers. I have never known whether to or not, who to give the tip, or how much, so I just don’t do it now. I do tip for the kids haircuts (different salon) because I am paying cash for theirs so it’s easier. My hair salon costs a fortune and I am certain my hairdresser earns more than I do.

Oakmaiden · 04/04/2019 13:31

I only tip for exceptional service. We have a minimum wage in this country - it is different in America when the tips are actually a good part of their wage.

Unihorn · 04/04/2019 13:36

@Fiveredbricks where the hell are you that restaurant and bar managers are earning £50k?!?

The industry average for assistant managers is £20k and senior managers is about £30k. And as a PP said, that's for running a business and doing the work about 5 people collectively do in most businesses, for 50-60 hour weeks.

I work for a chain and head office feedback does actually mean a lot to our team as they get free bar tabs, days out, free meals, vouchers etc. for great service. Obviously they also appreciate tips, but in my experience making the effort to write in about a positive experience is also really nice.

Given that minimum wage has just gone up again I expect fewer and fewer people will be tipping as restaurants increase prices again to offset their wage bills.

As for the retail vs. hospitality argument, restaurant and bar work is far more soul destroying than shop work in my experience. Hangry people are wankers.

Zippetydoodahzippetyay · 04/04/2019 13:41

I'm in Australia and we don't tip as a general rule. The only time I would is in a restaurant if we'd had particularly good service or food. A lot of cafes and bars would have tip jars on the counter but most people would just pop small change in.

When I was in England I always tipped at bars/pubs, cafes, restaurants, taxis etc but never crossed my mind to tip the hairdresser. Not sure why.

I found USA totally confusing. I would read the price then have to add tax and tip and would spend ages trying to figure out how much to pay and then what I actually had in my hand (over here our notes are so much more distinct).

Namechangedforbabyname · 04/04/2019 14:59

I don't tip and I feel like it's a bit embarrassing for all involved? And unnecessary.

KaliforniaDreamz · 04/04/2019 16:51

adaline Tesco is a massive corporate who wouldn't allow their staff to accept tips. not the same thing at all.
Jeez.

Billben · 04/04/2019 17:42

Tesco is a massive corporate who wouldn't allow their staff to accept tips. not the same thing at all.
Jeez.

Jeez. I don’t think you really understood what the poster meant 😂

adaline · 04/04/2019 18:00

Tesco is a massive corporate who wouldn't allow their staff to accept tips. not the same thing at all.

Yeah...you totally missed my point!

If they were allowed to accept tips, would you tip them? What about the lady who owns a local independent shop in town? Of course you wouldn't. And they probably take home far less than any waitress.

Pk37 · 04/04/2019 18:25

I’ve always tipped and will continue to do so , I don’t care how much they make in relation to me and vice versa

SevenSeasofRye · 04/04/2019 18:29

I think tipping derives from the days when the upper class would give a bit of money to the poor underlings to ensure good service in the future. It's outdated and patronising. If staff are paid to do a job , they should do the job well, not expect to be paid extra to do their job properly. It's a nonsense. In what other industry would staff be expected to look for handouts on top of their salaries? Food and drink are charged at ludicrously high rates as it is, we shouldn't have to pay extra to be 'served'. It's an expectation that if we pay to be seated and there is waitress service, the job is to bring the food, and that's why we're paying through the nose anyway.

Snuffalo · 04/04/2019 18:39

I hate tipping, I think it’s patronising (as someone who used to do tipped work) and wn excuse for employers to pay less. However, I can afford it so I always do it. I do try to tip in cash though instead of adding it to the card as it will be easier for staff to keep management away from it that way.

adaline · 04/04/2019 18:40

I’ve always tipped and will continue to do so , I don’t care how much they make in relation to me and vice versa

So, why do you only tip some people and not others?

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