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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

The Mumsnet ideal

768 replies

Home77 · 03/04/2019 10:14

You have to: Have big house in the country
Work, both of you, all the hours you can to afford this.
Drive everywhere
Get a cleaner

If you have e.g. a flat, in the town, that is not a 'proper home'
If you don't work all the hours you can, you are lazy
Ditto for driving.

OP posts:
Hamsterdancer · 04/04/2019 05:56

If you live in a council house and work full time paying your own rent in full you should still feel bad for being subsidised by the tax payer.

If you leave an abusive relationship and are struggling for money you should have never had children you couldn't afford (clearly some people didn't work their crystal ball properly).

AndItStillSaidFourOfTwo · 04/04/2019 06:51

Leaving a primary-aged child, even if 9, to or 11, alone at home for 20 minutes or letting them walk to the shop on their own is a 'safeguarding issue' which will be 'noticed'*. The minute they hit secondary, they are to be capable of taking three buses across a city or cycling 10 miles to school.

*An exception may be granted if they are 'sensible'. All MNers' dc are 'sensible', in the same way as they 'grow like weeds', are 'top of their class' and 'flying' in their many extracurriculars.

AndItStillSaidFourOfTwo · 04/04/2019 06:52

9, 10 or 11, that should say Hmm

nelsonmuntzslingshot · 04/04/2019 07:07

If you’re paying in less than £1000 a month and your pension doesn’t provide you with an income of more than £50,000 a year then you are absolutely fucked and you might as well euthanise yourself now

tomhazard · 04/04/2019 07:09

Oh and women with babies and young children have absolutely no right to want to use a parent and child space in a supermarket. You have to park far far away and hope no one parks too close or you'll never get your car seat in. But that's fine because it's hardly a long walk.

buzzbobbly · 04/04/2019 07:11

If someone is poncing round the office in a see through string-strap vest top and micro-mini it is perfectly fine workwear and you are being an insufferable prude, not to mention a complete weirdo for even noticing.

Just "don't look" even if there's a pair of 36GGs bouncing in everyone's face.

corythatwas · 04/04/2019 07:13

If your child does not go to Oxbridge and aim at a high-flying career you have failed as a parent. All children should go to Oxbridge and aim at a high-flying career.
(not entirely clear who is to do the actual grunt work, but it shouldn't be the children of MNers, that's for sure)

Otoh any child who is gifted is also by definition troubled and unable to function socially. If your child gets on happily with other children and likes amusing themselves, then they are not gifted. It really makes no difference if they invent the cure for cancer: they are not gifted. They may of course still be bright and go to Oxbridge, as per above.

Dontforgetyourbrolly · 04/04/2019 07:17

Sorry I haven't read the full post. However I hope no one forgot to mention that you must never spend Xmas with your extended family or , God forbid, your in laws.
Ditto to ask said family to babysit for you.
If this all gets too much just book a spa day !

StillWould · 04/04/2019 07:18

If you get a bikini wax you are just doing it to please men

MaroonFlame · 04/04/2019 07:22

Your tired neighbour shouted at her kids to go to bed - you must call SS and log a complaint with the police! Parents can’t possibly get stressed and be human beings, it isn’t allowed here

BloggersNet · 04/04/2019 07:27

If you ever lose your temper, you're abusive. All exes are abusive. All men are abusive.

TheLastNigel · 04/04/2019 07:32

If you have a dog you should never leave it alone in the house for longer than twenty minutes or else it will suffer severe emotional and physical distress.

Redskyandrainbows67 · 04/04/2019 07:32

You must never shout ever. Shouting is child abuse and you must go to counselling immediately if you lose your temper.

You must go Nc with anyone that upsets you.

You should probably leave your oh now as it’s only going to get worse.

It’s perfectly fine to go on holiday any time you want and leave your kids - no matter their age. A week old - no problem! You deserve it and your parents /in laws must be happy and willing to baby sit.

Hamsterdancer · 04/04/2019 07:44

Single parent no money, house a tip and struggling to cope. Dont worry just hire a cleaner and go for a spa day.

Itwouldtakemuchmorethanthis · 04/04/2019 07:50

You definitely mustn’t let your dog out in the garden alone. It’s incredibly cruel even if he loves it and begs to go out. You should go out with him (even if it means leaving multiple small children alone in the house) and follow him around so he can never do anything unsupervised.Hmm

Your husband is always an abusive minion of the patriarchy and is obviously trying to turn you into a cowed shadow of your former self. He should do all tricky manual labour and definitely deal with every arsehole who you meet. He is never tired only lazy and he really should never go out without you at all.

Everybody who has autism is “high functioning”, in fact everybody with any social difficulties is autistic, there appear to be very few other disabilities ShockHmm. You must pursue diagnosis aggressively and keep going back to as many Drs as it takes to get it, even if the diagnosis brings no help whatsoever.

HugoBearsMummy · 04/04/2019 07:57

You must NEVER EVER leave your baby sleeping on their own not even for 2 minutes whilst you use the toilet- you must sit and stare at them all day and do NOTHING ELSE!!! Or you are a terrible mother.

Myusernameismud · 04/04/2019 08:04

Has anyone said you Must cancel the cheque? Grin

Myusernameismud · 04/04/2019 08:05

Should have capitalised MUST but autocorrect didn't like it.

I also forgot, you must have a stunt pineapple and naice ham for when you have visitors. Even if you're only doing nibbly bits.

malificent7 · 04/04/2019 08:09

Be a sahm mum unless you are a single mum in which case you need at least 3 jobs as you are a sponger...oh and its your fault for choosing to have kids with a looser.

buzzbobbly · 04/04/2019 08:10

Haven't RTFT, but OP should cancel the cheque

Grin
THEsonofaBITCH · 04/04/2019 08:16

Your children must never have a temper tantrum, otherwise you are to blame for poor parenting and inflicting emotional abuse not only on the child but all those who are forced to watch the tantrum!

troubleswillbeoutofsight · 04/04/2019 08:30

You must have numerous and mysterious hobbies as must your offspring as well as work full time and earn a shit load of money. You must not discuss the logistics of all these hobbies and activities, when they are carried out, who takes the children etc as you’re obviously working 16 hour days

nelsonmuntzslingshot · 04/04/2019 08:54

Childcare problems? Get an au pair. What do you MEAN you haven't got a self contained annex??

HarrySnotter · 04/04/2019 09:05

Your child/children must be on the G & T list at school. Oh and if the school as much as hint that one of your precious DCs should wind their neck in a bit, behaviour wise, you must immediately lodge a complaint as you know your child behaves perfectly. Don't bother finding out any facts.

Always assume that anyone of the older generation who behaves like a dick has dementia.

Pack your child's Bento box with freshly made sushi, hand picked fruit and distilled angel tears for a drink. Crisps are Satan's poo crumbs.

Change your bedding every 45 minutes or you are a slattern.

Have a summer house.

Siameasy · 04/04/2019 09:11

If you have an opinion, unless you link a million peer reviewed studies Supporting your experience you are not allowed to post. The studies will then be discredited because they don’t fit in with the naysayer’s agenda. Try harder!